Jesus God, I thought we were NEVAR gonna get to this day. But FITBAW is everywhere you look.
Fulham and its famoUs, hated Trespassers do battle in the early hours (7:30, USA), which is a spicy meatball to accent one’s coffee.
Black Cats chase some Bees around in the feature at 10:00 (USA), but I prefer to waste two hours of oxygen with Wolves/Toffees (Peacock). Men Untied/Burnley also streams, if you prefer to watch a really slo-mo car crash, on repeat.
Mediocre Leeds get Big Mad Newcastle in the Spotlight Dance, and fuck ’em both I’mma watch JV NFL…
Steerfuckers South (+1.5) at THE Ohio State (Noon, Fox)
Gently amused that the consensus #1 team in the country opens their season, immediately as the underdog. Tough opener for PeyPey’s nephew, indeed. Yet again, I am discomforted by the Tree Nutz playing the part of the Good Guys. Damn yew, Darkest Timeline…
SillyCuse (+13.5) v. Tennessee – LIVE from Megatron’s Butthole (Noon, ABC)
Seems like every early September/late August, the Vols play a middling ACC foe and beat the absolute tar shit out of them. Unfortinately, reality always sets in during conference play. Without an NFL-calibre quartered back, methinks the Orange will fade from our consciousness as quickly as they entered it.
Mississippi State (-13.5) at Southern Miss (Noon, ESPN)
Want a fun GAMBLOR journey? Moneyline bet the Fightin’ Farvenises here. Cowbells are the worst team in the SEC by a good margin, and really could lose here.
Roll Damn Tide (-13.5) at Florida State (3:30, ABC)
Not interested in this one? Better nap, unless you suspect South Dakota to be much better than I do. Watching the rednecks of North Floridistan will warm my cold, dark heart. Or alternatively, Kalen DeBoer signs the death warrant for his SEC career. NO PRESSURE, GUYS!
I’m guessing it’s “Jerry Sandusky Day” at Beaver Stadium today because Penn State is abusing Nevada 46-3.
“46-3? That’s a little too May-December, even for me.” – pedophile Matt Gaetz
Had a nice ride out in the heat and that’s enough active and healthy for today. Time for the burger and hammock portion of the weekend!
Also mango lassi, they’re widely available around here since most of the restaurants are owned by Indians. And some kulfi cheesecake!
Mark Foley and a very active DFO post-what do they have in common?
They’re past their time and no one knows what they’re up to?
They have multiple pages!
A lengthly FBI report?
I don’t think any of us are certified on the Federal level; we’re all just regional breast inspectors.
Speak for yourself.
Is he the guy who lives in a van down by the river?
Buddy Guy is back and commenting?
we now have twice the probability and ability of a deep drive by castellanos offing someone at anytime during a weekend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvuuWqHYD-Y&pp=ygUmYWNlIHZlbnR1cmEgaSdtIGxvb2tpbmcgZm9yIHJheSBmaW5rbGU%3D
Alabama fans looking up the score
Deploy the National Guard to Kalen DeBoer’s residence, family, cars, and office.
Headline tomorrow:
Kalen
Kant
Koach!
Kontroversy!
Good to see Herodotus back here on a semi-regular basis!*
*makes mental note that being convicted of strangling $10 meth-addled prostitutes behind Wendy’s dumpsters gets you six months large and three squares a day.
120 Minutes Playlist Project Status: ROCKING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IAF5Q6S79I
(this is my favorite song by this band)
Here’s another artsy-fartsy shot of RFK Stadium being demolished, taken yesterday.
Look at that rule-of-thirds composition, just like Ansel Fuckin’ Adams.
https://ibb.co/BVLs9xg6
While we’re at it, can we also demolish RFK jr?
he’s a kennedy, he’ll demolish himself or someone will help him
and sooner than you think
We need to find Sirhan Sirhan Jr.
Wouldn’t he be Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan?
Even though Byrds aren’t real, every season should tern, tern, tern.
A little dodge & burn here:
https://ibb.co/wZLQcdnt
Hey ABC guys, the double L’s in Castellanos is pronounced as Y.
That concludes my Spanish lesson for the day.
And Barcelona?
Barthelona, or you get weird looks there.
Definitely been getting that from my Spain Spanish lessons.
Lots of lisping going on.
“Are you ready for pumpkin pie spiced EVERYFUCKINTHING America????”
-Madison Ave.
.
“Hey Jimbo, you should try some Pumpkin Pie Spice corned beef hash from Sonic!!”
-Poor Lil Archie PeyPey
awfully big DOINK in IU/old dominion
My afternoon menu:
I’d go Jays Brewers but that’s just me.
if you liked walking tall, original or remake, might wanna rethink that
https://apnews.com/article/buford-pusser-walking-tall-tennessee-cold-case-6a3162fb834a19947b33fbc9002a9a45
Read that this morning. Hard to believe a corruptible sheriff could be corrupt.
Gumby and a friend looked up his number and called him after Walking Tall came out. He answered the phone and talked to them for long enough that Gumby’s parents were totally pissed off about the long distance bill.
Not looked up, they would have had to have called directory assistance back then. Do any of you whippersnappers even remember that? You dialed 0, and a person called an “operator” would help you.
I remember,
Also:
At some point during my youth that switched to dialing 411.
IU’s QB struggling to throw above 50% against old dominion
*sees his name*
It’s a competitive tilt in the rugger. Australia up by nine with 10 to go.
Oz by two now.
TIED!
Five minutes to go.
Finished tied. The Aussies missed a conversion they should have made. The US now has the advantage as they play SAM-oa and the Aussies play England.
It’ll come down to points differential, and whether England runs it up on the Aussies.
The Dr. Mrs. is on hold and cheers to whoever came up with this collection of elevator music where the tracks are introduced individually, including one tagged as “controversial”.
The Good Mrs. Reefer just referred to him as “Poor Lil Archie Pey-Pey” and I had trouble getting enough oxygen into my body to laugh more…
ooooooh, that’s good
She’s a Keeper, Mistuh Reefer!!!
“Reefer ain’t for keepin’, it’s for smokin’! Or for using as a pretext to throw minorities in prison, where they be forced to provide free labor, and there ain’t nothin’ the Constitution can do about it!” – Bob McNair
ty. ayup. she shore is, mistuh hippo…
Banner?
a manning wearing orange #16 losing big games
arch, you ARE a future indianapolis colt!
“That son of a bitch coach that I hate so much won another huge important game. GRRR!”
-Redshirt
Whelp, the betting ap commercial telling us via AI slop that we’re all myopic idiots for not betting the house on Archie did not, uh, age very well…
…but i’m sure they’ll have an equally annoying one ready for us next
season weekcommercial break!!my brain hurts.
“Look at these fancy New York tennis players, what with having TWO pairs of shoes…” – Jim Tomsula, parts unknown
One presumes Bama/FSU is the Molly McGrath game?
Woohoo Redshirt!
I too am amused by this result.
Parker Livingstone is…
/a Longhorn WR
/a geologic anomaly
/a high-end dog walker in NYC
/a junior lawyer in daddy’s firm
/Spiderman
/my pornstar name
/South Park creator
/a valet working at a resort in Tanzania
That’s the sort of obscure that makes me laugh +1
/barely knows her Livingstone
/a missing doctor, I presume?
& if their middle name is “Warby”, an ophthalmologist.
Not like this, Buckeyes. Not like this.
JV VAR!
Sir, we’re fielding calls from Texas, SEC, Mannings, and the NFL. Let that one stand.
“I’M GONNA CALL THIS MANNING KID ‘THE ARCH DE TRIOMPHE’ BECAUSE IT’S IRONIC!”
-A. Morrissette
But would she go down on him in a theatre?
She’s busy speaking eloquently.
“I’m more concerned about whether she keeps her Hands Clean.” – Robert K., Foxboro MA
Would it be fair to say Matt Patricia is THEEEEE Samsquanch in waiting?
At least they bled off lots of time on that scoreless drive. I think we all want this to end.
This is why Chess is respected, resigning is not only understandable but honorable
They should just tip over their Manning. Like you said, honoUr…
It’s all part of the Texas strategy to keep OSU pinned back at thier own end zone.
“Six safeties and we’re back in this thing!”
I thought the Texas legislature made it illegal to bleed off something extraneous as a result of failing to score.
Maybe Arch needed a tune up game…
…or maybe I need to keep my trap shut!