That thing that everybody saw happening has now happened. The American landscape is such that bald-faced lies are not only acceptable but almost expected so of course it was called ‘a football decision’. So now he goes home at night and stoically sits on his moneypile and ruminates about what’s ahead-he’ll be a backup somewhere, maybe a spot starter in a year or two once the Giants stink washes off. His career record was 24-44-1 as a Giant and he was by no means responsible for all those losses but his inability to finish out games allowed him to contribute his fair share. He started off ok-he threw 34% of all his TD passes in his first year.
And now the fans have what they want-change. It comes in the form of Tommy Cutlets, who won three games last year and pushed his team out of QB contention in this year’s draft. Can he do it again? He probably will because if anything, he’s going to energize the team in the short term. So stay tuned for that unflexable Thanksgiving tilt with Cutlets and Rush as the stars. You know what you did.
Fallout:
-Incel-Adjacent Behavior?: The Bears lost in the most Bears fashion but are not letting it be. They’ll be sending tape of their losing blocked field goal to the head office and that sure as hell is going to show someone! [I hear the sounds of thousands of tiny fists shaking]
-The Jags Pederson-holding on dearly to what some people would call a “job”-has said that the team’s problems ‘start with me’. No comment. He also said that ‘everything’s on the table’, except his balls-they’re in a vice.
-I said it elsewhere but that Indy win over the Jets was unexpected and also sweeter than Shirley Temple singing “Good Ship Lollipop”.
To The Game!
Texans/Cowboys:
-It’s Cooper Rush O’Clock! Last we saw this fella was back in ’22 when as a fill-in he guided the team to a 4-1 record. Things are a touch different these days. The team is following it’s owner into a very obvious and loud-mouthed decline and the fact that the term “Curtains” is being thrown into the mix makes me smile for days.
-After the anticipated quick takeoff Houston has leveled of, losing 3 of their last 4 to sit at 6-4. They’re still sitting somewhat pretty in their division.
-Not that it matters but Dallas is 5 games back and fading.
-Stroud during weeks 7-10 has the worst passer rating of any QB with 100+ passes. Everybody watches film, ya gotta adjust to the adjustments.
-He has some relief in the form of Nico finally being back from a hammy. His completion percentage rises 12 points when Collins is on the field.
-He’ll need some more help from Danielle Hunter who leads every defender with 62 pressures. The next closest guy is 10 pressures behind.
Enjoy.
Of course it’s Matt Gaetz paying for sex. Of course.
No one’s fucking that dude for free.
/ Nationwide was, in fact, not on his side….
As predicted, Mixon gave Hippo hope (34 points!) but his team still came up short.
I lost in my Sleeper league by 0.6 points against a team with Mixon. So close
That ad for ‘Landman’ reminded me of a joke. Bear with me.
Tony owns an oil well. He’s got all his money invested in it, and if it busts he’s screwed. Fortunately for him, it’s a gusher. Unfortunately for him, it goes up in flames two days after the gusher.
Tony frantically looks for someone who puts put oil well fires. Red Adair is the best, but it’s $200,000 to even get Red to pick up the phone. Tony doesn’t have $20,000, let alone $200,000. Looking further he finds ‘Pedro’s Budget Oil Firemen.’ $10,000, they’ll fight any fire. Tony calls Pedro, describes his situation, Pedro says “we’re on the way.”
Tony drives out to the well-site, meets Pedro. They’re discussing the scene, Tony hears a roar behind the hills and Pedro says, “Oh, here come my guys!”
Over the hill comes 5 Mexicans in a beat up pick-up. As Tommy watches, horror-struck, the truck goes right by he and Pedro, right through the fence around the rig, and right into the fire. The Mexicans jump out of the truck and start throwing everything they’ve got at the fire. They’re stomping out flames, they’re pouring water out of plastic bottles on it, hell they’re pissing on it!
Finally, the fire is out. The Mexicans come staggering out of the rig, covered in ash and looking like ghosts. Tony writes out the check right there and then. As he hands it to Pedro he says “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Tell me, what are you going to do with the money.”
Pedro replies “The first thing I’m going to do is fix the brakes on that fucking truck!”
Take your +1 you bastard ghoul
I can’t take credit for it, just enjoy passing along a joke I picked up somewhere along the way.
Unlike herpes.
nice
Not the best day, but watching the Cowfolk get their butts kicked will never lose its charm
We* take wins where we* can get them
*Not the Cowboys
Knowing that Jerruh just took a kick to the nutz always brings a wee bit o’ joy to my cold, black heart.
C’mon, one more teensy interception for the Texans’ D and that’ll take my team over 200
LET TREY LANCE THROW THE FOOTBALL, MIKE!!!
Aw, so close!
YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWW
woo DrawPlayDave liked my comment on BlueSky because I complimented the detailed corn he drew in the log of shit he drew, gonna go think about my impact on the world for a bit
Maybe think more about your knowledge of Gilded Age painters.
(yes, I did just look that up)
I was even thinking “Whistler’s Mother” when I wrote that and Winslow Homer ended up on the screen and there’s no possible way I could identify whatever his most famous painting is
Liar. You saw Goodwill Hunting.
Never the whole thing. Too much Masshole.
Nah, that would be “Yer Mom”
I think it’s this one. Which I know by sight but just learned is called ‘Breezing Up’ which, sure, what the hell.
“Wanna go for a sail? The wind is breezing up!” said no person in history, and this painting looks like something you buy at a Zody’s in a massive yet muted color gold frame.
wait did Zodys have an apostrophe?
You’re an ‘influencer’ now, SOS. Use your power wisely. Use it for dumb.
I read that as “use your power for whiskey” and couldn’t have agreed more.
Well. I have often referred to whiskey as “the stupid juice”, so yeah…
Oh shit, what do I do what do I do
/posts dick pic on BlueSky
Ok I influenced where’s my money
America deserves the Cowboys as “America’s Team” (and still the most popular, IIRC)
LET TREY LANCE THROW THE FOOTBALL, MIKE!!!
Nah, Jerrah doesn’t like…something about Trey
Umm… did Cooper Rush piss in the cereal of the linemen today?
His brother Color makes stupid uniforms.
Maybe, but that’s not why they’re doing a shoddy job
Ok, JJ Watt making fun of PeyPey’s giant forehead is kinda fun
Is it just me, or do Texans fans, imaginary or otherwise, clearly outnumber Cowboy fans?
Nah, the Cowboy fans have just turned on their team
I mean, I certainly have.
Although it’s more turning on Ol’ Double J than turning on the team.
Based on his supernatural ability to turn three points into negative seven points I hereby dub the Dallas head coach “Magic Mike”.
Don’t do C-Tates dirty like that.
Trey Lance vs Tommy DeVito on Thanksgiving????
Native American curse.
Just like the NFL scripted it!
Big D in the Big D but not from the Big D!
So many SUDDEN CHANGES!
Lol