Probably not but I’m going to give it a try. Last week, Mrs. Scotchnaut asked me to bring back some salad stuff and that was my reply. Why yes, as I am want to do, I did explain the joke.

So there’s not much out there on the football side aside from that juicy document getting leaked. All credit goes to Pablo Torre for getting it and immediately running over to Mike Florio’s house while waving it in the air excitedly. Look, I find Florio humorless, tedious and shrill at times. But he’s also someone that drills down on topics and explores all the ramifications of actions. He’s that damn terrier that won’t let go of the ball and that attribute is going to come in handy in the coming months. I’m looking forward to it.

I’ve mentioned that I’ve gone on an exploratory “Sexploitation Movie” binge and because I’m not at the word limit I’d like to share a few observations.

My entry point is Blue Summer (1973) and I’ll go from there.

-This falls under the rubric of a “Road Movie” in that two high school graduates pack their things into a van (named “The Meat Wagon”)

-The uncredited star of this movie is cans and cans of Red Cap Ale(!) which was my maternal grandfather’s favorite beverage.

-When you do a bit of research on the female stars a few things become clear-(you may want to sit down for this first one) there’s a slippery slope into actual porn or they fall off the earth and there is nothing to be found about them.

-Take Melissa Evers, please. (because her voice can break glass) She was an older actress and she stands out to me because she had a full pull of Red Cap while being “serviced” by a guy. Blue Summer seems to be that rare movie where the interactions between the actors was ‘real’, but that “X” version was never released.

Other Observations:

-Writers and directors tend to put themselves into scenes involving nudity (strip clubs, observers at an orgy, Peeping Tom situations, etc) so that they can look at boobies while getting extra money as an extra.

-Women rarely have any tattoos but if they do it’s a butterfly on an ass cheek. Every time.

-Much of the genre (from ’74 to ’76) seems to be the last gasp of the Hippie notion of “Freedom”. Boy, has that word taken a right turn over the years.

-There’s a shit ton of, “Once you force her to try it, she’ll like it” scenarios.

-Atrocious editing results in actors/actresses looking slightly off camera (to the director I assume) and then making moaning noises/ecstatic faces.

Thats it. Enjoy baseball or the 2nd round of the draft, if you dare.