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Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
No man really knows about other human beings. The best he can do is to suppose that they are like himself [in bed].
John Steinbeck
I suppose that’s a good way to look at others. May also explain strange looks we all get time to time.
And I just realized that I should have planned something for April Fools, but due to total lack of planning and foresight, got nothing
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
1st pick [ in the Patrick draft]:
Patrick Star
LemonJello
Litre brought his Canadian temper, as Phoenix, again, broke a heat record today.
The comments section of local conservative news reads that, “the monsoons will be more active this year.”
The fucking monsoons haven’t been active since I was 12. There is just not one thing these people can’t look the other way on for another few months. I guess it’ll be good news the economic pain will be over by then because the fucking heat is going to make us all pay.
Me not as much because I got my ticket for Hawaii booked for the Monday after the boy gets out of school session (the bathrooms are gonna be remodeled by then!). But for people who don’t like experiencing a THIRD record-breaking-like-crazy summer — it’s gonna be hot.
blaxabbath
Why would you [ArmedandHammered] be an HOA president?
blaxabbath
The neighborhood is just life-size Warhammer figures now
Doktor Zymm
*anything about the bylaws and everyone in the HOA is suddenly arguing to me like they are presenting a case before SCOTUS. *
Lawyers… is there anything they can’t do?
WCS
BACK ON THE BOARD, BABY!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
This is the best thing I’ve seen in months
Trump supporter Rick Fuze was arrested in Berkeley for using a stun gun on peaceful protesters outside a Tesla dealership. Fuze claimed they were paid protesters and he went there to show his support for Musk and DOGE.
— Ron Filipkowski (@ronfilipkowski.bsky.social) 2025-03-24T16:35:17.435Z
Gumbygirl
If you can’t open the video, some chode pulled a stun gun on a little old lady, and she fucked him up, hard! Grabbed him by his ear and slammed him headfirst into a car.
Gumbygirl
NFL mice just rub dirt on it
Don T
Oh sure when mice approach an unconscious subject and use their mouth to start pulling on her tongue, it’s “First Aid” but when I do it…
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
The mouse doesn’t have a raging semi
SonOfSpam
Gatoraids
Redshirt
🤭
Don T
Sharkbait
Wilson? Oh for Fuck Sakes! I’m climbing the mountain behind my house tomorrow and taking the shortest route back down.
scotchnaut
Apropos of nothing…
BugEyedBoo
Found a funny:
🇺🇸
rockingdog
I saw someone calling Hegseth “Whiskileaks”. Rocking?
Don T
Elizabeth Taylor walking the talk.
blaxabbath
Seen on another footyball site:
“I read the name Jaxson Dart and immediately knew he is from Utah.”
“They say his brother – Lon – is even better.”
“Haven’t heard of him before, but that’s a name you can’t forget. Really gets stuck in your head.”
BeefReeferLives
Hey hey. A knife fell on my foot and this time it cut me. First time that happened, gorgeous wound naturally.
Don T
Hey, I know someone you can call for help…
WCS
How often do you see a college team en route to putting up 90+ points in regulation and still getting blown the fuck out of the building?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Bengals got relegated?
Redshirt
Found a funny:
doing a cool samurai thing where I slice an incoming arrow in half with my katana, instantly killing my two buddies standing just behind me
rockingdog
Mrs. Horatio is spending almost all of tomorrow with friends. I will be on my own for lunch and dinner. It’s a long running joke that I cannot cook, and that left on my own will starve to death. Which is not true: I can cook, but she’s just much better at it, and also why would I cook when she thinks I can’t?
Anyhoo, tonight she asked me “do you think you’ll be OK tomorrow?” and I replied “Gosh babe, I just don’t know” without revealing that my plans, with like 12 hours to myself, revolve around hitting at least one and possibly as many three breweries, all of which have food trucks at which money can be exchanged for foodstuffs, and that I am not just going to survive, I AM GOING TO THRIVE!!!
Sunday is probably going to suck.
Horatio Cornblower
I’m deeply in love with an actual woman descended from nobility. I have a miracle son with her. I have two beautiful, smart, and witty daughters who I got to spend a terrific afternoon and evening with. I’m doing a jorb I genuinely like, and may actually be half decent at. So, why am I seething in silent rage, dear reader? My dad remains a prick.
It’s amazing how one person can soil an otherwise great day. I feel like a jagoff even posting this bullshit in my personal life no one cares about. I just needed to vent. Anyway, hope yinz are doing well.
Any UFL coverage, perchance?
/is laughed out of Clubhouse
WCS
Brocky
Who’s been otu drinking with hi scousins? thiiiiis motheracuacka! god, what w agreat geeling. man, shit is good. wait, dmore drinks? this fucking white boys is on baord!
jjfozz
My week in Canada’s meth lab basement comes to a close tomorrow. Was lovely and we got at least a dozen apologies for the current regime. Very much enjoyed Sir Blax’s hospitality at the beisbol game last night!
litre_cola
I don’t want to alarm anyone who needs a trigger warning smh but teh #BFIB are on track to win 162 baseball matches this season. THE RIGHT WAY, obvs
King Hippo
Doktor Zymm
THIS NCAA TOURNAMENT I CALL IT GREG ODEN’S BONES BECAUSE IT IS TURNING OUT TO BE PURE CHALK.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Does anyone else here in the clubhouse keep sugar and/or flour in the fridge?
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
I keep my sugar in the backyard.
Jimbo
Lawyer in Italian is ‘avvocato’ and I can’t help but read it as ‘avocado’ which would probably make Italian CourtTV way tastier and more interesting
Doktor Zymm
I always called it Avocado’s Number
ballsofsteelandfury
Back in grad school we wondered if we could make a guacamole. 6.02E23 avocados converted into dip. It would take ~10,000 years to grow that many avovados based on 2003 data (avoinfo.org, not sure if it’s still active)
Bogdanski
And a caution to RTD
Doktor Zymm
Continuing from the previous “Sunday Gravy” post, I was talking about the DFO Vegas summit meeting of November 2023. Here’s are excerpts from that trial.
At the Vegas confab I met:
Dok Zymm
Don T
lite_cola
blaxabbath (who thinks I hate him but in fact I like him go figure)
Armed and Dangerous *
yeah right*
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
(I know I’m leaving somebody out but I was drunk then and doped up now)
* met previously
November 6 2003
Brick Meathook
Son of Spam! (also previously met)
Brick Meathook
Thank you for just barely remembering I existed!
SonOfSpam
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
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