Screw You, Gary

THIS SOUTHERN STRATEGY I CALL IT PICKETT’S CHARGE, BECAUSE HOO BOY DID THAT NOT WORK OUT!!

In news you may have missed, and probably did unless your one of the estimated 6 dedicated Arizona Coyote fans, the voters of Tempe have rejected a plan for an entertainment district that would have included an arena for the Arizona Coyotes, an alleged professional hockey franchise that may, or may not, be actively involved in the NHL.

The Coyotes needed a new arena because a) they are currently sharing space with the hockey team from Arizona State, (yes, you read that correctly), and they are currently sharing space with said ASU Sun Devils because they were evicted from their previous arena in beautiful, (Editor’s Note:  Check with Blax as to accuracy of this adjective in connection with Glendale), Glendale, AZ because, among other things, they were way behind on taxes and fees.

The vote wasn’t particularly close, either, with all three propositions being voted down by at least 12 points.  If there’s one thing that seems clear it’s that Arizona does not care about NHL hockey and is not interested in being on any kind of hook to fund an arena for a team.  The rumor was that Gary Bettman was insisting on keeping a team in Arizona in the hope that Austen Matthews would someday leave Toronto and return to his desert homeland and play hockey there, boosting Gary’s dream of hockey blooming in said desert like so many cactus roses after an unexpected downpour.  (Editor’s Note:  check with Blax as to if this is even a real thing)

So whither now, Coyotes?  Look, the best outcome is probably that they relocate to Quebec.  Quebec deserves a team.  You thought I was going to say Hartford, didn’t you?  Sure. I’d love NHL hockey to come back to Hartford, and I’d probably kill a hobo to make that happen, but the last thing I need to professional hockey to come back under an ownership team even more incompetent than what the Whalers had back in the mid-90’s.  Say what you will about the Whalers front office not being able to evaluate draft talent, sign competent free agents, or not get bent over hard in franchise altering trades, as far as I know they did at least keep up with their rent payments.  Let the Quebecois deal with these idiots.

Note, however, that I said this would be the “best” outcome.  This is Gary Bettman’s NHL, so the odds of the best outcome happening are slim and none, and slim’s leaving town faster than the Coyotes will be leaving Tempe.  Seattle just got a team, so they’re out.  Same for Vegas.  Assuming the Coyotes do leave Arizona I suspect that the NHL would want to keep them west of the Mississippi for division balance reasons.  Do the Kansas City Scouts return, (with a different name and logo, of course)?  Does Gary decide that, with the A’s trying to leave Oakland for Vegas, (which seems to have issues of its own), that it’s time for the California Golden Seals to return?  Seems like just the sort of dumb idea he’d fall in love with.  There’s always Hamilton!  What if we put a team in San Diego!?  Houston is the largest city in the US without NHL hockey, (possibly because Houston is Satan’s taint), and they have some WHA history with the Aeros.

Actually, the Houston idea makes a ton of sense, so let’s rule that out immediately.

I think that the most likely outcome is the one suited to the thing Bettman does best, which is nothing good.  The Coyotes will renew their deal with ASU and come back at the next opportunity with a slightly different referendum, and they’ll keep doing so until they find some combination that the voters support.  Then there will be all sorts of “unexpected” cost overruns until the same voters wind up paying for the same deal they just recently rejected by 12+ points.

The NHL!  It’s fantastic!!