Learning to (Re-)Love the Prem

Look, FFS.  It’s what we GOT, so we might as well make the best of it.

King’s Afrikan Water Pistols regained their mojo, at least for the North London Derby.  Handsome Mikel’s men get another, even bitterer rival this week (Chelski on Sunday, 11:30 (Peacock)), so maybe their blood stays up.  Unless City of Men falter today at Leeds (12:30, NBC), a win will be absolutely necessary.

Think of it this way – functionally, Arsenal lead by 2 (at least when you factor in games played/in hand).  They go to the The House That Pep Built on 18 April, meaning that – as things stand, they need to at least take a point from that harrowing test.  Otherwise, they need to win every weekend that City does.  You really, REALLY don’t want to have “City away” as a must-win on the old bingo card.

Are Spurs really slipping into a relegation scrap?  I still think not.  Yes, they are shit.  But they basically would have to stay on this horrid run of form (an anti-purple patch?) AND have Robins Hood play like a top half side the rest of the way AND have Rum Ham match or exceed that.  That is…not bloody likely, mate.

Still, they get Sunday morning’s TV treatment (9:00, USA), away to Fulham.  Should we dub this the Stephen Miller Derby?  I mean, there’s just SO MUCH WHITE, as far as the eye can see.

More imminently, at least we get an early bird on Saturday, even if it is just Black Cats at Cherries (7:30, USA).  And the 10:00 window is so bad that one likely has to suffer through Toffees at Geordie Arabia (Peacock) with Hippo.  No promises that Other Hippo will watch with us, though.  Guaranteed hiding.

If you are so inclined, pour one out for Villa, the Midlands cunts who collapsed down the stretch yet again (losers at Wolves – yes, WOLVES – yesterday).

Also, may this song stick in your mind like it has mine all week.  Because it FUCKS, y’all.