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No, we’re not doing musical one-hit numbers. That’s Request Line territory, and has probably already done. Nope, today you’re drafting athletic one-hit wonders. Guys, or gals, who had that one (or no more than a couple) of really good seasons before fading into, as Mike Tyson would say, Bolivia.
The reason for the fade, (injuries, Bolivian marching powder, not taking steroids more than that one year, taking too many steroids that one year, just getting figured out by everyone else) aren’t as important, only that there was a fading into that dark good night.
The player in question does not have to have retired after their one(ish) good seasons, he or she just can’t have maintained a level of outstanding achievement in the field of excellence in their chosen sport.
With the first pick I will take our featured image guy, Mark ‘The Bird’ Fidrych. Fidrych burst onto this scene in 1976, with the Tigers of Old Detroit, (Clarence Meeks never missed a game), going 19-9 with a 2.34 ERA, winning Rookie of the Year, and finishing 2nd in the Cy Young voting. He also threw 24 complete games and 250+ innings, which may be why he won a total of 10 more games in the next four years and was out of baseball after 1980.
Fidrych died in 2009 when, while working on a truck, his clothes became entangled in the power take-off shaft and he suffocated.
On the list of ways I would like to go out that is way, way, way, way down there.
The rest of you are on the clock.
Jerome Harrison, Running Back Cleveland Browns, 2009
During a three game stretch, guy goes form most forgettable career ever to suddenly rushing for 286 yards (the third most EVER) in december, follows it up with 2 really good 100 plus yard performances, in line to helping me win my first fantasy football championship
Guy only played like 16 combined games over 2 years after that
3. David Duval. Had a monster year in 2001, culminating with a win at the British Open, and that…was…it.
Athan Iannucci
Played 8 seasons in the NLL. Second season he scored 71 goals in 16 games in 2008. The previous record was 61 goals in 16 games ( Gary Gait, 2003). That record of 71 goals stood until 2016, with 2 extra games to play(18 total games), and was only beaten by a goal. He never scored more than 30 in the 6 remaining seasons.
Michael Bidwill took over day to day operations for the Arizona Cardinals in 2007. That’s about the most objective date we can come up with.
So his first year was the 2007-2008 year when Kurt Warner took the 9-7 Cardinals to the Super Bowl (respectable showing in a loss to the Steelers).
In the 16 seasons (and counting) since that Super Bowl Run his teams have:
6 times finished dead last in the division.
Only 5 times finished first or second in the division.
Only 4 times reached the playoffs (so 12 of 16 times missed the postseason entirely).
(I know this pick came too fast. I traded up with Spam — he can have my first and fifth next week.)
Going out on a limb here…
Sam Darnold
If I was going out on a limb I’d have chosen Jim Abbot’s 18-11 season.
I wish I paid closer attention to March Madness. There’s a kid every year that goes on a tear through the tournament, gets drafted high, then that’s it.
For Arizona, that 2011 player was Derrick Williams, including a dominating 32 point showing to spank Duke in the Sweet 16.
https://youtu.be/ia4bW797GLQ?si=a3t5jXRJErjyOBv0&t=197
“Never Nervous” Pervis Ellison is probably the poster boy for that sort of thing.
Andrew “The Hamburglar” Hammond (Senators) shone bright for about three months. He was a goalie that was just a depth piece that played in the AHL most of the time. He was called up due to injury and went on a ridiculous tear for 2 1/2 months in the 2014-15 season, single-handedly vaulting Ottawa into a playoff spot by going an unbelievable 20-1-2. Only 4 wins the next year, bounced around a bit and finished out his career two years ago with Chelyabinsk Traktor. Yes, that Chelyabinsk Traktor.
That’s awesome.
Awesome to the max.
And I’m old enough to remember Fidrychmania. Weird weird dude, his death was also weird.
How bout Leicester City?
Where you get gangrene and stares of pity.
This guy:
http://www.americansportscastersonline.com/images/SuzyKolber.jpg
Goddamn non-embedding jpgs…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynbqA7tS4eg
Oh how about a one bump wonder?
(Len Bias for those of you CTRL + F-ing)
Good lord man it’s only Monday, what dark humor is gonna last me the rest of the week?
Plenty more where that came from
Jim Craig. Lights out against the Soviets in the Olympics, never did anything in th NHL.
Marvin Harrison
Victor Cruz-two 1,000 yard seasons out of the gate and then a slow fade and then a blown-out Achilles.
He had some good dance moves though.
Didn’t he break a leg somewhere in there as well?
Yes, I think the Achilles came just after he had rehabbed the leg.
I honestly can’t remember if the Bears signed him before or after he broke his leg
Well, it’s the Bears, so let’s not rule out “during”
They signed him after both injuries.
Brady Anderson.
See Dante Bichette. Might have been the same season.
Anderson is the reason for the “not taking steroids more than that one year”
Allegedly.
*Anteater alum Brady Anderson. We also have Jon Lovitz!
RIP
I assure you, Jon Lovitz is very much alive.
2. Emma Raducanu. She won the U.S. Open in 2021 as a qualifier (roughly the NFL equivalent to being undrafted) and has barely been heard from since. Her career is still ongoing, but it’s not looking good.
She’s looking good, though…
She’s gorgeous.
She’s even more marketable than Kournikova, too.
See, the problem is those huge knockers get in the way. Same reason women aren’t good at golf. Boobs.
Leon Spinks. Shame, he was so handsome!
Buster Douglas
I barely even know her Douglas.
Buster was a genius. Smoked Tyson, then got paid millions to fight Holyfield, mailed that fight in and immediately quit getting hit in the head for a living.
Dante Bichette.
His head grew 5 hat sizes in one offseason.
From soccer: Freddy Adu
Did he ever actually accomplish anything? I honestly don’t remember him being anything other than a teenage great America hope who never actually did anything.
Chris Henry, may he Rest in Peace.
He’s up there with Eddie Aikau, Andy Irons, Jay Moriarty…you know, all those guys in famous surfer heaven.
The one hit was the pavement.
Tuffy Rhodes
https://www.marqueesportsnetwork.com/cubs-classics-tuffy-rhodes-historic-opening-day/
Hideki Irabu, Yankees
The fat toad?
I can’t find his Japanese stats, but I assume they’re really good so the pick is good.
Because holy crap, Irabu was not good in MLB.
1. Peyton Hillis
He was scrappy and had a high motor, ESPN
.
Does Doug Williams’ performance in the 1988 Playoffs count or is that mostly an above average player who played the very best at the right moment?
I would lean towards the latter. Williams overall had a solid if not spectacular career.
Nancy Kerrigan
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Jim Carey. Won the Vezina trophy with the Capitals and then his game fell off a cliff
Jay Williams, Chicago Bulls
Kerry Wood for the Cubs
I think this one wins the draft.
Wood had 4 years where he accumulated nearly 1,000 strike-outs. He’s close in this draft, but I wouldn’t say a definite.
Now, if we had a draft of “Pitchers Whose Career Dusty Baker Destroyed” (and we probably could) he’d be right up there.
/Mark Prior sobs
If someone doesn’t take Prior in this draft I will.
I chose him as his destruction was caused by Dusty Fucking Baker, as pointed out by you. I really think he could have had long term career and possibly a WS, except for that jackass, the King of Bad Decisions, the ultimate Failson, teams succeed in spite of him.