Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch without doing anything [in bed].

As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.

Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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Happy Truth and Reconciliation Day! Day off from work!
As times are tight right now it is Mrs. Cola’s and my 8th anniversary tomorrow so instead of going to our fave french resto and dropping a couple hundred bucks I am recreating the meal that we get there regularly.
Olive tapenade to start for her.
Merguez ssg for me.
Beef Tartare for her main.
Steak au Poivre for me.
Creme Brulee to finish.

All prep is done.
litre_cola

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Oh, and Jayden Daniels currently has the best completion percentage across four games EVER. Not for a rookie, but overall! It’s at 82.1% and not just dinks and dunks. And Snyder isn’t around to destroy everyone’s enjoyment! It’ll have to be destroyed through more conventional, less toxic means!
Doktor Zymm

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How many Emo Carrs does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, he prefers to cry in the dark
Doktor Zymm

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I saw Fronk’s early comment re: Huntley vs Rudolph and the horror of having to watch them in week 4 but five years ago who could have imagined Jared Goff vs Geno Smith would be, at very least, cromulent. What a world
Bogdanski

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Sitting at the table last night at the wedding.

My wife’s cousin’s husband – who believes 5G can kill you – dropped this bon mot:

“LeBron James is a Satanist because he was at one of Diddy’s parties.”

“Really? I’d like to see some receipts on that bullshit.”

He didn’t talk to me the rest of the night, which was awesome.
jjfozz

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My only complaint is that there is no Red Zone for these two [Monday Night] games
Doktor Zymm

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Ok, JD Vance claiming multiple women have talked to him about their abortions is the least credible thing he has ever said.

And yes, that includes the pet eating stuff.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Found a funny:

(VP debate)

MODERATOR: What is your favorite sports blooper?

TIM WALZ: July 5, 1989, Paul O’Neill on the Reds bobbling the ball and kicking it to the first baseman because he thought the game was over and accidentally preventing a run

JD VANCE: Women should be required to wear tracking collars
rockingdog

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/Wifey had a super tough day today, trying to place compromised old people in the appropriate place with the appropriate service-I knew she be grouchy when she got back home

Wifey: “Did you do anything today?”

Me: “I washed the dishes, did a load of laundry and brought two bags of garbage to their Forever Home”.

Wifey: [hesitates for a moment, begins laughing] “Asshole.”*

*she wanted to say that all along, of course
scotchnaut

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Today, with the two Fozz spawn in the car, I said, “Each of us needs to take a trash can up the driveway.”

Middle Fozz Spawn: “Nah. I want you to try and drag all three up the driveway at once, and I’m going to video it so I can laugh my ass off and post it online.”

Fuck that kid.
jjfozz

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So I told both of my sisters I was finished with trying to get the beach house sold. I did this knowing that my hyper-competitive, control freak little sister would just have to do something.

So she did. Lined up a realtor, lined up painters, emptied out unnecessary shit from the house.

I fucking love when a plan comes together.
jjfozz

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THIS STADIUM, I CALL IT THE KILLING FIELDS BECAUSE THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF BODIES LEFT BROKEN OVER THE COURSE OF THIS GAME
LemonJello

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Koo
Kick it thru
Don’t be poo
What do you do?
LemonJello

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My older sister called me crying today, what’s new?, because we don’t spend time as a family as much. Well, she has one kid. I have three idiots. My younger sister has three daughters. My father is in la la land, my mother is whacked out of her mind.

So, why in fuck would I want to spend more time with this cast of characters?
jjfozz

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25 years ago: The Tampa 2 dominating football

25 years later: Tampa 2 minutes or your touchdown’s free
fleshwound_NPG

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Is it just me, or is Marshawn Lynch’s segment kind of pitiful and hard to watch?

Also, scotchy is right on Craig. Dude changed the way RB is played. He’s not in, but Curtis “3 yards and a cloud of meh” Martin is? Just fuck that fucking shit.

Also also? Mandatory means MANDATORY.
King Hippo

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Dinner #1 – egg and cheese sammich on toast
Dinner #2 – PB&J, also on toast
Beverage: Coke Zero

Mrs. Fozz is not home. Surprised?

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/I wish this stupid anecdote wasn’t true

Youngest Son: “Girlfriend’s family is going camping and I’ll be taking my trailer this weekend.”

Wifey: “Cool, now you need to take some stuff-maybe cook them some breakfast on Saturday morning.”

YS: “That’s a great idea!”

Wifey: “Right. You’ll need bacon, eggs, bread, butter, potatoes, milk-”

YS: “Nope on the milk, her mom thinks that milk causes cancer.”

Wifey: “Huh…”
scotchnaut

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Rex Grossman always orders these with a dash of Irish Cream, which turns it into his signature drink.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DNohuYrWsAA63oj.jpg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Did I just order a purple Schlitz shirt?

Yes. Yes I did.
Horatio Cornblower

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Metal Machines have ripped the sky
Rattling windows as they streak by

Safe to say the edible has kicked in
DJ TAJ

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Northwestern has a running back named Himon and the announcers have not yet said that he’s been “busted” or “popped” and I’m getting impatient.
SonOfSpam

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Tropical Storm Milton Forms, Poses Major Hurricane Threat To Florida (msn.com)

Come on, Milton. Go to Mar-A-Lago. You know you want to.
Redshirt

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“Dad, you are mad because of Fulham. It’s OK because Liverpool is in first.”

“Grrrrr”

“We should go for a bike ride and stop at a brewery”

“Way to save the day son.”
litre_cola

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HAHAHAHAHA

BY TEN!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MICHIGAN LOST BY TEN!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ENJOY THE OUTBACK BOWL!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(passes out from lack of oxygen due to laughing)
Redshirt

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Jazz Chisholm is good baseball player, while CHAZ Jism was a problem in Seattle a few years back.
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show

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Found a funny:

Zombie fiction is, at its core, about the fear of seeing your own body age and decay. Ghost stories are about the impossibility of grappling with the past. Vampires are about what if you got so horny you died
rockingdog

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Rodgers noped out of that Blue Medical Tent as if there was his family there with a flu shot.
Redshirt

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In the last 2 weeks, my 10mo old idiot puppy, has broken a toe on a front paw and now has an 1″ long tear in the webbing between two toes on a back paw.

5 brain cells just rattling around up there like an empty spray paint can. No impulse control, no self preservation. Just pure chaos.
ThePirateSloth

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As predicted earlier, Mrs. Cola is taking it to me in FF. I asked if I could put on leather and she said this beating was enough. Booooo
litre_cola

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I think I may have just won the DFO survivor group..
Doktor Zymm

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sigh

It’s so draining having to fact check your own father’s stories, because he embellishes everything, and at 78 years old, his stories have grown more and more fantastical every single year.
ThePirateSloth

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Playoff Window, my old friend.
Its time to close you once again.
Because the defense cannot stop shit
And its causing all our hopes to split
That dark cloud has returned to the Jungle
or never left.
And we’re now, the Bungals.
Redshirt

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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