Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
GTD needs to get off his forgetful arse and go find some new quotes [in bed].
Maybe I’ll remember this week, but prob not.
It’s been snowing here off and on for over 24 hours now, so kinda glad I got some of the Christmas lights up on Saturday. They won’t go on regularly until the weekend, assuming we remember to turn them on. My oldest texted, aka chirped, me Sunday morning, asking if I was still waiting for that “one nice day in November” to put the lights up, and I got chirp to back saying that I did, or at least started.
It’s Remember Day here in Canada, so for all of you that have and are serving, thank you. Lest we forget.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
I do love how this year’s Steelers team pisses Hippo off SO MUCH that they barely get mentioned.
ballsofsteelandfury
I keep getting texts reminding to vote tomorrow, I already voted.
Jimbo

LemonJello
“Hi, my name is Redshirt and I’m a Bengals fan.”

Redshirt
November 3, 2025 12:24 pm
Coffee is in the back. It’s not free though
NotShogunButShogun
I told you not to put Mike Brown in charge of concessions!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
The next time I put money on the Dallas Cowboys and their affiliated players, just hit me really hard.
Redshirt
Tonight we learned Brisket > Ham.
Jimbo
Never underestimate the Cowboys’ commitment to letting down their fans.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Love how every announcer insists that teams like the Cardinals are really starting to come together offensively.
No, they’re playing Dallas.
Horatio Cornblower
My SIL and I just got back from dinner at a nice rooftop resto in West Palm. They had an ice skating rink across the street. In south Florida. Bizarre place. I need Dak to give me many points so I can whoop Ball’s ass. Just how he likes it, rough in the booty!
Gumbygirl
So, how do the Cowboys blow this?
ballsofsteelandfury
-Jake Gyllenhaal, asking for notes on the Brokeback Mountain set
SonOfSpam
Hilariously I hope
Doktor Zymm
lol wee Kyler benched
SonOfSpam
Well the new season of Fortnite centers around The Simpsons, so no way he was paying attention to the playbook.
Horatio Cornblower
Thanks to the New York Jets for reminding us that it could be worse. Not sure how, but that’s…that’s what they say.
Redshirt
It’s been a year today [Nov 5] since I lost Gumby. I’ve been trying not to dwell on it, for a nice distraction, this morning my SIL and I went snorkeling and kayaking. I scraped the fuck out of my foot climbing into the water on some coral rock, owwie, but other than that it was fun. He would be very happy to see how the elections went yesterday, yay for all of us!
Gumbygirl
Although it’s not lightly used, it still tastes like vicoUry. Thanks Maestro!!
Mr. Ayo
“Oh, I’ve spent a night or two at Lot 40. Probably some of the roughest hardpan out there to sleep on, but the fencing does a pretty good job of keeping the coyotes out, so it’s mostly just feral cats you gotta worry about.” – Jim Tomsula
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Oh shit, I just saw Couchfucker referred to as Vladimir Futon.
Adding it to the lexicon.
LemonJello
Get MRI
Driving home huge headache develops
Walk into house, wife is yelling at the dog, dumb beast got a roasted chicken out of the refrigerator and ate it.
(middle son had opened the refrigerator to get beer, and left it open. he is brain damaged.)
Dog is hiding in crate.
Wife and I grab her, and fill a turkey baster with milk and hydrogen peroxide to induce vomiting.
My headache triples.
Sit outside with dog, wait for her to vomit. Fifteen minutes later half digested chicken erupts from her like Old Faithful.
“Go outside and pick up the vomit, because the first time she ate it and there were bones in it.”
Brain is running out of my ears due to headache.
Wish I was back in the MRI machine.
jjfozz
Anyone else have someone over for a $300 chimney cleaning only to be told both your chimneys need to be replaced and by the way do you have $40K you weren’t doing anything with?
No? Just me?
Cool. Cool cool cool.
Horatio Cornblower
I’m glad I got the covid booster, but man that shit takes it out of me the next day. I feel like I got hit by a truck.
Sharkbait
I should get the shot, but I’ll have to check if Ohio made getting the COVID booster a felony or just a misdemeanor.
Redshirt
Even on my worst night in the worst bar at 1 in the morning, i didn’t have this many bad passes
jjfozz
Why again can’t we have these jerseys all the time?
Redshirt
(sigh) For the eleventh time, because you touch yourself at night.
SonOfSpam
Lol, we asked our Uber driver to take us to Mar a Lardo so we could pee on the rug, and he told us he was ‘in the capitol” on Jan 6. So that was a no.
Gumbygirl
gotta a good feeling about this one!

Redshirt
Redshirt this past Sunday:
Life:
WCS
CONGRESSIONAL HEALTH SERVICES COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN: Thank you for joining us today. Now you’ve been sworn in, so let’s get straight to it. My first question to you is: Truth…or Dare?
HEALTH INSURANCE EXECUTIVE: Truth.
CONGRESSIONAL HEALTH SERVICES COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN: Please explain to this committee why your claim denial process is initiated automatically for 98% of the conditions and treatments that your policies supposedly cover.
HEALTH INSURANCE EXECUTIVE: [frowns] I’d like to revise my earlier answer, Mr. Chairman. I’ll take dare.
CONGRESSIONAL HEALTH SERVICES COMMITTEE CHAIRMAN: [confers with colleagues] Okay. During your meeting in the Oval Office this afternoon, we dare you to announce in a robotic tone of voice “5G SIGNAL OBTAINED. NANOBOTS ACTIVATED” and then a few seconds later “VACCINE SHEDDING PROTOCOL INITIATED” and then start hyperventillating like you are spewing…um, whatever these rubes think that made-up delusional nonsense is…into the air. I yield my time.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BugEyedBoo
White Guy Complains About His Day Alert:
-set alarm for 3am because of kid having delivery shift
-set alarm again for 6:30 because I have to open up warehouse
-dressed in the dark so as not to wake up wifey, forget my phone
-can’t run back and get it because I’ve a meeting with bankers
-later, have a meeting with another shareholder
-regular ordering and calling/texting for orders compressed into 90 minutes
-time for drinks? No
-staying up until 11 because son has to pick up a trailerload of stuff in Toronto for a fundraising thing that we do
/there will be day drinking tomorrow my friends
scotchnaut
-a pair of drifters disappear at some interterminal point of time…
WCS
Wait, shame bet ?
Which strip clubs are involved?
ballsofsteelandfury
It would almost have to be OnlyFans at this point. Post-pandemic me wonders how ANYONE ever set foot in a strip club.
Speaking of, my eye doctor is a smokeshow (divorced single mom) and I want to ask tWBS’ ghost whether it’s creepy to make a sad, fumbling attempt at hitting on her.
King Hippo
tWBS’s ghost, hitting on a Sambo’s waitress with debatable tattoos: “No man, it’s totally cool”
Horatio Cornblower
“ChatGPT, write my legal brief for me, throw in a couple of cases that don’t exist so as to increase the chances of my getting disbarred, and while you’re at it use up enough water to keep a small Africa village alive for a month”
Horatio Cornblower
Have to get up at 3 for our flight. Yes my BIL and I are getting drunk in the basement
litre_cola
Did I tell yinz I’m going to the Stillers/Bolts fiesta tonight? Luxury box seats, baybee! But we didn’t get parking nearby, so I’ll probably get murdered in Inglewood. And Taylor has enough fantasy points, for Chrissakes!
Gumbygirl
TV: “Here’s is the lovely Olympic Stadium in Berlin, Germany, or Olympiastadion in German. Originally planned for the canceled 1916 Summer Olympics, but the plans were personally revived by German Chancellor A-“
Redshirt
That game just took five years off my life.
At least it’s the shitty ones at the end.
Ever since Pops LaCross started hospice care at my house and we started watching these games together, the Bears are 6-1.
Col. Duke LaCross
nothing is more american than ignoring your president intruding an nfl game and instead illegally stream rams/niners on an iranian website
fleshwound_NPG
Veterans: for all of you hard work, lost time with family, possibly getting your head blown off, we offer you a free meal that will induce intense diarrhea. Thanks Applebee’s.
jjfozz
Our box is about on the 10 yard line, near where Qaron got smooshed, up close to the bottom of the ginormous scoreboard.
Gumbygirl
Tonight has definitely shown those of around here love the safety more than any other scoring type.
Mr. Ayo
Only a grizzled veteran could inexplicably back into the end zone and then drop the ball — maybe he found out the ball was vaccinated
Downfield Matriculator
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
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