Apologies once again for the intermittent site issues. I can assure you, we’ve got top men working on a fix right now.
Anyway, we need some content today, so let’s look at the Olympics schedule! What? Like you’re gonna be working with Olympics on? Come on now. Some event spoilers below, and all times East coast
Hockey
Women:
Finland is currently playing Canada in the make-up game from the Finnish norovirus postponement. Currently 4-0 to the Canadians.
Men:
After a brief flirtation with an upset with Filip Gustavsson channeling his inner Tommy Salo, the Swedes beat the hosts 5-2 yesterday. Todays action:
Curling
Not gonna lie, the Olympics make me want to try curling. It looks like a fun sport.
Luge
Throwing oneself down a chute covered in ice, with a friend on top of you? No thanks.
Speedskating
I watched this last night. They make it look so effortless to skate a 30 miles per hour. I wish I had their stamina and skating ability.
That’s the upcoming schedule. Some skiing and snowboarding events have already taken place so they are useless for workplace distractions. Get to watching and commenting!
I’d rather walk in front of moving traffic than watch Mr. Beast’s new “show.”
I’d rather Mr. Beast walk in front of moving traffic, and you put on a show.
I will take the Spam Alternative.
Yeah, that’s much more appealing.
In fact, they’d be a-peeling Mr. Beast off the sidewalk!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhQ5678cJU8
4-1 2nd INT
Suck it, country >94% of Americans couldn’t find on a map!
Probably a little low
Yeah, the greater than sign is doing some work
4-1
WAIVE THAT OFF, YA JAGOFFS
3-1 MURICKA
That was filthy
UConn product Tage Thompson making it 3-1 USA.
THIS GUY MICHAEL KAYODE I CALL HIM JOSH ALLEN CAUSE HE CAN HUCK A FOOTBALL REALLY FAR.
2-1 You Ess Eh! You Ess Eh!
Dee was so much better looking before the plastic surgery.
Also is it me or is the stadium announcer the same guy who did the Super Bowl?
Hey, we scored as soon as I started really paying attention!
You’re welcome.
THAT one will count.
Okay, how will this one be overturned?
That was a soft call
Excellent idea btw, Sharky. Thanks.
Ok fuck it. Let’s do that hockey.
MURICA has had two goals waived off, and finished the period hitting two posts in two minutes.
1-1
MURICANS have hit two posts in two minutes.
The Latvian mob has deep pockets and far reaching resources.
BRASS BONANZA!
But enough about my testicles…
The men’s and junior’s Latvian hockey teams are sneaky good in international. How? I’ve not a clue.
FACK YOU RAFFSSS BOOOOOOOO
U-S-A U-S-A U-S-A!!
That one countsOr not
Literally eleven seconds later, Latvia (copyright 1991) ties it 1-up.
BeerGuyRob has a dog named Riga. WHO IS HE ROOTING FOR???
Canada
“Very nice, I like!” -B. Sagdiyev, a small town probably outside of Almaty
MURICKA’s second “goal” is waived off, still 1-0 USA.
Also Arsenal.
Scott Hansen on Gold Zone is like slowly detoxing from football season
oh yeah siciliano doesnt hit the same
Kid (he’s 31) from Southington, CT, currently leading the Men’s Skeleton competition.
That’s one way to get a highway rest stop named after yourself!
Happy to report that Chloe Kim: still badass
I had no idea she’s with Myles Garrett
Can’t blame him for wanting to see what winning is like
I guess the Browns rubbed off on Kim
Yeah, second place is where Myles is comfortable.
Must have something in common. Perhaps both of them have used a helmet to whale on a guy named “Mason”?
5-0 Red Leafs
5-0 Canadia final
That was a prison-bitching of a damn good Czeckistan team.
Ok luge relay is pretty fun and stupid.
Sounds cool, but passing the baton must be pretty challenging…
THIS LUGE RELAY I CALL IT A PI BETA PHI SISTER AT ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY…
Goin’ down fast?
pretty fun but took me 10 mins to realize the sound of the relay wasnt a smoke detector or UPC going off in the house tho
Nate McKinnon takes a feed from McJesus and Crosby on the PP to mkae it 4-0 Canuckia.
This is a Czechistan team that is a threat to medal every Games, but the Red Leafs are doing whatever they want to do today. Canadia is goooooooood.
McKinnon sounds Irish, not Canadian. Methinks shenanigans are afoot.
Nathan McKinnon alone and unguarded at the side of the net?
Eh, what’s the worst that could happen?
3-0 Canuckia, 2nd INT
THIS GAME I CALL IT PEACE IN OUR TIME, BECAUSE THE CZECHS ARE FUCKED!!
Bo Horvat takes a feed, creates a quasi-breakaway, and it’s 3-0 Canuckia.
A little Social Distortion playing over the loudspeaker at an Italian ice hockey arena that may or may not have been built to code?
Mitch Marner sets up Cancuckia’s second goal. How does that factor into the Leaf’s Cup chances?
2-0 CAN
as NOT a Leaf fan, it warms my cold little heart that according the talking heads, that he was the problem last year, and is doing well in Vegas, while the Leafs suck more than last year with “the problem gone”. He was never the problem
so graceful on the ice for a big guy…
I don’t want to get out of bed and take my walk. It was bad enough I had to get up and feed the cat. And I really don’t want to clean today, but this place is getting a bit grubby.
It’ll still be grubby tomorrow. You can clean then.
But def take the walk
I’ll be in Riverside tomorrow. It really has to be today, boooooo!
Grubby?
Not cute grubby, gross grubby. I need to at least redd up.
Henry: “Well, at least you have your priorities straight.”
He knows who the boss is!
Saw the other night that like 110 of The Netherland’s total ~120 total medals across all Winter Olympics are in speed skating.
John Ross and Darius Heyward-Bey were participating in the wrong event.
Curling IS super fun. There’s a bar in Chicago that has curling out back in the winter and bocce in the summer. I also did actual curling once on a team offsite, the Sharks practice facility has 4 or 5 rinks which are open to the public and one of them is a dedicated curling rink. Kinda thinking of joining a league but not sure if I’ll have time.
i do need to start skating regularly again. It’s sort of like riding a bike in that you don’t really forget the balance and technique, but you do tense up and get sore in unexpected places when you haven’t done it in a while. For skating I tense my ankles and that muscle along the outside of the shin gets sore.
I’m pretty sure what’s left of the loose slush of what was my right knee would find whatever power’s left to burst out of my leg at the sight of lacing up skates again.
Think Alien.
I would guess that skating is better than running for knees, but lateral stability might be an issue
At this bar down the street from my still single and kinda wild 2packs apartment, they had a bocce court. The local dudes would play while the boys and I, all fired up, would cheer them on. After a while we became less of a distraction and more of a local attraction. It helped that 3 nice looking sisters ran the place. The bar is still there but they no longer play and the lady running it is not nearly as good looking.
Really stunned that Tom Wilson is playing in a venue where The Hague has jurisdiction.
We’ve been trying top men for a while and the site is still wonky. Have we considered trying bottoms?
I’ll keep stating this: LEAVE LOWRATIO ALONE
He’s terrible at tech anyway.
Best case with him trying to fix the site is probably a house fire.
We’ve been trying top men and women for a while and the site is still wonky
Ain’t waiving that one off…
Celebrini deflects Makar’s shot from the point, gives Canunckia 1-0 with 5.7 left in the first.
1-0 1st INT
Maybe don’t let Macklin Celebrini stand all alone in front of the net?
That’s a good goal!
Canuckians just had a goal waived off, and find themselves on the PK instead.
Obvious trip is obvious
I love that the picture immediately after “We’ve got top men working on it” is borked.
Yup. My immediate thought was “Intentional or unintentional irony?”
If intentional: well played, sir.
If unintentional:
Well that’s on brand isn’t it?
I replaced it with a still image. Yarn have become buttholes about hotlinking stuff.
That Canada powerplay 1 is disgusting