Monday Morning Mock Draft: This Is Sports Center

Guten Tag, drones.

Most of us here, in fact likely all of us whose screen names don’t rhyme with, uh, with, um, uh, ‘Breadshirt,’ yeah, that’s it!  are old enough to remember when ESPN first came into public consciousness, largely through showing things like weird sports like rodeo, strong man competitions, and anything involving women.

I kid, I kid, but back then it was kinda weird.

ESPN was also known for, and in fact probably became a success because of, Sports Center.  Sports Center was basically what would happen if your evening news was nothing but sports, and if your local news guy was probably on something, and also if the local news never stopped providing sports highlights, morning, noon, or night.

Sports Center featured personalities like Tom Mees, Dan Patrick, Keith Olberman, Stuart Scott, and many others.

(doesn’t mention Chris Berman because is betting Berman searches for his own name, and not seeing it listed here will, inshallah, (makes several dozen FBI lists), kill him)

Now, of course, ESPN is know for discussing football, morning, noon, and night, all day every day, winter, spring, summer and fall, pausing only for frequent interruptions where Stephen A. Smith screams at people.  ESPN kind of sucks now, and would be better served going back to the olden days, and also getting off my lawn.

But I digress.

Sports Center eventually also led to a series of promos called ‘This Is Sports Center,’ where various sports and sports-related personalities would wander through the ESPN campus in scenic (HA!) Bristol, CT, creating all sorts of chaos while promoting the brand like it was their job.

Which it was.  I mean, that’s kind of what advertising is.

This week we draft your favorite of those ads.

The rules are simple, even for you people.

What do I mean, “you people”?  I mean anyone reading this and wanting to participate in this draft.  No, you’re the racist.

Anyway, the rules are simple.  It has to be a ‘This Is Sports Center’ ad and you have to like it.  Make your pick, then wait ten picks or 30 minutes before making another.

My most favoritest of these ads was the interoffice gossip one, where Stuart Scott gets Evander Holyfield looking to whup Charlie Steiner, while Dan Patrick less than subtly suggests that Karl Ravech might be banging Mrs. Met.  To Mr. Met.  There’s just something about “Charlie come on out and get your whuppin’” that always cracked me up.

The rest of you are on the clock.