Subsequent GTD reflections

Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
History has a way of altering villains so that we can no longer see ourselves in them [in bed].
Adam Serwer

Not sure that I, personally, needed any history for that.

Since this little site of ours turned 10 last week, and we’ve been doing our origin stories, and I’ve been told that this is MANDATORY, I will tell mine.

I was a long time KSK reader, but like, never ever, commented.  When the exodus happened from there, I did follow one of the comments to this new site.  It felt similar to KSK, so stayed around.  Again, I just read and did not comment for over a year.  Looking in my user profile, my first comment was in December of 2016 on a Quotables post.  I’m still not a frequent commenter as I don’t have much that’s interesting.  I’m a pretty basic guy, and like my quiet low key life.  

My first post was about the Mann cup, which is the men’s summer lacrosse championship in 2018.  I did a few other random posts and then started the Bleergh report about penalties in the NFL.  The source for the raw data for those numbers went away, so was not able to write those anymore.  Nor was I willing to write something to parse the game sheets into something usable, either by hand or by code.  That’s like, work.

A few years later, balls asked for someone to take over the Comments post, so volunteered as a way to contribute back to the site on a more regular basis.  So since January of 2021, yikes, I’ve been doing the comments post and you are all suck with me.  hahaha.  

I’m hoping for many more years of liveblogs, dick jokes, inside jokes and just random shit.  You all are my favoUrites, tell the others.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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How about the showboating asshole Mike Ditka trading away his entire draft and some future picks for Ricky Williams? What a fool. At least Saints fans got this pic for their troubles.

scotchnaut

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I think the DeShaun Watson trade probably counts here. It doesn’t even matter who Houston took with those….6 picks including 3 first rounders. Watson’s contract and criminality make Houston a YUGE winner in that lopsided trade.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I just served the G7 leaders. Was incredible. Stay tuned…m
litre_cola

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One night my wife and I were awoken by the joyous sounds of my son, then around 8, falling down the stairs. He’d gotten up to use the bathroom, then walked straight instead of hooking a left towards his room.

Mrs. Horatio can and will sleep through the cracking of the 7th Seal, but when her first born started down the stairs she moved so fast I thought she might catch him before he got to the bottom.

She did not.

The clattering comes to an end, we freeze at the top of the stairs and then, out of the darkness at the bottom of the stairs we hear “Oh, no”

/He was fine, other than some bruises. Kept him out of school the next day, talked his way into his LL game that night, where he hit 2 HRs, and I stress they were LL HRs, where he managed to hit the ball out of the infield, then ran around the bases while a circus broke out behind him.
Horatio Cornblower

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I remember being woken up to a gigantic BANG in the middle of night. Turns out a school mate’s dad about half a mile away was cooking meth in their basement and made a mistake.

The lot was a crater, the houses on all sides were half destroyed, and somehow that classmate survived the blast and was found two blocks away walking in a daze in his undies.

Gotta love Billings, MT.
Mr. Ayo

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Happy 65th birthday [June 17th], DJ Taj! Woohoo, Medicare! And thank you for always being 3 months older than me. That’s just one of the millions reasons why you are my favorite. Don’t tell the others.

Gumbygirl

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THESE EDMONTON OILERS I CALL THEM THE ENGLISH FOOTBALL TEAM BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN IT ISN’T COMING HOME
Senor Weaselo

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Found some kitchenware for Balls

Doktor Zymm

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If you’ve been drinking, and you’re laying on the floor, eating granola – you’re gonna find alot of granola on the floor the morning after. Just a public service announcement.
jjfozz

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/New company wants our protein business

Sales Rep” “We carry almost everything.”

Me: “Send me a product listing please.”

Sales Rep: “No prob.”

Me: [leafing through their 38 page list of products] “Water Buffalo striploins?”

Sales Rep: “When available? Yes.”

Me: [to myself] “Holy Shit!”
scotchnaut

What cuts of human do they sell?
SonOfSpam

Humans aren’t in season in early summer. [smgdh…]
scotchnaut

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According to the site, I have written 1080 posts, 1079 of which have been published (1080 is Saturday night’s Open Thread)

That is insane to me. I honestly never thought that I would ever do such a thing.

Thanks for reading and helping me accomplish something I never thought I would.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Happy Anniversary DFO! There truly isn’t a finer place for molestation and trisomy jokes.
Don T

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I’ve only been here 6 years, but I’m grateful every damn day for all of yinz! I think I told you that I was a Deadspin refugee, and Gumby was on KSK for awhile, but he could never remember what name he used. I don’t think he hung out there much. Also, tWBS is not our only casualty, we also lost the lovely Viva La Tabula Rasa. I miss them both, and all of the others who have dropped off along the way, especially Moosemas, the Meme King!
Gumbygirl

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I got a good chuckle from this

Brocky

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Ciao Tutti

2Pack

Reminds me of this.

Jimbo

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Why do people think it’s ok to bring their dogs everywhere? I love dogs. I have a dog. But fucking hell, I don’t bring her into a Foot Locker or whatever. Fucking millenials.
jjfozz

Same category as the shitheads who bring their kids into a bar and then scold people for drinking and using language like ‘shitheads’

Doktor Zymm

Preach, Dok.


If you don’t want me saying “fuck” in front of your kids, then don’t bring your fucking kids into a fucking bar.
BeefReeferLives

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Derp Fuhrer has gone too far!

Redshirt

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I was under the impression that Ayo favored Costco vodka and Tito’s over Stoli. I have no idea how I got this impression.

Very much appreciate the correct apostrophe usage in this post!
Doktor Zymm

I was riffing/referencing from, “Stella! Stella!”.*


*oh look, he’s explaining his jokes so that they’re more funny
scotchnaut

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Fun fact: “Do you want to measure my Imperial unit?” was one of Lord Mountbatten’s favoUrite pickup lines when he was Governor-General of India
Doktor Zymm

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Don T

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Y’all

I am le tired. It has been 3+ months of just pure exhaustion.

Moving into our forever home and everything that goes in to making it ours has been fucking draining. I am so glad I never have to move again.
https://imgur.com/gallery/i-am-le-tired-kZAQ7
ThePirateSloth

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When I picked up my car at the airport last night the tire low air warning light was on. No visibly flat tires so I still drove home, albiet slowly. Now I’m being grumpy about having to get out of bed 15 minutes early to go check and top up my tire pressure before driving to the barn this morning. Why did the asshole that broke into my car 3 years ago have to take my cheap portable air compressor?
Doktor Zymm

One of the many excellent things about cats is how adorable they are while grumpy!
Doktor Zymm

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Who’s looks more drunk right now: Hegseth or Rubio?
Redshirt

JJ Fozz
Mr. Ayo

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World War I: Started with an assassin’s bullet.
World War II: Started with a Fascist Dictator’s ambition for revenge.
World War III: Started with a typo-filled social media post.
Redshirt

Gavrilo Princep thought he had missed his chance, but then stumbled out of the pub where he was drinking to find the royal carriage had gotten lost and ended up RIGHT THERE


Hitler was a shitty painter that even his fellow soldiers in WW1 didn’t like and who was hopped up on speedballs most of the time


So turns out all the WWs were started by dumbasses bumbling where anyone with two brain cells to rub together would fear to tread
Doktor Zymm

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Iran now, this is going to go well. jfc
Jimbo

He said at the dinner he would have a deal at the end of the week. Only Starmer called him out on it saying that he said that for Gaza, and the Ukraine before he was elected.
litre_cola

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In an hilarious turn of events, I am forced to finish today’s meal using…

A crockpot.

I’ll tell you all about it in 3 weeks.
yeah right

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Release the Cubs.

Wait. No! Put some pants on Clark!
Sharkbait

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That was my fat finger causing the star ranking to drop.

Blame the Yinzer. Make him go back to the phones, anyway.
WCS

Hi, 911?
I’d like to report a hate crime. Someone didn’t 5 star pulled pork.
Damn kids these days
Game Time Decision

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Can He Be More Canadian Update:

Youngest Skull Fracture Boy went to the local Poutine Fest and tried something from at least 10(!) food trucks.

/this morning

YSFB: “I don’t feel very good today.”

Me: “I think it’s because your bloodstream is 50% sodium.”

YSFB: “That makes sense.”
scotchnaut

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Doktor Zymm

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We can only aspire to someday have a set of archives as deep and as comprehensive as The Onion’s:
https://theonion.com/shaq-misses-entire-second-half-with-pulled-pork-sandwic-1819571266/
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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In my, last time I will do this, pre retirement journey, I head to Rome tomorrow. Not looking forward to the mobs of tourists.

2Pack

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So FIFA is corrupt. .

Jimbo

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Did a fucking serious walk today. Probably a tad over 6 miles. They had my regular walking path closed with an event so I parked by the fishing fleet and walked to the Vincent Thomas bridge and back.
Beautiful weather but it kicked my ass.

Fucking glorious.
yeah right

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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