I know y’all missed Uncle Teddy’s face, and desperately so.
I don’t want to talk about the footy yet, so FITBAW it is. My range is quite limited.
NFC East
Predicting the NFL season is a fool’s errand, but even with that disclaimer…who the fuck knows here. Threshold question is whether the Iggles finally run short of chicken wire and duct tape to keep their circus wagon rolling. In the past, Siriani managed always to bruh his way to 11 or 12 wins, always enough in the Special Needs Division. But they have a quartered back who can’t throw across the middle, no AJ Brown to bail out prayer balls, and Saquon with lots and lots and lots of miles on him. Eventually, they’ll implode. Coinflip it starts in 2026.
If Philly does fall by the wayside, who benefits? I could see raw inertia lifting Greater Harbs and friends to 8-9. But I have a hard ceiling there, as I am not a Jaxson Dart believer. At all. He’s MOAR likely to die a Tua death than he is to establish himself as a franchise dude. Malik Nabers is…maybe not all the way on board? Plus, he’ll be missing a half-step, at minimum. I am buying shares of sk8rboi, however. He’s a certified lunatic, and will take as many carries as Harbs will allow (SPOILER – it will be lots).
Commies are a retirement home and Non-Gendered Cowpersons a lunatic asylum, but each has a near-elite QB. So there’s a chip and a chair, at least. I’ve nothing more than that.
AFC East
Buffalo is the Philadelphia of the NFC, but Brokeback is a much, much better QB. So, I think they hold onto at least 10-7, which should suffice here.
Everyone expects schedule-based regression for the P*ts, and Hippo agrees. This team is GOOD, not GREAT.
J-E-S-T can likely look forward to a 1-year reprive from last place, because the LOLfins roster is just comically bad. Should be lots of fantasy garbage time points for Malik Willis, though. If he lives long enough.
Enjoy your VOID-staring Sabado.
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