Look, FFS. It’s what we GOT, so we might as well make the best of it.
King’s Afrikan Water Pistols regained their mojo, at least for the North London Derby. Handsome Mikel’s men get another, even bitterer rival this week (Chelski on Sunday, 11:30 (Peacock)), so maybe their blood stays up. Unless City of Men falter today at Leeds (12:30, NBC), a win will be absolutely necessary.
Think of it this way – functionally, Arsenal lead by 2 (at least when you factor in games played/in hand). They go to the The House That Pep Built on 18 April, meaning that – as things stand, they need to at least take a point from that harrowing test. Otherwise, they need to win every weekend that City does. You really, REALLY don’t want to have “City away” as a must-win on the old bingo card.
Are Spurs really slipping into a relegation scrap? I still think not. Yes, they are shit. But they basically would have to stay on this horrid run of form (an anti-purple patch?) AND have Robins Hood play like a top half side the rest of the way AND have Rum Ham match or exceed that. That is…not bloody likely, mate.
Still, they get Sunday morning’s TV treatment (9:00, USA), away to Fulham. Should we dub this the Stephen Miller Derby? I mean, there’s just SO MUCH WHITE, as far as the eye can see.
More imminently, at least we get an early bird on Saturday, even if it is just Black Cats at Cherries (7:30, USA). And the 10:00 window is so bad that one likely has to suffer through Toffees at Geordie Arabia (Peacock) with Hippo. No promises that Other Hippo will watch with us, though. Guaranteed hiding.
If you are so inclined, pour one out for Villa, the Midlands cunts who collapsed down the stretch yet again (losers at Wolves – yes, WOLVES – yesterday).
Also, may this song stick in your mind like it has mine all week. Because it FUCKS, y’all.
I want to visit the Snowflake Bently museum in Jericho
Snowflake Bently sounds like some sort of Magamobile.
Oh God. Keeley.
Hey, so this is important. As we get older, we are losing muscle mass. So, we actually need to work out. However, it’s not enough to do full body weightlifting workouts because I saw this and realized that as men we have seriously forsaken our flexibility. This guy is jacked and getting absolutely ass kicked in a fairly easy Pilates class because he’s exercising parts of his body he NEVER exercised. And I’ll bet all the money in my pockets that flexibility and tone helps prevent or abate injuries like falls as much as muscle strength.
https://youtube.com/shorts/quAkEzONo00?si=hBxav_1eixE46J0Y
Cardio is not to be forgotten.
That and the ability to push through the pain threshold.
Read a great article about the women’s cross country skiers and that’s beyond anything I’ve ever attempted.
There was a Hans and Franz sort of about that but I can’t find it
https://youtu.be/GAalP0jeqV4
Very excited to be headed out tonight to see Alejandro Escovedo at a 300-seat venue in the middle of goddamn nowhere, (unofficial alternate name for Norfolk, CT), with some friends.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIzp2pntsZg
Good shit, although I’ll be the first to admit it’s no Bridgerton.
Will there be bridgerton watched tonight while having olive garden? Yes, yes there will.
*16 year old me died*
Is it this one?
https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/us-man-kills-himself-by-plunging-head-into-hot-deep-fryer-at-olive-garden-restaurant-10957735
Saw that! Wow
Cheapest Meal in College?:
1 can of chicken broth
1 cup egg noodles
1 can of peas (was slightly cheaper than a can of corn)
1 very small serving of mustard, ketchup and/or relish (so that the housemates couldn’t tell that I was stealing from them)
That’s a hearty meal that might cost .75 per serving
You couldn’t just snag sauce packets from various fast food restaurant visits?
Walk straight into a McDonalds or Burger King? I still had my dignity.
There’s a place in Southern California called The Hat and they have packets of every condiment under the sun. They have like three different kinds of mustard.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1vXmfvosF6M
I would expect that sort of generoUsity from a Canadian restaurant!
I did a batch of rice weekly with some Del Taco packets of hot sauce in the lean 20’s.
Served me just fine.
How many ounces or pounds of “fresh meat” do you use?
Napoli won
Gotta keep em all guessing
https://thehill.com/policy/defense/5750716-pentagon-pizza-report-hegseth/
Over the years I have (only half) joked that the best way to lay a real mind fuck on our adversaries is to just invite them to our planning sessions. They would leave that not knowing if they were on foot or horseback.
My father still speaks highly of the Army Intelligence briefings they got in Vietnam.
Apparently the issue was they needed more tanks. A few more tanks and we’da won that sucker!!
Checking out our location in Paris and holy shit we’re in the middle of everything. There will be wine and butter and cheese.
Maybe time to get my Canadian wear prepared.
I could live off of just the bread cheese there.
Or instead, you can honestly present yourself and if they judge you for the actions of your country you can retaliate by blaming whoever it is personally for the atrocities commited by France across history in their colonies or via Napoleon or the Terror or against the Cree in Quebec or etc etc
I usually go with being a resident of the free and independent nation of California and that usually works.
Half of the folks I say that to believe it.
The independent nation thing not the being from California thing.
That’s pretty self evident.
Easier to wear the damn maple leaf.
In all seriousness though, I really hate the whole ‘pretending to be Canadian’ thing. It’s shitty on a number of levels
Which
arondiss arrondissm arandismneighborhood are you in?3rd. We’re in city center Les Marais. Walking distance to everything.
Um? A red card for the Leeds manager? Have I got that right?
Apropos of nothing, I just heard former Penguin Shawn McEachern is 57 today. He was one of my favorite Pens when I was a kid, and I feel really old now.
I liked him on the video game? Or I am just imagining that.
But can you make Gretzky’s head bleed?
Now in NHL-licensed T-shirt form!
I didn’t pay any attention to hockey until I was around 14, when the Pens drafted Pierre Larouche. He was only 4 or 5 years older than me, and very cute in that Canadian hockey player way.
I’ll be 57 in a couple of months, so fuck you for this.
Man City’s goal differential is tapping its foot impatiently.
I just recall that one year when Man City was chasing another team (Pool of Bile?) and were piling on the goals at the same time so that they would eke out the title were they to be exactly square on points.
there is a very reasonable chance both y’all and Los Pistoleros are boat racing for GD down the stretch
/checks if Mighty Whitey plays either on the run in.
My word! That young woman in the photograph is more beautiful than Mary of Teck! I shall send her a telegram at once!
Very nervous times in the conquest for glory at the moment, with the City of Men gaining ground on Those That Are Right. Choosing to support on a band of misfits from Yorkshire to prevail leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth, but I can assure you, most of the food that I was offered by Zulu defectors tasted much worse!
Somebody send a message-in-bottle down to DonT, tell him to have a cigarette on Hippo’s behalf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVkcFCe1iaA
Best I can do.
Watch Der Klassiker instead. Always güt.
ja! ja!
Those top Jerry clubs play a nice brand of football. Too bad proficiency on the pitch does not translate to winning wars!
You say too bad, I say we’re good with that.
This bout is a good one sir. 1 nil bumblebees at the halbe
Leave it to an Englishman to level the score in Deutschland.
As is proper!
To be really fitting he’d need a credited assist from an American while a Russian did all the heavy lifting.
Sometimes it feels weird to wake up to another dystopian day in our nation’s capital and be like, “welp, don’t know how to change this when so many of our fellow citizens are fucking fine with the madness, so I guess I’ll go for a walk?”
I stand by my assessment that as long as the U.S. economy chugs merrily along, not enough people will care.
Yeah which is exactly my problem. We’re in a full white supremacist kleptocracy, and that seems to be fine for all the (mainly white) frogs in the boiling pot of water.
Don’t forget kakistocracy
Always were.
That’s fragile
Finally, a chance to wear this shirt!
Wife volunteering her free time again today, making me look bad. I’m curious to know what her long-term agenda is.
Her own suite in heaven obvs!!
Probably angling for the higher-end bidet as well. So calculating!
That’s something worth calculating for
Yeah, but you like math. Me? Not so much.
Haaland has an ouchie and is not traveling with the team
https://www.espn.com/soccer/story/_/id/48062103/erling-haaland-left-man-city-squad-trip-leeds
Probably just doesn’t want to go to Leeds.
I mean, it’s basically a bye week.
Thanks for the jinx.
/draft idea-bands/artists you thought were going to be massive
Gimme a pick to go with it. I have two in mind already.
The Payolas and you can throw in Eyes of a Stranger if’n you want.
He hates Newcastle
And he hates the Shite!
Jordan Pickford is fookin’ dynamite!
Anyone check in on teh Hippo?
Status: Tumescent.
He won’t be needing opiates today!
He’ll still take ’em, mind you.
I mean, an ounce of prevention yada yada
Just an ounce though? C’mon, man.
Much like Jesus Jones I thought these guys were going to be enormous. Such a clear, concise sound, great lyrics-what’s not to like?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kMRT7tt-dw
https://apnews.com/article/washington-dol-spanish-accent-ai-3a1b8438a5674c07242a8d48c057d5a3
I hope it was ridiculous Spanish accent like Pacino in Scarface.
Pacino isn’t Latino?!
Ah, but Pacino was doing a bad Cuban accent, meng.
.
What did we do to deserve early Talking Heads? Trick question-we don’t deserve them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJdPS4RYzWM
Reminder – Nick Pope is absolute pants.
Like, well-fitting slacks or MC Hammer balloon disasters?
/I haven’t heard pantsing as a verb in forever.
That’s cuz we don’t wear them.
Eddie Howe needed a little more penetration.
SERIOUSLY, some PHRASING HERE???
Well this sure makes International travel more interesting.
Don’t make me retire early. I was just getting used to the scheduling.
This idiot country.
I don’t know what infuriates more: starting World War III to avoid facing consequences for your actions both past and present, wearing a hat to make an international address, wearing a hat indoors, or wearing a white hat with a dark suit!
but but but TAN SUIT such disrespect smgdh
I heard one time he got so uppity he put Dijon on a hotdog like a rich person. The utter gall! #notmypresident
At least it wasn’t ketchup-that would have been a war crime.
-ppl from Chicago.
I’ve looked at thousands of recipes over the decades and I’ve yet to come across one that said that a ‘Sport Pepper’ was essential. Stop being precious with your ingredients, Chicago.
I think he’s wearing the hats because he’s now lost so much hair that even the previous ridiculous hairstyling can’t cover it up.
My theory:
A caveat to Hippo’s boycott – if Murrika gets banned from the World Cup (never happen in a billion years), Hippo will watch after all.
Me waking up to see the Middle East on fire (Artistic Interpretation)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSqluFzkG6I&pp=ygUNY2xlcmtzIDIgZmlyZdIHCQm-CgGHKiGM7w%3D%3D
GET IN, you giant ginger beauty!!!
“Operation Epic Fury”? Really? Jesus, even Elisha could have come up with a less juvenile and cringeworthy name than that.
I guess he’s saving Operation Massive Throbbing Member for when he attacks California?
My only, tiny hope for today is that Anthony Fuckface Gordon doesn’t score.
and that concludes the viewing portion of the west ham game
I feel terrible for the hapless sound guy in this video.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/1rgpr3m/the_air_horn_at_little_caesars_arena_has_been/
To be clear, I mainly feel bad for him because the Dr. Mrs. wasn’t attendance to offer dozens of helpful suggestions despite having zero experience in any related field.
That is, after she has demanded contextual information about the situation so she could understand it better, and questioned his reasoning for the actions he did choose to take so far.
What the hell? The version that you hear of Edmund Fitzgerald was the very first take.
And of course, I just got rid of all my Ayatollah Assaholla shirts
You guys doing war again? I refuse to watch any news that doesnt come out of DPRK.
War, what is it good for? Business.
Hey, if it distracts him from murdering Americans for a few weeks…
Good God y’all
FIFA might want to ask for that peace prize back.
Wolves winning is hilarious.
We must support Liverpool today, and Might Whitey tomorrow if we wish Spurs to go down. Plus the happiness of two in the clubhouse which is nice.
I think Leeds is firing right now and could get a pointbout of Citeh. The fact Citeh have to play Los Blancos in the Shemps Lge is a big advantage for the Water Pistols.
NO NO NO NO NO
FUCKING HELL TO THE FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Greater good Hippo. Greater good.
Look, having seen Everton’s XI…Hippo be grumpy tha fuck enough already. Don’t make me unleash OTHER HIPPO….
I can admit it was early and I was wrong. Need the Hammers to win. Oops.
#AllYourFault (obvs)
Wolves have been playing everyone tough of late. They beat the living Christ out of us, 0-3, and grabbed a 2-2 draw v Arsenal at home a few weeks ago, too. Dumped some higher-priced guys like Jurgen Strand Larsen and replaced them with young, RAW, attacking talent or just found another player named “Gomes” to fill the vacancy. They’re approaching a half-dozen Gomes’ in the starting 11 at this point: Hugo, Santiago, Jonny, Joao, Stevie Ray, and Zeppo.
they were legitimately good yesterday, too
Thinking I might toss $5 on duke just to hex them
I DO THAT TOO! I’m such a Mush.
You’re my favorite Mush. Don’t tell the others.
I’m full to the brim with sugar and caffeine and watching a Gordon Lightfoot doc, waiting for a song about some damn ship.
Napoli is looking like they’re going to be in the champions league top four, but likely no title this season. Inter is starting to pull away with it. And Marika hasn’t been on much… Ho hum indeed.
your local back in B Series, at least?
Yeah 9 pts to safety does nae look likely. However the Scottish invasion of A Series is lovely to see.
Probably next year. They are tearing up Series C for consecutive years so promotion looks likely.
I thought Pisa was your club. The scarf on my wall says so.
A second luv…