Your Lazy, Post-Xmas Football-Rich Open Thread

/takes hand-off from Hippo, wipes pill dust from the ball

Hey, welcome back! It really is a dreary day here as well. With the temps so mild our back roads in the boonies are an intermittent series of skating rinks. But I did my wee errands and now it’s time to hunker down and watch so much ball my eyes bleed.

To The Games!

Miami (Ohio)/Colorado State:

Ah, it’s that other school out west vs the team that has to differentiate itself from the more prominent football program. That Miami always confused the hell out of me when I watched the Central Michigan basketball Chippewas on a PBS channel back in high school. Neither of these teams are ranked and Snoop Dogg is the host.

East Carolina/N.C. State:

The O/U on this tilt is a beastly 59.5! I’m guessing that these defenses can’t defense. That or they have high-powered offenses. I’ll choose the flaw over the more optimistic opinion.

BYU/Colorado:

Ladies and gentlemen, your new starting QB for the NY Giants Shedeur “Two Sheds” Sanders! He’ll provide a wonderful transition from Dimes in that he’s been sacked up the ying-yang just like Jones was in college and it’ll continue into the pros.

Louisiana Tech/Army:

One of the other armed services gets the spotlight. (such as it is when the pros are playing at the same time)

Broncos/Bengals:

Is Cincy’s D going to show up? Why would they this late in the season? Rookie Nix hasn’t thrown an INT in six of his last 9 games and no one fears that secondary. His counterpart would be in the MVP chatter if only his team had a better record. This has the feel of a high-flying game.

Cards/Rams:

Who’da thunk that Arizonny would fade down the stretch except for everyone?

Enjoy the offerings.

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
364 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
King Hippo

Joe Burrow said NAUGHTY WORDS

Doktor Zymm

KITTIES!

Mr. Ayo

NEVER A DOUBT!

KITTIES 😻😻😻!

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like someone might need to reboot Nix.

rockingdog

Tee Higgins with the Huge Catch!
That was Rocking!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Oh man, if they overturn this one…

King Hippo

HERE COMES VAR

Redshirt

My left arm is numb. That a good sign?

King Hippo

Probably mild. Grab some chips and POWER THROUGH

Unsurprised

Yeah. And that toast smell is just your neighbor being a bad cook.

Doktor Zymm

Well done (double checks) Bengals deefence? Kitties might still get this

clint greasewood

Neither of these orange bastards want to win.

Doktor Zymm

I have a theory that orange just pisses off sports gods for some reason

King Hippo

If only the orange bastard from November, yada yada

Mr. Ayo

Fatty, wtf! Run the clock!

King Hippo

You can’t trust a fat fuck. Like Hippo always say.

Unsurprised

He ain’t lyin’
— fellow fatty

King Hippo

chuh chuh ONE OF US!!!!

litre_cola

Game. Of. The. Year.

Gumbygirl

I agree.

Horatio Cornblower

What kind of retar…special play-calling is that from Denver?

King Hippo

WHAT HIJINXS NEXT???

Unsurprised

Burrow’s too good for a Safety, but …

Unsurprised

Dog …

Gumbygirl

Jesus Christ, this is the most amazing game.

Doktor Zymm

A lot of gods slack off when they make deity status, but Doink is a solid workaday god

Unsurprised

A real lunch pail god. Definitely a Gruden Grinder.

ballsofsteelandfury

Oh. My. God. Bengals.

Horatio Cornblower

Just heard someone, I assume Redshirt, screaming “Oh my fucking God!!!” after that offering to Doink.

Last edited 17 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
rockingdog

Hahaha!
A DOINK!

This game has been Rockinggggggg!!!

Redshirt

This is my life

Doktor Zymm

Hey, bright side, you could have been a Browns fan

Don T

QUEEEEEEEEEEE

litre_cola

Oh my god.

King Hippo

BACKUP placement man. From 40. What could possibly go wrong

Redshirt

That

King Hippo

WHY is Fatty calling timeout? Assuming we somehow get the ball back – a DRAW CLINCHES PLAYOFFS.

litre_cola

Higgins, nawt a bright move.

litre_cola

Redemption thy name is Tee

King Hippo

Burrow is going to murder someone(s). No jury would convict him.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d vote to convict Luigi Mangione before I voted to convict Burrow.

Last edited 17 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
Redshirt

WHERE IS THE FLAG?!

King Hippo

Next on the bingo card is missed FG

Mr. Ayo

Doink?

King Hippo

oooooh, good call, Bastard Man

clint greasewood

You sicko

King Hippo

ah feel SEEN

King Hippo

GIVE THIS MAN A MEDAL

Doktor Zymm

Nice call!

litre_cola

Nailed it.

Doktor Zymm

C’mon kitties! Skibbidy meow!

King Hippo

oops, that’s ballgame

Redshirt

God, it sucks being a Bengals fan.

litre_cola

This is intense. Even the Mrs. is yelling at the teevee.

rockingdog

Burrow, Chase, Higgins
Seems Rocking to me!

Lmao!

litre_cola

Oooof that was not a good series

Unsurprised

And tissue paper for D

King Hippo

At least you know what you need. TD or bust.

rockingdog

Overtime!
Moooorrrreeeee Football! 🏈

That’s Rocking!!!!

WCS

Thank you, Pop-Tarts Bowl, for turning the post-game into this every year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9wsjroVlu8

Doktor Zymm

Hoooooboy
I think we getting bonus football because the the bengals D is poopy

King Hippo

oh my, Magical Pony. Think VAR saves you, though.

rockingdog

Hahahaha!

rockingdog

On 4th down!
Nix is a rookie!
Into Double Coverage!

That was Rockingggg!!!

Horatio Cornblower

NAWT A CATCH????

King Hippo

At the helmet touch, he doesn’t have control. Is incomplete.

King Hippo

WOW. I can’t believe they allowed that. Unreal.

Doktor Zymm

We know not what catch is, nor where or why catch

Mr. Ayo

#TheBungles!

Redshirt

!

IMG_0706.jpeg
WCS

Sorry, man.

Horatio Cornblower

Cinnamon Roll is the choice for the Pop Tart Bowl sacrifice!

WCS

DIE MOTHERFUCKER DIE

King Hippo

Trent Green is WRONG. Playing for FG after the dumb injury means kicking off around 0:45. So, you have to take the TD there.

Redshirt

The timeout changed things.

King Hippo

Right, otherwise you kneel twice and kick FG around 0:10

Redshirt

Okay, that was a costly touchdown.

WCS

Cornpole State > Da U

Doktor Zymm

Chase Brown ded trying not to score, rbs should practice that moar

Horatio Cornblower

Sean Payton has a very punchable face.

Brick Meathook

Lee Harvey Payton:

comment image

Don T

Dallas PD photography sure is slimmin’’

King Hippo

Wonder if Zac will understand to bleed the clock, now?

King Hippo

they screwed it up because Border Patrol knows not how to slide

Mr. Ayo

He will nawt. Pad those stats!

rockingdog

Alright I’m psyched to see how this ends!
It’s been Rockinggggggg!!!
🐅 vs 🐎
Yay football! 🏈

King Hippo

Qards and RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! will be there to bring us back down to earth, even!

Redshirt

Boy, I guess Zac Attack would like one of those passed on Field Goal Attempts back.

Doktor Zymm

Nix pix? Kinda want pixie stix

Redshirt

Bengals Defense did…good?!