Farewell to August (JV NFL Week Nil Night Thread)

If y’all thought the afternoon schedule was ridiculous, we are entering into (S)sublime territory.  FOAR Ballsy:

Ballsy:  Thank you Hippo! May The Pills Be With U! I’ll chip in with some thoughts and/or cheerleaders.

UMass (+6.5) at New Mexico State (7:00, ESPN)

I shit thee not, Team #133 out of 133 D-1A schools (at least per The Athletic) is featured on ESPN’s first foray into 2023 primetime.  Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humoUr?  You may remember NM State’s coach from his previous gig at Minnesota, where he had a horrifying, gameday, on-field seizure.

Ballsy: I’ve driven past New Mexico State in Las Cruces. That’s a hell of a place to go to school. They have nice buildings though!

[Non-Theeeeee] Ohio (+2.5) at San Diego State (7:00, FS1)

This seems like a trap line, even if the JV BOLTMEN!! are even MOAR defensively minded than they are in hoopsball.  Maybe the Bobcats are good?  Anyway, these teams always run the ball, so maybe it’s over before 9:00.

Ballsy: SDSU is debuting a new stadium and trying to impress any real conference (read Big 12 or ACC) that might want them. Give the points. Also this:

http://www.sdsucheerleading.com/newandevents

Hawaii (+17.5) at Vanderbilt (7:30, SECN)

Probably what I will mostly watch, just for the pure, unadulterated weirdness of it all.  Does it mean MOAR even when it’s Vandy, on SEC Network?

San Jose State (+Eleventy Billion.5) at Southern Cal (8:00, PAC-12)

Pour one out for this soon-to-be-ded sportsball network.  I get like 7-8 channels of it, no less.  In North Cakalaky.  May you live in interesting times, indeed.

Ballsy: The USC Song Girl sweater is available for sale at the student bookstore. For those fun times with the Mrs….

Florida International (+11) at Louisiana Tech (9:00, CBSSN)

One of these schools employed Butch Davis, the other springboarded Jake Delhomme into being.  Hippo knoes who he done gonna root for.  Delhomme’s local ads (when a Black Panther) for Bojangles’ chicken?  Fookin’ legendary.

Ballsy: It’s Saturday Night, y’all! Mute the volume on the games, turn up the First Wave Safety Dance, and crack open a cold one! Enjoy!