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Sweet Sixteen (Minus 4 Byes) Saturday Thread

King Hippo

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That’s right, y’all all enjoyed Roll Damn Tide and Steerfuckers North last night, we get THREE MOAR this evening.  After the Prem sides scramble about this morning (USA/NBC/Peacock), with varying degrees of panic (from dudes missing due to the Afrikan Euros).

I’m not sure Everton even have a midfield for the next few weeks, and draw the short straw of facing the King’s Afrikan Water Pistols in the spotlight (12:30, NBC).  YIKES.  10 behind the ball it is.

10 Miami-FL (+3) at 7 Bonfire Cult (Noon, ESPN/ABC)

Realistically, the only game of the day that needs watching.  Which is good, since the NFL swoops in anyway (Scotchy will have ya for that coverage).  But this could be a decent matchup, with TAMU leaking a bit of oil down the stretch, and Da U playing with house money.  Though it would make Notre Dame apologists even angrier if the Canes got pole-axed.  So…GIG ‘EM!! Predicion – Cult 35, Stormy 24

11 Tulane (+17.5) at 6 Johnny Reb (3:30, TNT)

I would kind of look forward to this, if not for the existing data point (ie, Ole Miss walloped them 45-10 in the regular season).  Let’s just see how discombobulated Johnny Reb’s offensing unit looks.  That’s the side of the ball with the “on loan from Kiffin’s Kajun Kast” staffers.  Of course, I suspect most of the Green Wave staff are already thinking of Gator matters themselves.  Welcome to JV life in the 2020s.  Predicion – Rebs 38, Surf Conditions 17

12 James Madison (+20.5) at 5 Oregon (7:30, TNT)

I’d say this’un has a better chance to be a reasonable margin of victory.  But that’s because the Quackers’ offense is mid at best.  And apparently the Fightin’ Cucks have some talent on defense.  However…the Oregon defense DOES have NFL-calibre talent, and could keep the clean sheet here.  But the main story has to be JMU’s most notable almunus, one jjfozz.  Predicion – Ducks 24, Cucks 6

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scotchnaut

next thread is up and running

1
Mr. Ayo

3 Montana at 2 Montana St (3pm, ABC)
Casuals will say this is the Brawl of the Wild. But that’s not true. That moniker is reserved for the regular season and was only used starting in 1997. There’s been 124 meetings between these two. But today is special. Because today is the first time these two meet in the playoffs, with everything on the line. The winner of this fixture will be FCS champion. Tune in now and enjoy!
Prediction – Best Game of the day, Cats 35, Griz Eat Shit

4
SonOfSpam

grizzlies playing like jizzlies, is that anything?

2
Gatoraids

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1
King Hippo

This is the time on Sprockets when we nap.

0
Mr. Ayo

False. The big game is nigh. Full attention soldier.

0
King Hippo

Very stupid game ends very stupidly. RUN THE DAMNED BALL, you had plenty of time and teh DL was tired.

3
Gatoraids

now the daring option is for Miami to attempt the PAT instead of 2

0
Horatio Cornblower

UConn women are up 25 against #11 Iowa, in Iowa.

Barring injury the only reason to have the women’s tournament is to see who the second best team is.

0
herodotus450

Hockey game just ended (and it started after this “football” game) with a higher combined score than this “football” game.

2
Gatoraids

was thinking this was a nice elaborate preparation for the Winter Classic in Miami

1
BeefReeferLives

If this A&M / Florida tilt gets any livelier, a funeral’s going to break out…

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2
Mr. Ayo

JV DOINK!

1
BeefReeferLives

Shank’lar’s cup overfloweth

0
Doktor Zymm

https://www.bbc.com/sport/boxing/articles/cde6jyl1gneo

This is a pretty good article about the whole Jake Paul debacle

0
Gatoraids

is it an obituary?

0
Doktor Zymm

Kind of, but for boxing
“Joshua-Paul will not be the last of its kind. And if boxing wants to change the direction of travel, it may be time to rewrite the script.

But in the face of competition from entertainment-based contests like this, and boxing’s inability to put on the key fights people want to see – like Joshua v Fury in their prime – only time will tell if more repeats are served up rather than new blockbusters.”

0
Doktor Zymm

The ONLY reason the NFL and other sports organizations don’t pull shit like this is because they recognize that over the long-term their revenue depends on putting out a quality product. The organization’s job is to maintain that quality and prevent owners from cashing in short term and screwing everyone else.

2
Gatoraids

do feel they are getting closer to flushing that idea with all the gambling ads and fragmentation of their streaming viewing experience

2
King Hippo

yeah, they are REALLY pushing the envelope with RedZone fuckery

Last edited 4 months ago by King Hippo
0
Horatio Cornblower

Look, it’s absolutely a complete sham, but I will pay good money to watch Jake Paul get his jaw broken.

Mostly because I already pay for Netflix. If I didn’t I’d probably just find a stream somewhere.

0
Gatoraids

this lack of scoring is going to make Uncle Luke enter the transfer portal

0
WCS

2-0 in triple overtime?

0
Brick Meathook

I had a breakfast meet-up with a friend on Capitol Hill this morning. Riding back home to Arlington I was shocked by how many buildings on Constitution Avenue now have “Donald J Trump” added to their names, including the Kennedy Center. The Kennedy Center! This cocksucker renamed the Kennedy Center for himself.

3
Gatoraids

The Donald J Trump Experience coming to Lowratio League

2
BeefReeferLives

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2
Gatoraids

appreciate McDaniel helping the Canes with their first half offensive plan but really should turn his talents towards the Ewers experience

0
WCS

Does anyone actually care about DA U in Miami?

0
Gatoraids

yes our nostalgia lingers as long doesnt involve showing up for games

4
WCS

Just like Pitt football!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Eat shit, Pitt!

0
King Hippo

Sobering thought – this was supposed to be the GOOD matchup of the day…

1
Gatoraids

kinda pointing to unsobering early than intended

2
Gatoraids

even Shank’lar thinks this is a bit much

4
Mr. Ayo

This game is like me, no scoring

9
King Hippo

The locals locked up all the purty cattle before you touched down in Bozeman?

3
King Hippo

(also, give us that GAME PREVIEW or we’uns all gon’ root for the Griz-izzle!)

0
Mr. Ayo

They’re doing a 2 HOUR pregame show here. Wild!

0
King Hippo

And this helps teh Clubhouse HOW EXACTLY smgdh

1
2Pack

We’d all like to see a scoreless tie going into overtime… right?

2
Mr. Ayo

I don’t think we have a choice.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is what happens when the government stops being in charge of defense. It creates a void that the woke universities step in and fill.

3
King Hippo

Why we want aTm to win, part 2…

Just IMAGINE how that Texas wind can help their celebratory fires spread!

2
Gatoraids

shit play is part of the ATM experience

2
King Hippo

why one can NEVAR go that way smgdh

0
herodotus450

I haven’t seen two offenses this anemic since the the Fourth Royal Cavalry Brigade ran out of beef rations against the vegetarian tribesmen of East Upper Punjab

14
Jimbo

.

dm
11
King Hippo

PRO TIP – If you can’t successfully kick placements, maybe coach your team with that shit in mind.

1
King Hippo

Then again, Da U might as well be coached by a mildly retmentally challenged puppy.

0
Gatoraids

Da Under sponsored by DraftKings

1
King Hippo

They should just shorten their ads to a blonde lady shouting “BET, you pussy. NOW!!”

3
Gatoraids

someone trying to bring back House of Payne reruns

0
Senor Weaselo

Make a redhead and we may be enticed

/Single Weaselo is back to going to pre-type
//Or mousy bookish brunette

Last edited 4 months ago by Senor Weaselo
3
yeah right

Atta boy!

2
Doktor Zymm

I saw Special Needs Puppy play at CBGB in ’01

5
King Hippo

Bonfire Cult are tight.

/insert vajayjay or anal-based joke here

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh, this happened last night. I wish Anthony Joshua hadn’t pulled this punch that finished the fight, but following a clearly terrified Paul around the ring for six rounds before breaking his jaw is pretty good too.

1000001719
6
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And as much as I detest Jake Paul, I do have to give him a small measure of respect for getting into the ring against a real fighter and taking his medicine.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And speaking of taking your medicine, I finally got around to watching Dr. Sleep yesterday and I loved it. It did a really good job of reconnecting the movie verson of The Shining to the subsequent book story. Bonus fun was that the actor playing Jack Torrance was Elliott from E.T.!

0
Doktor Zymm

Why?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Because he didn’t need to put himself in danger – he could have kept scheduling fights against, say, a hologram of Salvador Sanchez and printing pallets worth of money doing so.

0
Doktor Zymm

So if he walked out into traffic you would respect him for that too? Either he believes his own bullshit, in which case he didn’t think he would be in danger, or he’s just getting his ass beat to fulfill his fucked up idea of masculinity and hijacking an entire sport to enable that. I have no respect for either.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have his antics really hijacked the entire sport of boxing? It seems like it had long since devolved into corrupt wreckage well before he arrived on the scene.

2
King Hippo

It’s just part of Right Wing Cultural Identity now, and every bit of that is kayfabe.

1
Doktor Zymm

Sure, but a lot sports are like that nowadays, and largely because of people like him.

1
Senor Weaselo

What did he think would happen? He’s not a heavyweight and he’s going in there against a current top-5 heavyweight?

AJ did the minimum for the full check and to not commit murder, and then said “Now get outta here.”

1
Redshirt

That fight was six rounds of Joshua debating if he’d be charged with manslaughter if he didn’t pull his punch. He erred on the side of caution.

5
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Me, evaluating the internet’s recommendations for how to lower my cholesterol levels (artist’s conception):

comment image

4
Doktor Zymm

I think the current recommendations for that from MAHA are heroin and stealing blood from children

4
Horatio Cornblower

I have two children!

3
ArmedandHammered

They need to be fresh and young, now you know why old ladies ask “when are you going to start having children?”

1
WCS

What happens if Da U wins, 38-13 or so?

0
ballsofsteelandfury

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1
herodotus450

I reckon they’d move on to the next round

2
WCS

BIG if true

1
Redshirt

That would support my theory the universe hates me.

1
King Hippo

Luther Campbell sings heeeeeeyyyyyy, we want some pusssss-ay!!! on live TV?

5
Doktor Zymm

From an article about gender seperation in golf:
“Flexibility: Men are typically less flexible than women, which can give them an advantage in terms of hitting shots from awkward positions.”
Seriously?? LOL

1
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

What do you mean men never admit when they are wrong or have a weakness?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

That sentence makes no sense.

0
herodotus450

Im guessing an English major got involved to ensure that “them” refers to “women,” the most recent noun in the sentence, thus making it confusing.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

That English major clearly did not go to an Ivy…

0
Doktor Zymm

I don’t think so, it was part of a list that all used the same sentence pattern. Another item: “Speed: Men are typically faster than women, which can give them an advantage in terms of running the course and getting up and down from the green.”

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Whoever wrote that article doesn’t know shit about English composition or golf.

Last edited 4 months ago by ballsofsteelandfury
1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They probably don’t know anything about thermodymanics either.

(to be fair, most people don’t)

1
Senor Weaselo

But we obey those laws in this house!

1
ArmedandHammered

Well, don’t blame the AI for the dataset it was trained on.

1
Doktor Zymm

It’s not dated, so it might just be AI slop

4
scotchnaut

It’s stormin’ like a Mormon out there! But I do need some Bloody Caesar/Mary fixins so off I go.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Assuming the weather includes heavy rain, we also would have accepted “soakin’ like a Mormon”.

2
ArmedandHammered

Said no one ever.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone on Reddit described the 11-6 matchup as “Two Lane vs. No Lane”.

1
Fronkenshteen

[watches West Ham give up another opening goal in under 5 minutes]

[gives up]

[re-ups Paramount+ subscription indefinitely]

[sobs quietly under covers]

6
King Hippo

as one DOES!

0
Doktor Zymm

https://www.history.com/videos/drunk-fans-create-baseball-chaos

I feel like one of the big downsides of the internet is that it lets companies discover their obviously horrible ideas ahead of time so they have plenty of time to change them into something way less spectacular

1
yeah right

I remember that! Life magazine had a story and a pictorial.

1
Doktor Zymm

On the flip side, one of the great things about the internet is that I can probably find an archived copy of that! Gonna go search now

1
yeah right

While you’re at it look up Disco Demolition at Comiskey Field. We almost went to that one and watched it live on TV.

Last edited 4 months ago by yeah right
1
Doktor Zymm

That’s in the video too! Do you wish you had gone?

1
yeah right

Oh hell yes. We saw the DJ, Steve Dahl open a concert in Rockford with his band the Teenage Radiation.

We were banner carriers in the anti- disco movement.

1
yeah right

Thing is, that was a golden age for music. Metal was just gearing up, punk was in it’s hey day and hard-core was starting up in LA.

Not to mention the first toddling steps of new wave.

So much better shit to listen to than a 14 minute extended disco version of a Donna Summer song.

Last edited 4 months ago by yeah right
0
Doktor Zymm

Hm, or not. Although there is quite a lot of modern 10 cent beer night merchandise available for sale

0
Fronkenshteen

FOZZ WENT TO JMU??? Holy shit! I’ve been living right here (around) Harrisonburg since 1994. This has to be mind-blowing for him.

3
King Hippo

We learned it during a recent late night Bourble session. You still Uber-ing drunk coeds around town? When not hiding from Rum Ham obvs.

0
Fronkenshteen

Not since I got the teaching gig. Twas a simple life, but oy! the hours!

5
Redshirt

Church turns ‘Frosty the Snowman’ into AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’ — and the internet can’t look away

Say what you want about it, 2025 is going out the way it went in.

2
2Pack

I have been an AC/DC fan since 1978, it was a barracks standard. Wifey could not figure them (or me for that matter) out for years. But a few years ago she found Thunderstruck and TNT as a couple of her stand by workout tunes. It takes me a while sometimes… but I eventually wear ’em down…

2
Horatio Cornblower

Apparently they’re still touring.

Not quite at the top of their game.

2
2Pack

No, they should pack it in. Why force it, you made your mark, now keep it clean.

The Scorpions and Alice Cooper are playing here in June, oldest is buggin me to go with her. Since its only 30 minutes away I’ll endure I guess.

4
blaxabbath

I’ve never seen acdc. When I found acdc, I found what I was looking for in Rock. But that was in 1999.

I thought it would be novel to use my Raiders tix perk to get good seats and finally see ACDC next year. Then I remembered GNR’s Chinese Democracy show plus every single other thing I know about people hanging around long after they’re done. I won’t contribute that kind of ‘longevity’ to these now-props.

2
2Pack

I saw them in Germany during the Monsters of Rock tour in 84, top of thier game great show.

2
blaxabbath

Yeah.

I’ll wait til my robot girlfriend can take me to experience that.

1
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