The Literal AI-Generated Bye Week Update Headline is – Colts at the Bye: A Season of Ups and Downs

AI wrote this part:


The Indianapolis Colts head into their Week 14 bye with a 6-7 record, leaving them with a lot to ponder after a rollercoaster first half of the season. It’s been a year marked by inconsistency, flashes of brilliance, and more than a few head-scratching moments. Let’s break down the Colts’ season so far:

The Anthony Richardson Saga: The biggest storyline has undoubtedly been the rookie quarterback’s development. After being thrust into the starting role, Richardson initially struggled, leading to a controversial benching in Week 9. However, the time off seemed to light a fire under the young QB. Since his return, Richardson has looked more confident, decisive, and explosive as both a passer and runner.

Defensive Woes: While the offense has shown signs of life, the defense has been a major concern. Inconsistency has plagued this unit, struggling to generate consistent pressure and giving up big plays at crucial moments. The bye week provides a much-needed opportunity to address these issues and find ways to create more havoc for opposing offenses.

Shane Steichen’s Gamble: Head Coach Shane Steichen has made some bold decisions this season, most notably the aforementioned benching of Richardson. While it initially drew criticism, Steichen’s gamble seems to be paying off. He’s shown a willingness to adapt and make tough calls, which could benefit the Colts in the long run.

Looking Ahead: The bye week comes at a perfect time for the Colts to regroup and refocus. They need to find a way to establish a consistent identity on both sides of the ball. If Richardson can continue his upward trajectory and the defense can find a way to tighten up, the Colts could be a dangerous team in the second half of the season.

The next few weeks will be crucial for Indianapolis. Will they rise to the challenge and make a playoff push? Or will they fade down the stretch? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: this Colts season has been anything but boring.


Like every single headline about the Colts for the last two years, everything in Indianapolis is contingent on Anthony Richardson. As many may recall, Anthony Richardson was drafted fourth overall in 2023 after posting a college career record of 6-7 across two seasons of starts.

I guess he’s improving. His career NFL record is now 7-6. And two weeks before the bye, he racked up a $22K fine for unnecessary roughness for this:


So yeah, I’ve seen enough. Young black-possibly-we-don’t-see-color-here-at-sports-media quarterback being treated separate-but-equal1 to Joe Burrow.

I think we all know where this ends up for Richardson, if he’s lucky.

Yeah the Colts are still in the race for a 2024 AFC Wildcard spot. Basically, if they beat the Broncos on their bye week return, the Colts take an important tie-breaker with the like the league’s easiest remaining/shortest schedule.

I honestly don’t know if their last two games will be televised. I feel there should be blackouts due to shitty records at this point. I see New York on the schedule and want to force in a joke about that UHC CEO getting gunned down in the street in Manhattan but that’s just lazy.

So yeah — the Colts look like they’re gonna be in purgatory for the next few weeks plus like four years.

Gravy.

/Fin


1Equal isn’t always Fair, and Fair isn’t always Equal.” -Ramon George

5 5 votes
Article Rating
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
Subscribe
Notify of
109 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Redshirt

THAT’S MY…isobaric chart?

IMG_0615.jpeg
BeefReeferLives

comment image

Unsurprised

Christmas with the Fozzes

(I am going to beat this horse into its component atoms)

BeefReeferLives

comment image

Unsurprised

When else would I have an excuse to share this?

https://youtu.be/j1TsoCgBDqA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The funny thing is that given how effective he was as a hit man, the mob would probably have been *happy* to hook him up with a new ID in exchange for going to work for them in the future.

Redshirt

Effective? He left evidence, the gun jammed and he removed his mask to hit on somebody! If it wasn’t for the cold-blooded murder, it would make for a Monty Python sketch.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean sure he made mistakes, but they were ones that proper coaching can fix. The important thing is that he eliminated the target, and didn’t panic when – as you mentioned – the gun jammed. Dealt with it like a stone cold pro.

Redshirt

Collinsworth is the Bengals-related guest on Manningcast? Haven’t we suffered enough this season?!

Unsurprised

Maybe Mario is still out there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like if I were named Mario I’d probably be laying low at the moment.

Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt

The games in JerryWorld. Why are they in…(zooms in)…the stadium I build in Madden Franchise Mode?

Gatoraids

Will we be able to tell the difference between the Cartoon Eli from the “real” Eli

SonOfSpam

There’s a Real Eli?

Unsurprised

There’s a Real Eli inside each of us.

SonOfSpam

That’s great hustle.

Redshirt

In other news, a scandal rocks Hollywood as A-list actresses Emma Stone and Anya Taylor-Joy were caught cheating on their spouses simultaneously with a slightly overweight Ohioan who frequents a sports discussion board on multiple FBI, Interpol and Anonymous Watch Lists.

Read more on my blog: Crazy Shit That Wouldn’t Even Happen In My Dreams.

IMG_0614.jpeg
ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo has a thing for shoulders and today I discovered you have a thing for weird eyes.

Alrighty then.

SonOfSpam

Also they could both use a cheeseburger or twelve.

Redshirt

Don’t worry, it’s my fantasy. Ice cream and chocolate syrup will be involved.

SonOfSpam

True, if they end up in Indiana, 200 lbs ain’t out of the question

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Important to remember that sugar-based viscous liquids are NOT lubricants.

Redshirt

DFO Fetish List updated

Unsurprised

She is a walking monument to the uncanny valley

Unsurprised

Is his first suggestion to fire Mike Brown into the sun?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Official theme song of said blog:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T1t5OFOYDU

Horatio Cornblower

In non-CEO shooting related news, West Ham and Wolves are going full plaid.

Unsurprised

Hide the sheep!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The game ended at 2-1 and the final goal was in the 72nd minute? I think we are going to have to send you back to remedial bananacakes cooking class.

Redshirt

These taste like store-bought Bananacakes!

Unsurprised

The real lesson is that boomers are all fucking snitches.

Horatio Cornblower

A second lesson would seem to be that, if you’re on the run after having murudered a CEO, maybe get that Quarter Pounder to go.

Redshirt

Though stopping at McDonalds after killing a corrupt executive who stolen people’s money at the expense of their health is S-tier irony.

Gatoraids

Good chance they will make his meal there the next Celebrity Meal there with ghost gun parts included.

King Hippo

Ask for the 2A Combo!

Gatoraids

should only goto Waffle House where snitches are forbidden

Horatio Cornblower

Waffle House employees would have fought the cops who showed up to arrest the guy.

ArmedandHammered

And won.

Unsurprised

So that’s how the Fozzes and the other Baltimore families secured their Thanksgiving truce.

If he actually wrote Mangionis in that post, I’d seriously be suspicious of our favorite purple hulk.

Redshirt

.

IMG_0613.jpeg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY DEE ALFORD I CALL HIM TOWELIE BECAUSE HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1hadt6c/highlight_dee_alford_quite_simply_has_no_idea/

Horatio Cornblower

Make an offer on his property; he’s about to need some ready cash.

Unsurprised

His legal fund is going to be as liquid as all the panties that have been soaked since that first photo dropped.

Redshirt

If you’re waiting on Dominoes Pizza, it may be a while…

IMG_0612.jpeg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That appears to be from the official Domino’s Pizza account which impresses me so much that it erases like 25% of the regret I carry for eating as much of their garbage product as I did when I was in college.

ballsofsteelandfury

We ordered Domino’s the other day. I prefer it to Pizza Hut. It’s not the greatest pizza in the world, but it’s perfectly cromulent!

Horatio Cornblower

The entire state of Connecticut collectively shuddered when I read that sentence out loud.

ballsofsteelandfury

Clearly, I can’t order delivery from Connecticut.

If I could, I would

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know that a while back (5 years?) they made a very public effort to improve the quality of their product.

Unsurprised

I can’t like this because it’s obviously AI slop.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If AI was really great it would have taken out the Colts at the source

SonOfSpam

AI had Jude Law as a robot manwhore, so it was pretty great.

Redshirt

https://www.cnn.com/us/live-news/brian-thompson-unitedhealthcare-death-investigation-12-9-24/index.html

Damn it, Luigi! First you hit me with the Blue Shell in Mario Kart 64, and now this?!

SonOfSpam

I hope he shouted “IT’SA ME!” when he pulled the trigger.

Also, he apparently used a DIY “ghost gun” and the Supreme Court has blood on their hands (moreso)

Horatio Cornblower

The only way we’re going to get sensible gun control in this country is if a bunch of extremely rich people get shot to death, so…progress?

Unsurprised

Heh

Have you seen Trump’s ATF director?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He also has very strong opinions on 3-D printed guns.

https://x.com/bgmasters/status/1513599602196291588

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t understand why he wasn’t trying to leave the country….

Redshirt

I don’t understand why he only went as far as Altoona, PA. If you’re going to trigger a countrywide search, at least go farther than one state away.

SonOfSpam

The old truism still fits; after committing a murder, never flee to a Pirates’ minor league affiliate town.

Senor Weaselo

Tried to throw them a Curve.

Gumbygirl

I guess he figured “nobody goes to Altoona, they’ll never find me here!”

Sharkbait

I was there this summer for a friends wedding. It’s about what you’d expect.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean I have to revise my expectations at this point, given how attractive of a destination is turns out to be for murderers.

Hmm. “Murderer” sounds a bit harsh. How about “extreme vigilante”?

Gumbygirl

How about legend?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Luigi Legend, I like it.

Gumbygirl

We call people from Altoona “Altoids”.
It’s not because they have minty fresh breath!

Horatio Cornblower

Apparently if you read his social media history it’s pretty obvious: he’s kinda dumb.

Horatio Cornblower

When I say “kinda dumb” I mean kinda dumb for a guy who graduated Ivy league with engineering degrees in less time than usual, but who also followed Joe Rogan.

Unsurprised

His digital footprint reads like someone who was radicalized by Cum Town and Red Scare.

Senor Weaselo

Have we learned nothing from The Godfather: Part II, where Vito breaks the gun into many pieces after assassinating Don Fanucci?

Horatio Cornblower

Luigi: “I did it. I killed the United Healthcare CEO, it was absolutely premeditated, and I absolutely will do it to another healthcare CEO if I am ever allowed to walk free again.”

Me, as a juror: “That damned reasonable doubt! Guess we gotta let him walk, right folks?”

Rest of Jurors: “Yes, agreed.”

Judge: “You do know that the door to the jury room hasn’t even closed and we can all hear you, right?”

ballsofsteelandfury

Live look:

comment image

Last edited 12 days ago by ballsofsteelandfury
SonOfSpam

I knew the Healthcare Shooter would be an immigrant,

Time to round up and deport all the Italians.

Gumbygirl

I was wondering what Fozzie’s real name is!

SonOfSpam

Johnny Jackoff Fozzarooni

(“Jackoff” is short for “Jackoffellatio”)

Horatio Cornblower

If it was Fozz he’d had done it far more subtly, like collapsing an entire bridge with an ocean liner as the guy was being chauffeured over a large and very important body of water.

Senor Weaselo

Just according to keikaku.

(Translator’s note: “Keikaku” means plan)

Redshirt

I figured Fozz would manifest his rage like an anime character and go roaming the world, taking out those who have wronged him and/or screwed up the world.

2Pack

So you’re saying there’s a chance?
I’m just glad we’re getting back some cheerleader banners. Even with the masks…

King Hippo

Society knows why it must be punished by Uncle Teddy’s mug.

ballsofsteelandfury

Of all the cheerleaders, you choose Indianapolis cheerleaders…

King Hippo

That’s Blax’ doing! No cheerleaders from me unless I am filling in for someone else. Them’s teh roolz.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not even the Cougettes?

ballsofsteelandfury

I think I’m going to write a post of Cure songs that apply to Hippo.

SonOfSpam

He does Love Cats.

2Pack

Well here we go…

IMG-20241206-WA0001.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t have such dark hair and am not a cat but otherwise you’ve pretty much hit bullseye there.

Unsurprised

Spiritually, you’re a cat.

King Hippo

so wonderfully, wonderfully pretty!

2Pack

Or a couple Cult tunes

SonOfSpam

potayto, potahto

Gumbygirl

Some of those girls couldn’t get off the ground. Must be all the gravy

2Pack

Now, now, take two shoulders and get some rest…

IMG_20241201_173946.png
Unsurprised

The Industrial Revolution