Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

Holy fuck, it’s August. Not sure where the summer has gone but it’s half over already.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal [in bed].
Albert Pine

I’m not sure about this one, I’ll go with these things are in our dreams, but who knows.

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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One day I went out there and just sitting on the main floor was the Apollo 11 command module. This was normally displayed in the main museum on The Mall downtown, heavily protected behind plexiglas; that museum was closed for restoration so here it was. Behind it is Alan Shepard’s Mercury capsule, the very first American manned spacecraft. Just sitting’ there.

Brick Meathook

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This is the one, the Bensen B-8M, looks like this particular one sold for $122 in 2014

Doktor Zymm

That looks so dinky I’m pretty sure Maestro reviewed that in a segment.

And then called it a sandwich.
Senor Weaselo

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My spam inbox got a couple of messages telling me that I could get a free “Milwaukee Power Drill.” I was wondering if I logged into Buddy Cole’s account by mistake.
Dunstan

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Sitting on a stationary jet ski and getting hurt is sorta like sitting in the waiting room of a whore house and getting busted.
2Pack

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So a couple hours ago we bought a couple of plane tickets to go to New Zealand in November. I’m gritting my teeth in anticipation of the Dr. Mrs. insisting we iron out every single other detail of the trip before the evening is complete, because, you know, November is only four months away!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There is sommet to be said for Europeans and their belief in couples taking separate vacations.
King Hippo

RTD has to go with her. She needs to use his suitcase to carry extra vacuums.
Dunstan

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I give you Exhibit A in the importance of organizational planning and how it leads to a successful end goal

/today at work

Me: “Son, I need you to focus your energies. I’ve got something in mind.”

Youngest Son: “What’s up?”

Me: “I need you to identify and drill down on a specific task that will create a fantastic end result by Friday.”

Youngest Son: “Ok…”

Me: “As the week progresses, you’re going to pile all the broken pallets into the back of your pickup so that we can have the largest bonfire we’ve ever had next weekend. This is a multi-day project-don’t shirk from your responsibilities!”

Youngest Son: [salutes] “Will do, dad. You’re the greatest!”*

*some portions of this verbal exchange may exist entirely in my head

/Son did bring home 8 pallets this evening though, this part is true
scotchnaut

It is your solemn duty to set MOAR of The Canadia ON FIRE
King Hippo

As long as it drifts towards Connecticut eventually, I’m good with it.

/sorry Lowratio, but you’re a pawn in a larger game that you can’t possibly comprehend*

*because you can’t read because you were home-schooled by Horatio
scotchnaut

*And he is short like a pawn
litre_cola

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DeSantis uninjured after being involved in car accident Tuesday morning, campaign says | CNN Politics 

I see I Can’t Believe Its Not Trump is still on the campaign trail. Waiting for a tow truck.
Redshirt

BREAKING: CAR WRECK OF A CAMPAIGN INVOLVED IN ACTUAL CAR WRECK
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

His campaign or his car?
ArmedandHammered

Yes.

We also would have accepted “Kirklands Brand Trump” or “Great Value Trump” in place of “I Can’t Believe Its Not Trump”
LemonJello

I would’ve called him Ron “New Coke” DeSantis, but that would be too close to Trump’s gimmick of nicknaming people he hates.
Redshirt

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MSNBC is reporting on Greg Abbott’s barbed wire laced floating barrier and using phrases like “digging in his heels” and “does he have a leg to stand on” and you can’t convince me they don’t know exactly what they’re doing.

There aren’t many people who deserve to spend their lives without the use of their legs, confined to a wheelchair and probably in constant pain, but Greg Abbott is definitely one of them.
Horatio Cornblower

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Don T

Gumbygirl

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I enjoy sailing, berserking, and long pillages on the beach
Doktor Zymm

Flensing the homeless behind a dumpster after 2am? I would recommend.
scotchnaut

The volcano island lair makes even more sense.
WCS

It’s not like there’s a BETTER place to put a lair. As a bonus, every once in a while someone tosses you a free virgin
Doktor Zymm

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Sinéad O’Connor, RIP. That’s a damn shame.
BugEyedBoo

She gets the chance to personally punch John Paul II now.
WCS

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I say! The local papers in Rhodesia are reporting that Kylian Mbappe has turned down the gargantuan deal from Al-Hilal! What a foolish lad — he will remember the error of his ways when he is working on a chain gang in the Upper Volta wilderness two years from now!
Cecil Rhodes

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Just saw a comment that was devastating on an article about the ‘Try that in a small town’ controversy:

“I tried jogging down the street in a small town”
–Ahmaud Arbery

I mean, DAMN.
BeefReeferLives

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“Spitse has a tendency to do this….”

/starts writing joke

No, no, that’s Rikki’s turf.
Horatio Cornblower

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Neutral crowd are booing the Americans. That’s never happened before…
scotchnaut

Sharkbait

Mr. Ayo

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Sharkbait

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So after last night’s post I am now getting targeted articles about the best books to read to get into the Warhammer universe, the way they can track everything you do online just gets scarier and scarier. Surprised I did not get ads for books for how to improve one’s writing.
ArmedandHammered

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Redshirt

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Making a hunting digestif into a guzzleable frat beverage is one of the most impressive marketing feats ever
Doktor Zymm

“From the lips of Herman Goering to the bellies of trust fund shitheads, it’s been quite a ride!”

-rejected Jager ad campaign
scotchnaut

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Since I have never been to Greenland therefore have no pertinent information, I’ll just say hi and post some of my usual bullshit. Well done Ma’am.

2Pack

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I do like the idea of an international DFO con! I’d put in a vote for Greenland!
Sharkbait

An international DFO con sounds fun, but not nearly as much as an international DFO heist!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s rob the British Museum and repatriate artifacts!
Doktor Zymm

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Then you can use the million year old ice in a cocktail afters

Sharkbait: [mixing a drink using ice from Greenland] “The Cretaceous Era is strong on the nose but afternotes from the Jurassic Period mellow out the strong shale aftertaste.”
scotchnaut

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It’s been a long, hot, humid week, and I am kicking back with a Stone Cold Steve Austin margarita, on the rocks.

3 oz. tequila, 1.5 oz. Triple Sec., 1 oz. Grand Marnier, 1.5 oz. lime juice. I bought a bottle of Rose’s lime juice to mix things up. have to say actual lime juice makes it much better. But midway through 5.5 oz of booze I likely won’t care.
Horatio Cornblower

Horatio’s arrival the in clubhouse (artist’s conception):

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Pro tip: Make sure you receive consent before taking a picture.

Mr. Ayo

That’s not her kid. It’s just a little person who figured out how to win better than Charlie Sheen ever did.
TheRevanchist

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So a while back I mentioned how I opened a couple Golden Road beers and they had nasty residue floating in them? I finally got around to calling to complain and they’re gonna send me twenty dollars!

Rikki right now (artist’s conception):

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Oh man. I am a GENIUS. Tornado warning went off, which meant I had about about 15 minutes to get dinner grilled up nicely on the barbecue. Literally the second I get inside with the food, the heavens open up. I am invincible.

Now I just have to convince God to spare my house. But I’ve had a few beers so I feel like I’m in prime negotiation mode.
The Maestro

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Bears’ Darnell Wright crushes OL conditioning test after accidentally following WR offseason running program – CBSSports.com

I’m both impressed by his athleticism but concerned by his inability to read the words “Wide” and “Receiver” or know the difference between “OL” and “WR”.
Redshirt

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Happy 70th birthday to Canadian legend Geddy Lee!

also happy 23rd to my daughter I guess
SonOfSpam

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LOS ANGELES: [is 90 degrees]

DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: [insists on making the bed the instant the dryer finishes, then irons the sheets]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want to come to RTD’s house and hide one cookie crumb somewhere in the house. She won’t know where it is, but she’ll know that there is a disturbance in the Force. The ensuing chaos will be legendary.
Horatio Cornblower

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Yeah, thumb surgery on Monday. You know it’s going to be raining oxy around here!
Mr. Ayo

Is it the whacking hand?
ballsofsteelandfury

Indeed it is. Changes are afoot.
Mr. Ayo

“Oxy and The Stranger”

is the lead single from Hippo’s debut rap album
WCS

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Turns out Wisconsin is cold even in summer

Doktor Zymm

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Ceviche marinating, steaks coming to room temp, chimmichurri made, plantains chopped for dessert, paired wines chilling. It’s joint time.
litre_cola

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Our Sunday best

2Pack

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Pouring sweat after attaching license plates to a new car.

Is it warm and humid, or am I in horrid shape? The answer is yes.
SonOfSpam

Here’s my bitchin’ ride

Gumbygirl

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Picture of my first khachapuri from when I was in Tblisi. I split it with a Turkish kid I met in front of the closed tourist information center where we were both trying to get free city maps

Doktor Zymm

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YES, Hippo is old enough to have used those “head cleaner” cassette tapes in his boombox.

YES, Hippo is also old enough that he had forgotten all about them until reading this (excellent as always) post.
King Hippo

Head Cleaner, that’s what they used to call your mother, Treb–
/get hit by the bus taking us back to the retirement castle
herodotus450

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As far as unDysCYFerable language is concerned, DonT is closing in on Hippo rite kwik!*

*apparently I’ve been infected, I mean, infectarded…
scotchnaut

Hippo-ese is a contagion. I’ve come this 👉🏼👈🏼 close to leaving a “moar” on a work email
Don T

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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