Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Still no new quotes [in bed].
I’ll get there, some day. I swear
Been sick all weekend, zero out of ten, do not recommend. As part of this man cold, I have lost my voice. So what does my lovely partner do?
Calls up both kids so that they can hear how bad dad’s voice is. Fun times.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Ok, since no one asked for it, I’ll summarize my thoughts on the Senate deal.
1) Sure, I hate the idea that Schumer et al. caved.
2) BUT
3) Trump/Vought are completely fine with starving people forever.
4) Keeping the Gov shut down was nawt going to get the ACA thing solved, at least not now.
5) So this deal, weak as it is, gets Fed employees back to work (with back pay) and funds SNAP through next year. Those are good things.
6) The GOP “promises” a vote on something ACA-related next month. Probably won’t happen, because the GOP does nawt tell the truth. BUT…
7) The CR is only good for 2 months or so, meaning this will happen again in January…
8) …by which time, the health care increases will have been felt for real – right this second, the pain is mostly theoretical.
9) Again, the Executive Branch absolutely does not care, but nervous GOP reps will, especially since they’ll be getting pressure from home about it. Will this change a few minds on ACA subsidies? Maybe? Even if not, it has/will become clear who’s to blame for rising healthcare costs. You say “It’s obvious the GOP is to blame dummy” and well, yeah, to anyone who pays attention, but that’s nawt the average voter. Most people gotta touch the stove before they realize it’s hot.
10) So in conclusion, while my first instinct is to hate this “deal,” I understand why they did it, and in a couple months it just might prove to have been a cromulent strategy.
SonOfSpam
Jimbo
If the Commies are forced to name the new stadium after Trump, we should come up with some suggestions to help out
Paedolands Stadium is the best I’ve seen so far
Doktor Zymm
Yeah, I’m at fuckin’ Ikea.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Wow, there’s a fuckin’ Ikea? My wife used to drag me to the boring regular one in Burbank.
Jimbo
nick sirianni is a troll genius
-refuses to believe aj brown exists
-ignores that he has barkley late in the 4th with the lead
-oh! aj brown exists! ill throw it to him! on the dumbest 4th down imaginable!
-makes 1986-onwards mike ditka look competent
fleshwound_NPG
Hippo gets all the attention for being the DFO prescription opiate popper, but you don’t realize how much of a Hippo peer Brick is. Like tonight for instance.
Michael Caine voice: Not many people know that.
Brick Meathook
wipes away tear of pride
King Hippo
Night Folks.
I’ll be at the Dallas/Raider game next Monday night.
Spur
“Here’s the problem…it was set to ‘Browns’”
-repair guy, fixing the Eagles offense
SonOfSpam
Fuck everyone on the Eagles responsible for Saquon Barkley’s season. I fucking hate you Philly fucks. The one fucking time I need ANYTHING from your fucking miserable sports city and I have to watch the surest fucking thing you’ve ever had steps all over his balls every week while your autistic humanimal quarterback hoovers up cheap glory with an illegal play. FUCK I hate Pennsylvania.
Fronkenshteen
Day 2 in Mexico with BC Dick (and family) pray for my liver.
litre_cola
None of your gods can save you now.
BC Dick
Happy Veterans Day to those who served, Brick, Lemonjello, somebody was in the Army, Blax maybe? Anyone I’ve missed. And for any admins who have access to personal emails- can anyone find out what happened to 2pack? I’m afraid he’s in the other realm with Seamus, Viva, and Gumby. He was here every day, and then all of a sudden he was not. I miss him
Gumbygirl
I’ve talked to 2pack recently and he’s doing well, just taking an internet/social media break. I’m going to try and get lunch with him when I’m in Italy after Thanksgiving. He sends his best to all here!
Doktor Zymm
I never really liked the way the Starscream type transformed. Their tiny little face pissed me off. Also the wings in back were very cumbersome and would fall off too easily.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Micronauts toys were complete pieces of shit. Don’t know how many I broke. 12 year old me wasn’t the calm, collected, and peaceful man you see here before you today.
jjfozz
Unsurprised
I want to stuff you like an animal…
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
The chimney guys are finishing up today, and they’re inside putting in the new wood stove.
Mrs. Horatio has nothing to do today and is stalking them to the point that she may now be fluent in Spanish and can likely do an at least competent job rebuilding a chimney.
They are all getting tipped, and tipped well.
Horatio Cornblower
IT IS OUR [Senor Weaselo and Maestro] BIRTHDAY [Nov 13].
Happy birthday, buddy. Sending love to you and the missus!
Senor Weaselo
So many dropped balls.
Unsurprised
-Camp Counselor at the Catholic Summer Camp for Boys
LemonJello
Perhaps we could name Pete Carroll’s favorite conspiracy-related cover bands?
The Jack Ruby Tuesdays
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
[EDITOR: buckle up folks, this is the thread as in the comments. I couldn’t decide which comment(s) was/were the bestest, so took all of them. I tried to keep the formatting as in the thread, but prob fucked that up. This is why I love this site, y’all took a random thing and just riffed for a few hours. Amazing]
Bennie and the Jets Fuel Can’t Melt Steel Beams
BeefReeferLives
The Flat Earthers, Wind and Fire
Not to be confused with The Hollow Earth, Wind and Fire
LemonJello
The Byrds Aren’t Real
BeefReeferLives
Doobious Brothers
Downfield Matriculator
The Ben Ghazi Orchestra
LemonJello
We also would have accepted the Benghazi Folds Five
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Pet Shop Boys Who Are Trafficked By Wayfair
SonOfSpam
parenthetically related: The Ping Pong Pizza Shop Boys
BeefReeferLives
My Chemtrail Romance
LemonJello
The Jesus Lizard People
SonOfSpam
Paul Is Dead Can’t Dance
BeefReeferLives
FEMA Wants To Steal Your Crowded House
BeefReeferLives
The Replacement Presidents
jjfozz
911 (as opposed to 311)
311 Is An Inside Job
WCS
Kenny 5G Caused COVID
LemonJello
The Epstein Island Boys
WCS
Huey Lewis and The Fake News
SonOfSpam
The Wu-Han Clan
LemonJello
I look forward to reading all this again on Tuesday.
Redshirt
OANNarama
Gumbygirl
Velvet Underground Is Where The CHUDS Live
BeefReeferLives
Anti-Vax Halen
blaxabbath
The Brain-Dead Kennedy
LemonJello
The [Muslim] Presidents of the United States of America
blaxabbath
Has the [ ] cuz it wuz a SECRET
BeefReeferLives
Death Panel for Cutie
blaxabbath
Faith In The Government No More
blaxabbath
Chinese Lab Escape Plan
Doktor Zymm
Fluoride in the Water by Deep State Purple
Doktor Zymm
The Tyler Huntley as the Back-Up Parent explaining the birds and the bees in the new Progressive ad reminds me of the time my son asked me what sex was and I said “It’s about $100. Now move, I can’t see the Cowboys game through you.”
Horatio Cornblower
In the spirit of sexy Friday
Brocky
This is what happens when you lose control the narrative, ignore a problem and don’t do what your voters voted you in for.
While it would be hilarious if Trump got himself some Slick Willy, I doubt it. I kinda doubt he was involved with the illicit activities because if Epstein had proof, he would’ve threatened Trump with revealing them before he went to jail or would’ve made arrangements to have it released if “something happened” to him. Trump just doesn’t care about the Epstein Files; he only cares about himself.
However his supporters do care, and when people think you’re hiding something, they try to figure out what you’re hiding. Even if you are not hiding anything. And the more you deflect and deny and distract, the more people imagine why. And that why we got the mental image of Donald Trump giving Bill Clinton an old fashioned.
Although I hope I’m wrong.
https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/IMG_2452-1763170346.7401-300×266.jpeg
Redshirt
lol
rockingdog
DOOR FLIES OPEN
Denizens of the Clubhouse, I bid you good evening! I have successfully completed Phase 1 of the Christmas-ification of Fortress LemonJello since we will be traveling after Thanksgiving day (the traditional exterior decorating date). I did not fall off the ladder or roof, so I think that deserves a beer (or three).
DOOR FLIES SHUT
LemonJello
THIS LONGHORNS DEFENSE, I CALL THESE GUYS GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT BECAUSE THEY CAN’T MAKE A STAND
LemonJello
Having muffaletta for dinner. It’s toasting right now and smells amazing
Doktor Zymm
No baby yet. Now it’s late. At any rate got more choring done before it decides to arrive, so now I can watch Red Zone and Grey Cup guilt-free for the rest of today!
The Maestro
Rodgers just starting to fake injuries to avoid going to Thanksgiving with the family
Gatoraids
Wait, Brisket set the record for passing completions (47) in a game he lost by 19 points?
Bidwell’s sexuality aside, never change Arizona.
Mr. Ayo
Parkinson scored a TD for RAMMIT! It was shaky, but he made it.
LemonJello
The Arizona Cardinals will Salute to Service by wasting millions of dollars getting mired in an unwinnable contest of preparation and wits that serves only to profit the birthright leaders of their governing cartel. Many of their young men will not return home better than when they arrived at 0 Championship Way this morning.
blaxabbath
Girlzilla is on cheer for the first time, and the parents and coaches have a WhatsApp group. And oh my God, the moms are a bunch of unhinged lunatics. Basically, they’re hockey dads, but it feels pretty messed up since I’m the only man in the group
Wakezilla
*ahem *
Unsurprised
SMH I cant even enjoy the bears victory for half if a day…
Brocky
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
I don’t really watch Jeopardy anymore, my triumphant appearance there in 1998 having apparently sated that interest, but my daughter’s gotten into it and now I’ve started watching again and all I have to say is
Holy fuck I am so bad at this game now.
“Our niece is doing a polar plunge and wants us to sponsor her.”
“For what, being a trendy fucking dumbass?”
(We’re not sponsoring her.)
Only if she does it in a polar bear outfit.
I’m in for $25 if she plunges through a hole cut through 10″ thick ice.
She’s doing the plunge with a child she’s sponsoring, who has Downs Syndrome. So, I”m an insensitive asshole who is now sponsoring her for big money.
House passed the Epstein bill 427-1. When Rep. Higgins (R-LA) was asked why he voted no, he mentioned something about just coming back from a backpacking trip and not checking his emails and phone messages yet.
Is that the guy who is a literal caricature of the southern sheriff?
Uh no, it’s the guy that looks like a high school football coach whose has an unspoken agreement with the principal not to be near the cheerleaders locker room.
I feel like that agreement would have to be put in writing for him to honor it. Which he wouldn’t, anyway.
Not being able to read does get in the way.
But he is allowed to watch cheerleader practice, as long as he’s 100 yards away and wearing pants.
I believe he’s a former cop, and I know he’s a current asshole.
https://twitter.com/D468745270/status/1990633191917695432
TACO Tuesday.
https://katu.com/news/local/hundreds-of-national-guard-troops-deployed-to-portland-and-chicago-are-being-sent-home-trump-administration-antifa-fascism-ice-immigration-local-oregon-community
They were actually supposed to be sent home six weeks ago but the person responsible for sending the email with those orders had been furloughed during the shutdown.
The Aristocrats!
..
I like how Fox News is getting their information from fucking reddit.
At least it’s more reputable source than the trolls they usually get.
If it’s good enough for like 60% of ChatGPT’s inputs
Isn’t that from a few months ago?
It’s Facebook, so yeah, probably.
My point is that none of those networks have any integrity or honesty. The non-Fox networks were also actively concealing that Biden was senile since at least 2019, something which had a substantive effect on future outcomes and was especially funny given how many people shat on Trump for seeming senile until he passed his test. Acting like Fox alone is the problem or an outlier and not just one faction in an entire field that exists to lie to you to fuck you over is just doing a disservice to yourselves and others.
It’s like the Cheney thing. To paraphrase Dril, no, you don’t “gotta hand it to ISIS” because they also hate someone you hate. You’re giving the others credit for doing the bare minimum of their jobs that they should have been doing back when Trump ratted out Epstein during the first W administration and was first convicted in W’s second administration. If they had, maybe a certain ex governor I hate would never have been elected only to be facing scrutiny now by civil lawyers digging into whatever went down at another Epstein property. Or why every one of these networks suddenly lost interest in Epstein when he was arrested in 2019 and was even less interested after he ”killed himself.”
Fuck every one of these networks and everyone involved because now they have a profit and political motive in covering this shit.
I’m sorry, on what are you basing your assertion that he actually passed that test?
Just a shout out to Redshirt for correctly predicting we’d be reading about Pete’s conspiracy-related cover bands again today — like gd Nostradamus up in here!
Or maybe it’s a conspiracy and Redshirt is actually GTD!
I am not GTD. At least I think I’m not.
Einhorn is Finkle! Finkle is Einhorn!
Ciao tutti. Still on an internet break but I do check the GTD Cliff notes weekly to stay updated.
Be well.
Proof of life is provided here.
Molto bene
Kat and I are working on some Winter Olympics in Cortina prep. I’m thinking about previewing the Italian women’s ski team. I have history with both Cortina and the ladies ski team. I’ll talk with Balls about an article for the dead week before the Superb Owl as possible filler.
Stay frosty.
She looks familiar. Too familiar.
But Tex says that line.
I’m glad you’re not dead! We miss you around here
Amazon is also En Espanol. In fact, everything football except Red Zone
There were some other band names outside that comment thread. Just go back and read everything from that post’s comments
Giants pass rusher Abdul Carter, also seen in that WWE video, was benched Sunday after sleeping through a walk-through. Carter denied he was asleep and said he was “actually doing recovery.”
I’ve gotta steal that excuse. Imma go do recovery for a couple hours
Of course Skattebo was wearing a Matt Rempe jersey too. Another New York athlete trying to speedrun CTE.
I think Skattebo is trying to do the CTE version of Rebirth in Tetris, where you complete Level 255 and the counter rolls over to Level 0.
Well, I think the “Trump blowing Bubba” email jokes have run its course.
Is ‘Bubba’ Ghislaine Maxwell’s horse? Bizarre claim emerges amid Epstein email mentioning Trump
I stand corrected.
I think “Death Panel for Cutie” is my favorite of the bunch. Also, inspired by WCS:
911 is an Inside Job in Your Town
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZDIitWz8Go
I’m still reeling over how spectacularly bad the Raiders looked last night – particularly the offensive line. How on earth did this team win two games, and come within an eyelash of winning two more?
Temu brand Shield Assist
The Raiders have an offensive line?
No, they do. The Raiders’ line is offensive.
Pictured in action:
Except the arms need to be spinning faster.
We talked about this, Jeeeem. It’s a “theory” of an offensive line, the same way that vaccine shedding is a “theory”.
RAAAAAIIIIII DUUUUUUUUUURS defeated TEN 20-10. Saving grace: I had a feeling* and skipped that game to socialize
* dread + cabin fever