Monday Morning Mock Draft: Hey Genius, This Would Have Been Great *LAST* Week!!

OK, so admittedly my timing isn’t the best on this one.  Last Monday, as I justifiably celebrated with a few beers with my father and brother at The Harp in romantic Willimantic, CT

was St. Patrick’s Day.  While I was coming back from those beers, (2-3 Guinness, and yes, I did make sure that my first drink of each pint split the G in the glass), I had the radio tuned to the local sports radio station where they were drafting, wait for it, Patricks.

“Fuck!” I yelled to myself in the car “Why didn’t I think of that!?”

“Because you’re a moron” said the leprechaun sitting next to me.

Which was rude, but also accurate.

Now, I could wait 6-7 years for St. Patrick’s Day to roll around on a Monday again but let’s face it, we probably don’t have 6-7 years before this planet more closely resembles the surface of Venus than it does the slightly habitable place we call home right now.  So we’re running that topic this week.

This week you draft Patricks.  In order to make this as woke as possible, you may also draft Patricias, should you so choose.  The only restriction is the name; your Patrick/Patricia can come from any walk of life and you are not drafting them for any particular purpose.  They don’t have to be real, either.  A fictional Patrick, (or Patricia!), is just as acceptable as a non-fictional Patricia, (or Patrick!).  Once your Patrick/Patricia is drafted they are off the board; if you take an actor/actress/author with that name no one else can later take them for another role or book or other work.  The individual is what matters here, not what they did.

With the first pick I will use a phrase I undoubtedly will have used many times while watching Florida beat whole-sale ass on the Fightin’ Horatios (Netball Division) on Sunday

(that’s right, I’m getting this done Saturday!  How’s that for efficiency!?)

“pain don’t hurt” and taking the one, the only, the late, the lamented, Patrick Swayze.

Nobody puts Horatio in a corner, nor does anyone keep him from posting a draft topic that would have made sense a week ago.

The rest of you are on the clock