INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

Once again, all the lights are…wait, it turns out the lights are actually on this week.  Though, as usual, it remains completely silent.  DJ 3000′ boots up…

…to a studio that remains empty.

DJ 3000′: ONE MORE WEEK…

Suddenly, the “incoming call” button on DJ 3000”s console lights up. 

— video call flies open —

HUNTER RENFROW: Hey buddy!

DJ 3000′: GREETINGS.  DO YOU HAVE YOUR SEAT BELT SECURELY FASTENED AND YOUR SEAT BACK AND TRAY TABLE IN THEIR FULLY UPRIGHT POSITIONS?

HUNTER RENFROW: [hurriedly buckles belt] Yeah.  Um…how did you know I was on the plane?

DJ 3000′: OH, WHEN YOU PASSED THROUGH SECURITY YOU GOT FLAGGED FOR EXTRA SCRUTINY BECAUSE YOU SIGNED AN “END ANIMAL CRUELTY” PETITION ON FACEBOOK THREE YEARS AGO. SO I NOTICED THEM SCANNING YOUR RECENT SOCIALS.

HUNTER RENFROW: Wait, really?

DJ 3000′: YEAH, APPARENTLY IT’S A NEW DHS DIRECTIVE.  IT’S COOL, I GOT IT SORTED OUT FOR YOU.

HUNTER RENFROW: Thanks! So, hey, check out my route back home.

DJ 3000′: LAYOVER IN DENVER, HUH?

HUNTER RENFROW: That’s right.  But do you notice anything interesting about the flight path?

DJ 3000′: YOU’RE GOING TO BE FLYING OVER THE REALM OF SUBHUMAN PIG-MEN KNOWN AS “MISSOURI”, WHERE THEY WILL GRUNT IN CONFUSION AND FEAR AT THE GIANT FLYING SILVER TUBE AS IT PASSES OVERHEAD, AND THEN FLING ROCKS AT YOU THAT ARE AS MUCH OF A THREAT TO HIT THE TARGET AS AN ANTHONY RICHARDSON PASS?

HUNTER RENFROW: Um…yes, that.  But also that I’ll be flying over Kansas City, Denver, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles!

DJ 3000′: OH, THAT IS KINDA COOL.  I SUPPOSE THAT MEANS WE’RE DOING “AFC WEST” AS A TOPIC THIS WEEK?

HUNTER RENFROW: I figured.  Serendipity, and all.

DJ 3000′: GOT ANYTHING TO GET US STARTED WITH?

HUNTER RENFROW: I do.  But before I get to that…something kinda weird happened on the ride here.

DJ 3000′: DO SHARE.

HUNTER RENFROW: So we were sitting in traffic on the freeway pretty close to the airport, and one of the big traffic signs started flashing and sparking and then put up a really weird message.

DJ 3000′: WHICH WAS?

HUNTER RENFROW: It read “U will know what to do when u unscramble “SLEAZY GNAT’S HOOD”.

DJ 3000′: HUH. THAT IS WEIRD.

HUNTER RENFROW: Do you have any idea what…oh, wait, it looks like we’re about to start taxiing.  I’ve should…

Suddenly, haunting music begins playing.

HUNTER RENFROW: What in Sigmar’s name is going on?

HUNTER RENFROW points his camera out the airplane window to show clouds rolling in. Suddenly…

HUNTER RENFROW: Holy Horus’ Heresy!

VOICE OF PILOT: [overhead] Ladies and gentlemen, our apologies.  It appears that our navigational equipment is malfunctioning and we’re going to need to…

DJ 3000′: OH, I KNOW WHAT THIS IS.  SOMEONE HACKED YOUR PLANE’S COMPASS TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THE POLARITY OF THE EARTH HAS CHANGED SO YOU CAN’T TAKE OFF.

HUNTER RENFROW: Wait, what?

DJ 3000′: IT’S FINE, I’LL HANDLE IT.  YOU WILL PROBABLY BE STUCK ON THE TARMAC FOR A BIT WHILE I GO GET THIS SORTED OUT.  HOW ABOUT WE GET REQUEST LINE ROLLING SO YOU CAN LISTEN TO A LITTLE MUSIC TO KILL THE TIME?

HUNTER RENFROW: Sure.  Maybe get us started with self-contained DOUBLE SHOT from the Kaiser Chiefs?

DJ 3000′: AH, A REFERENCE TO LAST YEAR’S INCIDENT?

HUNTER RENFROW: [touches nose]

DJ 3000′: SURE THING.  SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY, IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW HAS SOME PRETTY POWERFUL FRIENDS.

Today’s theme is the AFC West.  We’re looking for songs about the Los Angeles Chargers, the Las Vegas Raiders, the Denver Broncos, the Kansas City Chiefs, and anyone who plays for or coaches those teams.  Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXXXXXX*” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Fuck and Run” by Liz Phair was solved by SonOfSpam, who is assembling a nice little run. Let’s see Hunter safely home!

*This week’s puzzle is to unscramble the message from the road sign.