Last WAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH of the off season – Monday night thread

Per Usual: Images and links are from Lexicanum

Last Warhammer post due to pre-season cranking up bringing us closer and closer to the sweet time of year when NFL games actually count so we are going to finish up on the Orks and their technology.

So, as I have mentioned before Orks are basically mushrooms with an internal skeleton and a bad attitude that makes the mushrooms from the Mario games look really non-threatening. They are also an engineered race, created by the Old Ones to combat the Necrons.  Any technological prowness they the Orks have is from the instincts programmed into them by the Old Ones, but those instincts seem to have levels with the size of the current warband being the determining factor as to the level of technology they can create or adapt. The ones who are responsible for the Ork technology are known as the Mekboys, they use materials scavenged from the battlefield to create most of the weapons, armor, and vehicles which leads to a ramshackle and very crude look to look at.  Most of the items that they build appear that they should not work and actually most of it should not work as it actually should not work according to the laws of physics.  The only reasons that some of the items created only work due to the psychic abilities of the WAAAAGGGHHHHH.  They can also adapt any  captured or scavenged weapons or vehicles into something useable by the Orks, so you might see a Rhino tank being piloted by some gretchen, or an Adeptus motorcycle ridden by an Ork Shoota.

The weapons used by the orks range from melee weapons, to bolt pistols, flamers, and heavy weapons.  The vehicles may range from powered bikes, to trikes, even two legged walking machines which orks can pilot.  Nothing is ever uniform about the equipment of an ork warband.  Some may lean towards a certain type of vehicle such as bikes or tanks or even flyers.  Mekboys can even create titan sized machines call gargants possessing immense power and can go toe to toe with Imperial Titans.

As for their space going vehicles the orks hitch rides on derelict ships, captured Imperial ships, or even “rocks” which are asteroids which have been hollowed out and are not only their ships but their landing craft.  Nothing like have a huge asteroid filled with orks landing on your planet to really ruin your day.  A rock can be loaded with thousands of orks, their vehicles, and everything they need to prosecute a war.  The rocks move from the Mekboys creating engines from the living brains of Weirdboyz, using the brains psychic powers to propel the rock.

As stated earlier, the level of technology that the Mekboy can access depends on the size of the warband or WAAAAAGGGHHHHH.  From Inquisitorial records it has been shown that a WAAAAGGGGHHHH can reach such a size that the Mechboys can create technological marvels which are so far advanced of anything the Imperium has ever produced, now or even from the Dark Age of Technology.

The Orks even with their ramshackle looking technology have besieged Holy Terra, held the Tyrannids at bay, fought against Chaos and Demons – again holding their own against such formidable foes.  The Orks may sound silly, act like a bunch of overgrown green children playing at war, have some of the most basic of technology, but they are incredibly fierce, powerful, and a foe to be feared.

And that my droogies is the last of the Warhammer entries for this off season.