I have to be honest in that I didn’t see last year coming. Hell, even my title for the 2021 preview was “Embrace the Suck”. Just checked my notes and I did not do an Eagles preview last year, too busy with the wine.

I will say that I don’t have faith in Jalen Hurts even after the formidable season last year. My fear is that he had a good year, other teams figure him out, and he regresses to a Kyler Murray level of player.

In that 2021 preview I listed the Eagles ineptitude on drafting wide receivers and after reading it again it still is worse than I imagined. However it seems that they hit on Devonta Smith so that is nice. We also keep drafting Georgia Bulldogs and they continue to make Saban their bitch so I like that too.

In my lifetime the Eagles have been to the Superbowl 4 times. We will relive those before I go game by game this season with my pessimistic predictions.

In 1980 with Vermeil at the helm I was four years old and I had not yet become an Eagles fan, that took another couple years. The moment was when my father who was a Dolphins fan was so incensed that his Fins lost to the Eagles that I kept laughing at him. This obviously made him more angry and going forward I was an Eagle fan for life. There are only a few traits that he taught me that stuck because he wasn’t a very good person. One was that once you pick a team you stick with them your entire life. So here we are.

I lived through the Cocaine Cowboys destroying us at every turn in the 90s. I lived through the Detmer brothers at the helm and as I mentioned I lived through arguably the worst history of drafting wide receivers ever in the NFL.

Then came the 2004 Superb Owl. At the time I lived in Australia so the game was at 7 am on Monday morning. My roomie (A Bills fan) woke me up with some champagne and MDMA as you do. We knew one of the only places to watch the game would be at Crown Casino in their sports bar so we jumped on the tram and headed down there.

At the door to the sports bar we were asked to pay an entry fee. To which my buddy asked “What does that get us?”

“It gets you in mate” was the response.

Well,  as we know the Eagles got Tom Brady’d and we decided to make our way home to St. Kilda the neighboUrhood where we lived. Instead of taking the tram back however we played the right hand rule drinking game. This game is when you are walking to your destination you stop at every place that serves alcohol on the right hand side of the road and have a drink. Needless to say we were already pretty wasted when we left the casino at noon and by the time we got back to the destination we were headed we were absolutely trashed. It was a glorious day in Melbourne so my Aussie mates decided to come down to the pub to meet us. In seeing my state my friend Wazzy offered me up some speed that he had just procured. I’d never taken the trucker drug before but I did need a pick me up so I gave it a go. Well friends, my brain was sure acting fast but my body could not catch up. I was falling off my barstool, burning people with cigarettes by accident and basically should have been sent home long ago. In fact they did send my roommate home as he was way too far gone. On his route home he walked by the bar where I was employed and walked square into a tree. This was noticed by one of the bartenders who was a friend of ours so he left the bar and walked (carried) my roomie the rest of the way home. I was a hurtin unit for 3 days. Don’t do shitty drugs kids.

Fast forward to 2017!

We win!!!! Sadly I was at home with a wee baby Decilitre and my wife. I had no one to celebrate with, or talk shit to, also the next morning I had to fly to Toronto for work at 6:00 am. It was not a party.

Here we are at last year.

I went to a pub downtown to meet a couple of friends I hadn’t seen in many years. The bar was packed with more Chefs fans than Eagles. You also get people wearing their teams jersey because FOOTBALL! I didn’t think we would beat Mahomes but as the game went on I started to get drunker and started to believe. Halftime came and I won a door prize. I moseyed my way up to the bar to collect it and the young lady who was giving out the prizes immediately had a sour face. She felt bad because…. I won a Mahomes jersey.

We all know how it ended. I stormed out of the bar after the holding call and made my way to the train to get home. I had lit a dart and a homeless gentleman began to pester me. I must have had rage in my eyes because I turned to him and stated “Now is not the fucking time!”. He then left the platform immediately and people gave me a wide berth for the rest of my trip home. The swearing and muttering must have put them off.

Eagles 2023/24 Schedule