Playoff-intensity hockey in February? Yes please. I may have mentioned this before but I had a jaundiced view of this whole tourney as it approached and I’m now officially chagrined. Hell, the Finns/Swedes tilt was just fine in my book. The NHL-or rather, hockey itself-comes through yet again. Let’s take a peek into the goings-on in the NFL first though.
Minutiae:
-Kids These Days: Are stupid beyond belief. Apparently the dumbshits that robbed athletes homes while they were away couldn’t help themselves and threw pics onto their socials with stuff lifted during their illegal shenanigans. This impulse to document everything you do almost every minute of the day for clicks results in this mind-blowingly ridiculous behavior. As someone that didn’t grow up with a phone and uses it for work 75% of the time, I feel that I can be condescending here.
-#1 Candidate for a Knee Replacement at 40: I hope his health insurance is paid up. Offensive lineman Jon Feliciano of the “Feliz Navidad Feliciano’s” sat out all of last season rehabbing his knee. While announcing his retirement he mentions that if a team headed to the playoffs next year needs some help down the stretch, he’ll be available. For a price. The price being the further destruction of his already damaged-beyond-repair knee. Good god, he actually said, “I know I can’t last a full season”. My first reflex was to make a joke about alimony payments but this is sad as hell.
-Brother, Can You Spare a Roster Spot?: Some potential free agents of note (by no means is this exhaustive) include Amari Cooper, Durham Smythe, (he scored his only TD of the year when I streamed him in ’22) Ronnie Stanley, Mike Gesicki, (did not score a TD when I streamed him. Bastard!) Justin Fields, Stefon Diggs, Joe Flacco, Zach Wilson, Josh Palmer, K.J. Osborn (he scored a TD when I streamed him) and Josh Johnson.
-I’ll Have The Brazilian: The Chargers are going to be playing in Sao Paolo, which is not the Big Jesus statue town so we’ll be spared that at least. By my optimistic (it’s still a cromulent word despite [waves hands] everything around you) thinkings, we might get a pair of staggered games on Thursday, this tilt on Friday, the usual triple-thingy on Sunday and a double-header on Monday. That’s a lot of the good stuff.
To The Game!
Canada/USA:
-Just a shout-out to the American hockey fans here on this site. You folks are gold. (hopefully silver tonight, yuk, yuk)
-Canada solving that Hellbuck fella is paramount. He’s got an outrageous .957 save percentage over his two starts.
-If Canada wins and Crosby scores a point, he’s MVP.
-Brady Tkachuk, one of the most beloved of the American players in the Connecticut area, is good to go for tonight.
-For those getting the TSN feed, Claire Hanna handles a lot of the intermission stuff and she’s been cutting her teeth during Senators broadcasts during the last few years. She’s going places.
-Prediction?: Someone wins in OT by at least one goal.
Do your thing.
FUCK YES!!!!
Good god, Binnington.
Help him out, Canada.
MCJESUS SHALL SAVE YOU!
I will wager double the amount of money the guy paid for the seat that the idiot wrapped in the US flag just now banging on the glass is wearing a flag made in some SE Asian country.
as long as TEH GHEYTRANSWOKE DEE EEE EYES ARENT IN MERUCA
All of this building to Sharkbait running around with an American flag around his wig-wong.
Yoooooo!
That OT hype up video with that old coach speech with these new guys cut in was ROCKINGGGG!!! 💯💪
/Game goes 5 OTs and the NHL bans this tournament from ever happening again.
I do love how every member of the ESPN broadcast team said something to the effect of “don’t worry, there’s no goddamn shootout, this will be decided like a real hockey game”
Oh, I’m 1000% in the for the duration, but we all know good and well Bettman isn’t.
OT! That’s ROCKINGGGG!!!
BONUS HOCKEY! FUCK AND YES!
Sharkbait, during yet another USA chant…
Matt Boldy just looks lost out there without his normal linemates Patrick Underline and Gustav DropDownBoxElementFontSize.Selected.FontSize=14
I was always a fan of Alex Strikethrough
Don’t forget his teammate from Quebec, Pierre Caret
“Tkachuk clearly injured…”
Well, whatever happens I’ve got that going for me.
/switches phone number to “9-1-6” for duration of third period
Due to budget cuts we are only open from 9 to 5 Monday to Friday, please call back during our bidness hours.
Click
OT ain’t gonna improve Allegheny 911’s response time, that’s for damn sure.
“I’m sorry, you’ve reached the wrong county.”
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allegany_County,_Maryland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okOBL-29U4M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIGz4mAJYRg
I am so very glad Mike Lange got not just one more Cup, but two. Thanks for making a generation of hawkey devotees, Mikey.
Awwww, he was great.
One of the ref’s names is “Gord”… no surprise the US isn’t getting any calls
One of the other ones is named Tim Horton. Zamboni driver is wearing a toque.
If you could read my mind right now…
What a tale his thoughts would tell
Just like a trespassing hobo
That his knife will send to hell
How big is this hobo?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT15Gd81xa8
Oh great, now we’re never gonna get Lowratio to go to sleep.
Thanks a lot.
Hobos disappear up North
Scotchy saw nothing
Don’t mind the blood over there
GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/this is headed to OT, no doubt
The outcome it deserves.
RELEASE THE OVERTIME!
Crosby has an assist, if not the goal. It’s meant to be.
Oh shitttt!
Canada scores! That’s ROCKING! 🇨🇦
Et le BUT!
Found a funny:
🐕
Showed my wife this photo and she asked why a dog dressed as a flasher was getting arrested in front of Ronald Reagan.
That’s FLASHING!!!!
USA hockey is separate from the country..USA hockey is separate from the country..USA hockey is separate from the country..USA hockey is separate from the country..
The cheeto called them today and they were beaming. Fuck that.
Power play! 💯
That’s ROCKING!!!!
That’s two Ontario Senators players scoring for America, would hate to be a Canadian AND a sSentators fan right about now…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWbz_mIAShM&ab_channel=CoreyNewsome
if only they were the most offensive Senators this year
Putting everything else aside, Canada’s doing a lot of standing around on D.
That’s bad, and they shouldn’t do that.
Lord, I can’t change!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0LwcvjNJTuM
ITS ROCKING!
Also, shout out to Montana!
GOAL
(watching USWNT playing against Colombia, we’re up 2-0)
…
Guess we better get raking!
Found a funny:
🏀
“When you get in the zone you have to rim it out….”
Hockey guy discussing strategy, or Ballsofsteelandfury about to be thrown out of a high school career day symposium?
Some dude at TD Garden before the game
Hahaha! That’s Rocking!
I’ll take it!
I think the USA deserves to loose this hockey game 🇨🇦
Yikes
LoL
If only it was running, and the Muskrat had dropped it on his own stupid head. That would have been karma on an epic scale!
SO MANY OF US WOULD HAVE SPONTANEOUSLY ORGASMED
Also our standing in the world
Oh we’re well on our way on that one.
copied from a far classier and less harmful individual as most of his ideas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxRigGcXrrI
“Unhinged South African Threatens America With Chainsaw. We’re Going To Normalize It.”
-The New York Times
FREEBIRD!
Bunch of meatheads chanting U-S-A at a hockey game where Prince Edward Island is sponsoring the rink.
THIS HOCKEY RINK I CALL IT TRUMP’S FAA, BECAUSE IT’S FALLING APART MUCH FASTER THAN EXPECTED!!!
That’s one thing I love about the NHL. “Jack Hughes, the star of the New Jersey Devils; still only 23, and an 11-year veteran of the league.”
His adult teeth grew in but all got knocked out in his sophmore season.
I didn’t Fulham yell but I did indeed shout yes.
I’m rooting for Canada. Once you invite Trump to anything other than his own wake you’ve lost my rooting interest. I hope the USA loses 4-1, and I hope all the players twist their ankles except the Tkachuks, who I hope shatter theirs.
OH! CANADA!
LOOK AT YOU, CANADA!
Hoping the Americans embrace victory in the same way that Bobby Hull embraced the Hartford Whalers.
Surprised he didn’t sign that “this didn’t happen”
“Wayne Gretzky drops the sacred puck. Somewhere, on another hockey planet, the American National Anthem lasts seventeen full minutes and the hand-clapping results in third-degree burns. The ice melts. Players fall into the abyss. Players from both teams look at each other, knowing that the end is near.”
-H. P. Lovecraft, hockey announcer
“Cthulu, five minutes for…whatever that was, and a 10-minute game misconduct.”
5 minutes for melting the opposing goalies mind, he just now sits in the back corner of the net carving eldritch symbols in the ice – and his face.
Without question the best anthem was saxomophone guy. I will die on this hill.
And now singing the US anthem: KID ROCK!
I love me some Hellebuyck and Connor but not tonight fellas.
This lady is butchering the Canadian anthem.
Key & Peele – Economy Plus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vkgnlwi9w8
Release the Americans*
* USA hockey specifically
-Release the Americans. Ronald Regan 1980
Only after sabotaging negotiations.
Also, having recorded conversations with Nixon where both were frequently dropping N-bombs.
But yeah, just like Nixon during Vietnam, keep the war going for personal gain. a Republican tradition unlike any other.
Nigeria bombs are the worst!
yellow cake!
No one remembers this tongue-in-cheek tune. My theory? Too cheeky.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPCa1pHpTdA&ab_channel=Clich%C3%A9matic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTCy9eFPoqA
This what sparked my love of hawkey. Growing up right when Lemuiex and Jagr were doing impressive work helped, too.
Jon Feliciano better hope the Broncos pick him up for their playoff because, if their opponent does, Sean Peyton is gonna put a hit on that knee the likes of which the world has never seen before.
Will he be protecting the blindside?
BFC’s previous thread hits hard. As (what I though was) a recovering fat kid. I knew depression intimately. Morose was pretty much my baseline and golf and work were the only things that would even get me out of the house.
Eventually, I lost a bunch of weight, did some really stupid shit, and spent the better part of 2019 and 2020 as an absolute maniac. I met the maybe future Duchess over covid, but that entire time period got me out of the reasonably healthy habits (every day gym guy, once a week on the couch with the therapist) I’d finally developed after years of a sedentary, down lifestyle. But I finally had someone that loved me as much as I loved her. After 25 years of eating shit in the golf business, I finally found a unicorn job. It finally felt like I’d turned things around for good.
Cut to summer of 2024. After his first colonoscopy in 20 years, my dad found out that he had stage 4 colon cancer. Not long after my beloved decided to move back home to New York to help her (increasingly underwater) sister’s family out. I drove her and the dogs 2000 miles cross country. I don’t want to EVER make that drive again. If it was even two years ago, I’d have probably gone with her. No job in Westchester even compares to what I’m doing now, and I couldn’t leave my sister on the hook with taking care of my dad if his condition decides to go south. So I stayed.
The Duchess and I are keeping the long distance thing going, (FaceTime dates a couple times a week, sending each other stuff, texting constantly.) She comes back once a quarter for work, and I’m going back there in a couple weeks to help her move into her new house. But I’m feeling those familiar pangs of the blues. I can’t sleep at night anymore, and I’m starting to put the pounds that I nearly killed myself to lose back on. I feel like shit, am hitting the ball like shit, and miss her and the dogs so bad it hurts. And I know how to fix some of it (get back in the gym, get back on the couch), buy my motivation anymore to do anything is ZERO. And as irrational as it sounds, I’m kinda scared of the frustration that I’m just getting too old and I can’t do what I used to do. I know it’s okay, and doing something is better than nothing, but the thought still paralyzes me.
Anyway, to echo BFC’s sentiment, FUCK DEPRESSION.
That’s some good being a man, right there.
How soon before she’s back? Or is that all a big unknown?
Because it sounds like you need to be with her. Unicorn jobs are one thing, but true love is another. You deserve that.
So Head East.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TXP963P0nDQ&pp=ygUfaGVhZCBlYXN0IG5ldmVyIGJlZW4gYW55IHJlYXNvbg%3D%3D
She’s not coming back. She quote, “didn’t want to die in Utah like her mother.” About seven months before we met (late February/early March 2020) her mom was visiting her from Yonkers out here, and contracted a “mystery respiratory illness” and passed away suddenly. My gal is first generation Italian-American and omens and signs really effect her.
I suppose I’ll end up there eventually, but not for awhile. Tough to leave this situation I’m in now and not be able to really contribute much. She does well, low six figures as a corporate accountant. I just cleared 50k for the first time in my life last year. An actual pension down the road is in play. I didn’t think those even existed anymore. Assistant golf pro jobs back there pay about 2/3 of that and the cost of living is almost twice as much. Like, if you’re the first assistant at Winged Foot GC, you’re probably doing okay. If you’re the third assistant (what would probably be my starting point), you’re living in your car in the parking lot. Even less if you go the muni route which aligns more with my professional philosophy. And breaking into a new area where I have zero professional reputation is fucking terrifying.
I’d feel like less of a man if I couldn’t contribute. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in and it feels like it’s slipping away. I should’ve put a ring on her two years ago, but I’m an idiot.
I’ve got a couch in the basement you can use.* It’s a 3 hour drive from Westchester.
*I have not cleared this with Mrs. Horatio, nor my cat, nor my dog. All of them will have opinions on the subject.
I’ll settle for buying you a beer next time I’m in your area. We can bitch about Aaron Boone in person.
I am VERY sympathetic to “feeling like less of a man” by not contributing as much. But if you’re together, it’s a team game. And if you make her happy, she won’t care about the money.
Sorry, I’m telling you stuff you already know. It’s a tough call. But you’ll regret losing one more than the other. Also, it’s entirely possible you’ll find something different work-wise that you haven’t even imagined yet. You’re a cromulent writer and could probably do all manner of things to earn money (that don’t involve blowing businessmen).
No matter what you do, you have friends here. Not me, of course, but those other guys seem to like you.
Yes. Wuv, twoo wuv, is harder to find than a jobby job.
Done.
I think you need to invest in some flights to New York. Get a credit card that accumulates miles on an airline that flies non-stop(or as close to it) from where you are to NY. Charge everything to that card, including flights. You’ll get a ton of free flights and that way you can see your love and still take care of Dad.
Thankfully, my current gig is pretty liberal with PTO, so I’m headed back there in a couple weeks to help her and the puppers get settled in her new house.
Isn’t it a good thing that McConnell is retiring?
In the short run, don’t matter. In the long run, Kentucky will elect someone more MAGA.
I mean, when he dies, I’ll raise a glass, but he’s become irrelevant.
This. Believe it or not, Kentucky will find someone worse.
Unless the definitely-not-at-all-climate-related-flooding drowns the lot of them which, fingers crossed!
They just reelected their Dem governor, so anything’s possible?
lol j/k we’re all so fucked
Beshears would have the best chance, true.
Isn’t he kind of irrelevant at this point? What sort of power does he hold at this juncture?
Let’s go, 4 fights in the first 8 seconds!
I can do 4 farts?…
Show off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ6bli9Xir4