![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
Before I begin, I remind you, gentlemen, to check your testicles every three months to make sure there is nothing unusual.
Remember, prevention and early detection is key!
Speaking of, how is football in LA going, you may ask? Let’s dive in:
WEEK ONE
My team: The Steelers won.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No, because my Steelers played on Monday Night Football and Directv was doing a free preview. Also, I was dealing with family stuff, so I barely watched any of RedZone.
Local Team?
The Rams lost on the road, as expected.
WEEK TWO
My team: The Steelers won.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No, because my Steelers were the national game on CBS, so I saw them for free.
Local Team?
The Rams won a surprising and embarrassing game over the Seahawks. One buddy attended and the other sold his ticket for twice face. It was 100 degrees out.
WEEK THREE
My team: The Steelers got embarrassed by the Eagles.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No, because I spent all day Sunday in the high Desert at the live studio/tent taping of the first episode of The Grand Tour. Yes, it was fucking awesome!
Local team?
The Rams surprisingly won on the road!
WEEK FOUR
My team: The Steelers won.
Did I miss Sunday Ticket? No because my Steelers played on Sunday Night Football. I worked on things around the house and barely watched any of the games.
Local team?
The Rams surprisingly won on the road!
OVERALL IMPRESSION
My decision to cut Sunday Ticket has been validated. The Rams are surprisingly 3-1 but due for a fall and my Steelers are 3-1 and tied with the Ravens for first place but the toughest stretch of the season is coming up fast.
Let’s take a look at the standings, shall we?
| NFC East | W | L |
| PHI | 3 | 0 |
| DAL | 3 | 1 |
| NYG | 2 | 2 |
| WSH | 2 | 2 |
| NFC West | W | L |
|---|---|---|
| LA | 3 | 1 |
| SEA | 3 | 1 |
| SF | 1 | 3 |
| ARI | 1 | 3 |
| NFC North | W | L |
| MIN | 4 | 0 |
| GB | 2 | 1 |
| CHI | 1 | 3 |
| DET | 1 | 3 |
| NFC South | W | L |
| ATL | 3 | 1 |
| TB | 1 | 3 |
| CAR | 1 | 3 |
| NO | 1 | 3 |
| AFC East | W | L |
| NE | 3 | 1 |
| BUF | 2 | 2 |
| NYJ | 1 | 3 |
| MIA | 1 | 3 |
| AFC West | W | L |
| DEN | 4 | 0 |
| OAK | 3 | 1 |
| KC | 2 | 2 |
| SD | 1 | 3 |
| AFC North | W | L |
| PIT | 3 | 1 |
| BAL | 3 | 1 |
| CIN | 2 | 2 |
| CLE | 0 | 4 |
| AFC South | W | L |
| HOU | 3 | 1 |
| JAX | 1 | 3 |
| TEN | 1 | 3 |
| IND | 1 | 3 |
Jésus, some divisions are pure dog shit. Looking at you, Souths!
Denver is trying to Trent Dilfer its way to back to back championships while New England has seemingly refinanced its deal with the Devil in order to go 3-1 without Brady. Some made-up team is leading the South. Sounds about right.
The entire NFC outside of Philadelphia is shit. Normally, I’d add East after NFC, but this year you don’t need to. I refuse to believe the Falcons will christen their Asshole with a Superb Owl let alone a NFC championship. The North is … cray cray. I have no idea what is going on in that division. The West is led by the Seahawks/Rams potpourri of suck.
Here are my playoff team predictions at the quarter pole:
AFC: Denver, Oakland, Pittsburgh, New England, Houston, Baltimore.
NFC: Philadelphia, Atlanta, Minnesota, Green Bay, Seattle, Dallas
Btw, in case you were wondering, my balls are A-ok! How are yours?
I leave you with a piece of advice: Never trust a hipster douche in a hat.
See you at the halfway point.
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