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Onward, Perverts! Open Thread

King Hippo

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Some really beautiful squadrons (Iceland, Belgium) have sadly gone home.  But others remain, lining up to eventually be throttled by Spain.

Speaking of Spain, they finally quit playing with their Italian food yesterday, so Nor-vay gets a pass.  Neutral Milk Hotel will instead be Spain’s quarterfinal victim.  Our Valkyries get Italy, who they should handle easily enough.

Today?  There ain’t no drama.  Sweden play Germany, and each side are through.  Sverge get the 1 seed with a Draw, because of goal differential.  But does one REALLY care whether one gets England, as opposed to Lady Frogger/Lady Dustbins?  I think not.

So really, all viewing this weekend is really just letting your pervert flag fly.  Have at it, Imaginarium.

I mean, look at that cutie pie pic of Ms. Bonmati.  You would hardly expect her to be I am death, destroyer of worlds (and backlines PHRASING) – but that’s exactly what she is.  Stone.  Cold.  KILLA.

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scotchnaut

OMFG! Some major media outlets in Canada are finally, sorta, kinda getting it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St7DLt-SMRw

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Doktor Zymm

I think the next creative idea for an international competition should involve at least 2 teams from each country made up entirely of people from regions that hate each other

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Horatio Cornblower

The Irish will clean up.

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King Hippo

I forgot to rant about this earlier, when Balls noted Ms. Bonmati’s Barca fleece.

It has driven me to distraction how shittily Prem clubs market their apparel. I don’t want to buy a “kit” and be a walking billboard. But I’d buy the shit out of a nice, quarter-zip Royal (Mersey) Blue, comfy fleece with the badge in the corner. Do they sell that, officially or licensed through Amazon? FUCK AND NO.

Same thing with a scarf. I know matchday fans love them, and they have heritage. But I’m looking for something simple I can wear on a run, in front of the TV (for luck obvs), or at the grocery store.

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ballsofsteelandfury

DHGate used to be your friend. Litre will need to weigh in as to whether they are still a good option.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, China has everything you want. Usually for just $10!

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Horatio Cornblower

That’s Vietnam, Rikki.

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Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I was thinking the other day how nice it is not to be surrounded by ads when somewhere like Wrigley, but then I counted and there are like 20 ads. So it’s really just an indication of how blatant the ads are at most sporting events, or in everyday life for that matter.

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Redshirt

My team is going to lose a series to a team 22-72 (2-8 when converted to Football record). Preseason cannot come soon enough.

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Mr. Ayo

Careful what you wish for, sir.

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King Hippo

Seeing that one rando on the 4th string make some cool plays…really does make one briefly feel that anything is possible.

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Redshirt

There’s always that 9th string WR that busts a punt return TD in the last quarter of the last game that makes fans forget they are watching a worthless game that doesn’t count.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Btw, “Onward, Perverts!” has got to be one of the greatest post titles ever on this site.

Last edited 9 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
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Redshirt

“Incels Assemble” was already taken by The Trump Organization.

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King Hippo

Ah live to serve, Ballsy. Ah surely does.

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JustStopDude

Since Poland is playing, winning 3-2.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witold_Pilecki

Unreal. James Bond has no idea. And he got handled over to the Soviets by the British to immediately get executed for being too bad ass.

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JustStopDude

Hard cunt that intentionally got arrested to a death camp.

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Allies didnt believe his report. So he escaped from London, intentionally faked being Jewish a second time to get arrested. Got a SECOND tattoo in Auschwitz, survived round two in the death camps, only for the Allies to hand him over to torture and death by the soviets in ’47.

I believe the term is “proper, hard cunt”.

His grandkids had no idea what he did until the fall of communism in Poland. Until then they face repression for their father being an enemy of the state.

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scotchnaut

“Swedish female soccer players adjusting their ponytails during the late 1960’s “Roughie” film genre.”*

*Rule 34? You’re my bitch!

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scotchnaut

I’M NOT GONNA LIE-SWEDISH WOMEN CONQUERING GERMANY IN 2025 IS ONE OF THE BEST HARRY TURTLEDOVE BOOKS EVER!

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scotchnaut

@horatio Sentences that should be served by actors for taking certain roles/athletes for signing certain contracts/agreeing to certain trades.

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Horatio Cornblower

What exactly are we drafting here? The sentence we feel they should serve? Or actors who shouldn’t have taken roles? Or Mike Trout for signing long-term with the Angels?

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scotchnaut

It is raining so hard here that the nanobots from SkyNet aren’t controlling my actions, they’re just criticizing my wardrobe choices.

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JustStopDude

As long as you are not Will Stancil, you should not be raped.

https://youtu.be/rIo0PpAvKZM?si=-0qNiv72Wcen-YSS

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

With Trump threatening Rosie O’Donnell’s citizenship, I wonder if ICE arrests Mike Francesa in a case of mistaken identity.

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scotchnaut

I think she should be exiled for six months (I’m willing to hear contrary arguments) for her work in “Exit To Eden”.

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Redshirt

I’m am oddly sympathetic towards Trump regarding O’Donnell, but stripping her citizenship seems a bit too much. Maybe banishing her to only US Territories?

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ThurberHerder

Excuse me but Puerto Rico has suffered enough already

Last edited 9 months ago by ThurberHerder
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Redshirt

Johnston Atoll, I’m afraid you’re gonna have to take one for the team.

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ThurberHerder

She’s surprised no one wants to see her on bikini atoll

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ballsofsteelandfury

comment image?v=1730727173

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Redshirt

.

i-like-men-now-i-like-men
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yeah right

Had such a simple morning planned. Go to the grocery store. Come home. Go for a walk, that type of thing.

Get in the car, low tire pressure. Nail in rear passenger side tire.
Sitting at the tire place now.

I’m thinking the walk is off and beers are in order.

This is the 2nd time in like 6 months with the shit on the tire deal.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Should be a nice cheap plug job, at least. There’s a tire shop near us that actually does those for free.

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yeah right

This should be free. I bought the tires here and they do a nice job. I’m in the bay now.

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yeah right

Holy shit. Dude just came in, had an appointment for 4 new tires and an alignment.

1200 something bucks.
Holy Jesus.

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Gumbygirl

I bought four new ones a few years ago, it was about that much.

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2Pack

Yeah I paid 850 euros last year for 4 new ones, best quality they carried, with the alignment.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

God bless Costco.

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yeah right

Yep. It was all gratis.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Was hoping for au gratin, but that works too.

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2Pack

I have had two periods like that in the past 10-15 year’s. Getting 2 or 3 flats from nails or screws over a few weeks.

Looks for construction sites along your usual routes.

Last edited 9 months ago by 2Pack
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Horatio Cornblower

“2 periods? 10-15? Got a phone number for that chick?”

-M. Gaetz

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2Pack

Hey Buddy I got you some help…

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ballsofsteelandfury

Not to nit pick, but that hand print really should be rotated about 150 degrees clockwise.

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Doktor Zymm

You were visited by the horrible fairy that just sprinkles sharp pieces of metal over the roads of California. I drove all up and down the east coast for 11 years, and only one road hazard damaged a tire in such a way that it was easily patched. I’ve lived in California for 8 years now and I’ve had THREE tires completely destroyed by fucking caltrops dropping off the back of trucks or some shit.

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blaxabbath

This hurts me to read.

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2Pack

…

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yeah right

This is a very, very stupid country.

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2Pack

I wonder how many accidents were caused by people trying to figure that sign out. With locals familiar with the intersection laying on their horns behind them.

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Redshirt

I have seen a tractor trailer attempting a u-turn on a four lane road. It’s always a noteworthy moment when all you can do is just look and reflexively say “…the fuck?!” under your breath.

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blaxabbath

Everything I know about driving, I learned from Aesops Fables.

https://read.gov/aesop/141.html

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SonOfSpam

I realize now that I’m a lion in a beer pitcher situation.

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scotchnaut

If you like your humor dry I can’t rec this series enough. And if it warms your bum, there’s 10 seasons of it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9PtL9cMJ1w

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[likes and subscribes] – Ben Shapiro

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blaxabbath

Epstein files covered up by the head of the DOJ.

Hippo reinvigorated to let his pervert flag fly.

SOME PEOPLE SAY this might be something the IRS needs to look into…because only the wealthiest people went and banged those children.

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King Hippo

REMINDER! How do you know when it’s bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?

The big hand is over the little hand.

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Redshirt

What is this world coming to when you can’t trust a childlike musical genius and the influential rich man who owns a sex island?

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King Hippo

inorite????

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Redshirt

Cincinnati Sports Fans (Self-Deprecating Interpretation)

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JustStopDude

Woke up early to go to the rest site, only to learn they weren’t ready. Fun.

Still need to get back to SLC so I can then get back to my house in VA to grab shit and return. SLC is nice. Kind of sucks to go from a 3 bedroom house to a tiny apartment that somehow costs 2.5 times what my mortgage payment was.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t realize that rents in SLC would be that high, but I guess it’s like that in *any* city.

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blaxabbath

You’ll understand in 6 months when every coed wants to bang you just because of the name on your building, Mr Cool Guy.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Coeds don’t “bang” in Utah, they “soak”.

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Gumbygirl

I downsized by half in my latest move. My advice is, let it go! You can always buy more shit later, but you absolutely can not stuff 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

First 6-0 6-0 finish in a Wimbledon final in over a hundred years (1914).

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Mr. Ayo

Bagels for everyone!

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King Hippo

they should make her forfeit the silver medal prize moneys

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Horatio Cornblower

Shit, I could have done that.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We went out to what was supposed to be an 80’s dance thing last night (left after a half hour because the DJ was making very, very bad choices) and caught the last song of this artist/band’s set. I wish we’d gotten to see more.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmIKsS-oRT4

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Mr. Ayo

Anisimova shouldn’t have worn all white today if she’s going to shit her pants like this.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This match is going to be over before the butter has time to melt onto my crumpets.

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scotchnaut

On the other hand, white is a great coloUr to wear if you’re going to surrender as easily as she did.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The thing I like best about Iga Swiatek is that she’s a very inventive player. Among her inventions are the solar flashlight, the glass hammer, fireproof matches…

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WCS

dehydrated water (patent pending)

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SonOfSpam

The submarine screen door?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Please note she’s wearing a Barcelona top ..

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King Hippo

y wearing it well tambien

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2Pack

Ciao Hippo. Ya think Chelsea stands a chance tomorrow?

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King Hippo

I do not, but imagine the swampass weather might be sommet of a leveling factoUr.

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litre_cola

Fuck Chelsea with the rustiest screwdriver and then fuck them again.

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2Pack

Well… OK then….
/ puts in all on PSG…

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Don T

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This post is an excellent reminder that you should regularly clean your balls.

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