I mean, did you SEE that puppy abortion Thursday night? Plus, Pirate Kansas is on track to go 0-fer-PAAAAWWWWLLLLLLLL (and is off this week to boot). So no. Maybe the autumn wind is just…a horsey fart? We will see how the Fat Humps do tomorrow. Test Hippo’s hypothesis (Hippothesis?).
You actually get two decent morning fixtures, huzzah! Spurs host Men Untied (7:30, USA), with Thomas Frank being under the most nonsensical pressure I have ever seen. But you are too good on the road, compared to a teeny-tiny sample of home performances!!!11111 I just don’t get it.
Next up, Clubhouse Derby time! Mildly Disappointing Everton host Mighty(ish) Whitey (10:00, USA), in which there JUST MIGHT BE some #ShameBet going down. It will be a Draw, because that’s how things be.
Arsenal away to Sunderland (12:30, NBC) is also fairly interesting, but JV NFL will win out for me. YMMV.
Georgia (-9.5) at Mississippi State (Noon, ESPN)
Don’t laugh, I expect this to be compelling af. Match of the Day! Clang them Cowbells and then some.
Original Recipe Big Love (+10.5) at Guns Up!! (Noon, ABC)
Vegas keeps not believing in the Stormin’ Mormons, but they kept breaking gold plates over the critics’ heads. I do think both these squadrons are playoff-calibre.
Indiana Fightin’ Brockys (-14.5) at Paedo State (Noon, Fox)
Raise your hand if you ever thought IU would be MOAR than 2 full tuddy favoUrites in State College. Fucking LIAR!!
Bonfire Cult (-6.5) at Missouri (3:30, ABC)
This could be mildly treacherous for Mike Elko’s men. But Mizzou is playing a backup/true freshman QB, and defensive minds like Elko usually have a “high floor” in such circumstances.
Oregon (-6.5) at Team Cornpone (3:30, CBS)
Fully calling the upset here – Iowa wins, and enters the playoff discussion. Note they are the only team not to look like roadkill against the IU juggernaut.
Duke (-9.5) at Fightin’ Horatios (3:30, CBSSN)
Look, Lowratio asked very nicely, ok? Who could say no??
War Damn Eagle (+6.5) at Vanderbilt (4:00, SECN)
Very, VERY dangerous situation for Vandy. They absoluely need this win to stay in the playoff discussion. But win it, and that UT finale will be all kinds of bigtime funsies.
Man am I glad I turned that Indiana game on with about four minutes left in the 4th quarter. One of the most amazing catches I have ever seen and will ever see.
It was fucking stellar.
SFO museum has a fun display on phones in T2 right now. I would totally try to stick some cell phone guts in this Pacman phone if I got ahold of one
I will go on record, as a former Iowa resident you could do a lot worse than living in Iowa City.
Very liberal, college town and they host the annual writers workshop there. Kurt Vonnegut and John Irving being writer shop alumni.
Plus, college town?
When you get past the corn and soy bean fields it’s quite pretty.
I can recall reading Irving talking about that. What a deligfhtful weirdo he was/is (no idea if ded)
He’s still out there. Wasn’t wild about his last book but every 3 or so books he can break your mind.
This is a fantastic description of Irving.
The secret ingredients for a really outstanding egg salad? Bourbon, hardtack, a warm duvet, extra strength Pepcid, your mother’s late period, a cloud that looks like a Club Sandwich, wet wipes, Andy swimming through shit, hitting a free throw with less than 30 seconds left in the half and leg day on the weekend. Prove me wrong.
Can’t say I’m sold on the Iowa “Star spangled cock and balls” helmet logo.
The alternate lids on Original Recipe Big Love and Bloodeyes were pretty kewl, though. But yeah, Iowa’s es no bueno.
Ducks running backs are Rockingggg!!! 🦆
I did nae expect Vandy to find a second wind here.
Son of bitch. Don’t have a third screen to tune in.
It’s my flip with the SICKO contest. 2nd screen is full to Cornpone/Quackers (but muted)
CORNPONE!
Eat shit Quackers.
As a SICKO, I am flipping to Bow Down!!/Bucky Badger. It was 3-nil Wiscy, but a long TD march (1 total yard, 2 plays) got the Huskies to 10-3. Wisconsin has not completed a single forward pass in the first half.
BOW DOWN!
How were y’all not a charter B1G member? Y’all fit in spectacularly.
Everyone thought they had great QBs, when in fact they had B1G QBs like Penix.
That’s Rocking!!!