INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

All the lights are…actually, most of the lights are out.  A single spotlight is pointed at a disco ball on the ceiling, the reflections from which faintly illuminate DJ 3000′ as it boots up…

…to a studio that has remained empty during the entire NFL season and postseason so far.  As we watch, DJ 3000”s console flashes the text "TCP-IP connection request sent..." shortly followed by "TCP-IP connection secured...receiving data..." before cutting to a security camera displaying the hallway in the science wing of the school.

HUNTER RENFROW, RACHEL DUNBARTON, and ANGIE MARTINEZ all arrive breathlessly at the door.

HUNTER RENFROW: Quick, in here!

RACHEL DUNBARTON: This is the place you said would be safe?

HUNTER: I mean, it’s got a door that locks, and I have a key, so…yeah.

HUNTER RENFROW holds up his keychain proudly. 

RACHEL: [sarcastically] Great, we’ll just hunker down and binge old episodes of Doctor Who on VHS until this all blows over. [earnestly] Cool keychain though.

HUNTER: Keyring.

RACHEL: Huh?

HUNTER: Key ring. Doctor Who is a British show, and when I bought this in that shop in Westminster the clerk was very adamant that…[glances at ANGIE MARTINEZ, who may or may not have started blushing at the mention of the class trip to London]…um, you know what, never mind. Keychain is fine.

RACHEL: No, no, don’t stop, your pedantry is really turning me on. [pretends to be in ecstacy] Oh my god…keep going, I’m almost there.

ANGIE MARTINEZ: I still don’t understand why we didn’t run to the front of the school with everyone else.

— [flashback flies open] —

DEREK CARR: [fatherly hand on HUNTER RENFROW’s shoulder] One of these days, Hunter, you’re going to be faced with a choice. Follow the herd of conformists like a lemming running off a cliff, or take those two fine young honeys somewhere private and…

[CUT TO: PRESENT]

HUNTER: [under his breath] Well I’ll be damned, how did he…?

ANGIE: Hunter?

HUNTER: [snapping back to attention] Um…

ANGIE: I mean there’s a serial killer on the loose and we’re going to go hide somewhere off on our own?

RACHEL: Hunter was right to lead us here, actually. I did my term project for sociology on school shootings and statistically speaking whoever is doing this is more likely to be a spree killer – not a serial killer – so it’s best to avoid crowds until we know more.

ANGIE MARTINEZ rolls her eyes as HUNTER RENFROW fumbles with his Dalek keyring keychain. As soon as he finds the correct key and unlocks the door, the three of them pile into the room. HUNTER RENFROW immediately locks the door behind them, but a moment later someone arrives and begins pounding on it.

RICHIE INCOGNITO: Let me in, let me in!

HUNTER: [through the locked door] Get out of here, Richie, you’ll lead him right to us!

ANGIE: Let him in, Hunter.

HUNTER: But…[gestures at shiner]

ANGIE: [quietly] I know he’s an asshole, but…he’s family.

HUNTER: [sighs] All right.

HUNTER RENFROW turns the key and pulls the door open long enough for RICHIE INCOGNITO to tumble in, then slams it back shut and locks it. RICHIE INCOGNITO hurries over and finds a large file cabinet, then pushes it across the floor and in front of the door. The other three look at him in surprise, then RACHEL DUNBARTON puts her hands together and performs a subtle golf clap. 

RICHIE INCOGNITO: Listen, I played offensive lineman in the NFL for over ten years, I do know a thing or two about how to close down a gap.

Suddenly another student arives at the door.

STUDENT: Help, help!

RICHIE: Move it along, bro. I already barricaded the door.

STUDENT: You have to help me, he’s killing everyone!

RACHEL: Who’s killing everyone?

STUDENT: I don’t know, some freak in a Shakespeare costume.

HUNTER: Is it someone you recognize? A student, or a teacher?

STUDENT: I have no idea, they’re wearing one of those steampunk things, you know, with the goggles and the long beak?

RACHEL: A plague mask?

RICHIE: [laughing derisively] Shit, it’s Dr. Fauci! Ha ha, open the door, I’ll break that pipsqueak in half with my bare hands.

ANGIE: Shut up, Richie.

RICHIE: No, I’m serious. There’s four of us, we can totally take him. I’ll grab and hold him and one of you can bash him on the head with a DVD player or something.

Outside the door there is a hissing noise, and then a grunt followed by a thud and a gurgling noise.

HUNTER: Unless the killer has a ranged weapon. Like maybe he got into the school’s archery supplies?

RICHIE: Oh.

ANGIE: Is that kid okay?

RICHIE: Uh, yeah, he’s fine. He ran off.

HUNTER: [into his phone] DJ 3000′, can you hear me?

DJ 3000′ [O/S]: YES, I CAN HEAR YOU.

HUNTER: We’re trapped in here and we need your help.

DJ 3000′ [O/S]: SURE THING, BUT WE’VE GOT A BIGGER PROBLEM RIGHT NOW.

HUNTER: Which is?

DJ 3000′ [O/S]: WE NEED A TOPIC FOR THIS WEEK’S REQUEST LINE, AND WE NEED IT NOW.

HUNTER: This is really not the time, DJ 3000′.

DJ 3000′ [O/S]: OH, BUT IT IS. I CAN SEE YOU’RE PREOCCUPIED THOUGH SO I’LL DO IT MYSELF. LET’S DO…SONGS ABOUT DOORS. AND IT MIGHT BE A TOUGH TOPIC SO BAND NAMES AND ALBUM NAMES ARE FAIR GAME FOR THIS ONE.

RICHIE INCOGNITO, who has been stacking items on top of the file cabinet to block the window into the room pauses and looks over at HUNTER RENFROW. 

RICHIE: What are you pansies going on about? Get over here and help me.

DJ 3000′ [O/S]: PANSIES? OH, THAT GIVES ME AN IDEA FOR THE FIRST SONG! LET’S OPEN THINGS UP WITH SOMETHING FROM THE POSIES.

Today’s theme is “Doors”.  We’re looking for songs having anything to do with doors and other portals.  Band and album names are fair game this week.  Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0u8L3b4(kM4n” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle of “Ice Skating at Night” by The Ocean Blue was (rather casually) solved by BeefRiverLives. Let’s get this party started – come on in!