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Your Monday Evening Open Thread

scotchnaut

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Hey Buttercups, what say you? This will be quite short as I am in possession of a rumbly belly and things aren’t getting better.

I hope you’re not overindulging on the socials this last wee bit because it’s hell out there. (I’m pretty sure-nope, I know for sure)

Help yourself to stay sane, if you can.

Stuff:

-things are starting to happen in dribs and drabs in the football world so we’ll take a look.

-The Lions traded David Montgomery (Gibbs does need the ball more and I don’t think DM can get more valuable than he is now) to the Texans for Juice Scruggs, a handful of mouth harps and a washboard to be named later.

-The Commies are cutting ties with former shutdown corner Lattimore, who seems to be very close to his expiration date.

-The Chiefs are freeing up 20 million in cap space by letting Jawaan Taylor be free as a bird. Word is that the same will happen to tight end Noah Gray, regardless of what the news is on Kelce. And so it should be, the former is quite the non-descript player.

Tube Watching:

-Hippo’s Wolven sort are at home to #1 Duke and everyone with any sanity is pulling for the Pack. You can do it NC State!

-The Leafs have a home date vs Philly and hopefully will crash and burn like an F-15.

That’s all I’ve got. Donations of Gravol are more than welcome, I’m going to bed I think.

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Col. Duke LaCross

The new season of Shoresy is excellent!
DRINKIN’ BEERS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5lXjc8C3DQ

4
Mr. Ayo

The back vs fours masturbating debate isn’t the new sit vs stand shitting phenomenon right?

1
Unsurprised

Supervillain secretary excellence

https://youtube.com/shorts/FIVM9ITR7Ws?si=DQja1GdJACYaBFxd

0
Unsurprised

What an ass.

https://youtu.be/eF9AC2Ce2ow?t=72

0
Brick Meathook

Gruyere cheese French omelet with fries (omelet not shown)

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5
Brick Meathook

Rolleiflex 2.8E twin lens reflex camera and Leica IIIf rangefinder camera, with Rollei flash reflector in the background.

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2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, I’m too tired to be funny, so off to bed. I’ll try not to dream of you.

3
blaxabbath

Tucson is a world class city.

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5
ballsofsteelandfury

I mention that in my World Cup preview post. It’s hilarious!

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litre_cola

Texans for Juice Scruggs, a handful of mouth harps and a washboard to be named later.

This is just incredible.

4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Juice Scruggs absolutely sounds like the most made up part of that list.

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SonOfSpam

His Uncle Earl would be mighty proud of him.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQIJuu3N5EY&list=RDyQIJuu3N5EY&start_radio=1&pp=ygUgc2NydWdncyBmb2dneSBtb3VudGFpbiBicmVha2Rvd26gBwE%3D

Last edited 1 month ago by SonOfSpam
1
SonOfSpam

(everyone in this video is having a nice time, but apparently Paul Shaffer hogged all the coke)

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Gumbygirl

Leon Russell is /was cool.

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SonOfSpam

Yeah, gone too soon like a lot of people who aren’t Trump.

1
jjfozz

My middle son comes into the house on Friday.

“Mom, guess what I had a cheeseburger today.”
“It’s Lent!”
“I’m kidding. I had two.”

6
blaxabbath

DQPwC?

0
Mr. Ayo

A supervillain that can ensure my floors are clean? More like the hero we all need.

2
blaxabbath

Arizona looks like they’ve got COVID.

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SonOfSpam

Can’t
Overcome
Vanilla
Iowa
Dudes

5
Doktor Zymm

Nsfw maths – whoever created the cumtrapz function (it’s cumulative trapezoid) had to have realized and called it that on purpose yeah?

2
SonOfSpam

Just like when that guy created the Associative Reamortization function (it’s really important in the mortgage industry).

2
Brick Meathook

Lovesong The Cult tribute:

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Brick Meathook

Wow, these are grown men.

I guess they tell themselves each night “Hey I’m getting paid.”

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Brick Meathook

See if you can match them up:

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ballsofsteelandfury

They won’t match up because some of the original members are either no longer with the band or no longer in this world.

2
litre_cola

Still incredible live to this day.

1
SonOfSpam

Probably getting more ass than a toilet seat.

(chuckling at the 50something lass bragging about hooking up with Robert Smith of The Cult)

1
BC Dick

Would you rather be reincarnated as the toilet seat at a chili cook off in a Houston fairground or a meatloaf concert. That is also in Houston.

I just think if we measured it, objectively and with precision and care, Houston would have the worst shits in the world

1
SonOfSpam

Not sure about the methodology used here, but the conclusion is bulletproof.

1
NotShogunButShogun

The cult? Ian astbury?

1
SonOfSpam

No, Robert Smith was in The Cult.

(if that seems wrong, please review the previous several years’ worth of posts on this site)

4
litre_cola

Gumbygirl is the expert in the Cure for the Cult.

Funnily enough was what I put forward as the title for our next telethon to pay for the servers on this here site.

3
BC Dick

No, that’s got to be a fake name.

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Gumbygirl

“Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up”. My late husband Gumby didn’t like the Cure, but I love them, so he tried to do a nice thing and get us tickets to see them, but bought tickets to see the Cult by mistake.

3
Horatio Cornblower

Hey, Christopher Titus is still alive.

1
Brick Meathook

Christopher Titus fronts his own Christopher Titus tribute band.

1
2Pack

Live emo pop punk night sounds like a great time and place to meet chicks…

1
Doktor Zymm

Blood moon eclipse tomorrow night. I’m sure that’s not an omen or anything

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5
blaxabbath

Seems about on point.

1
Doktor Zymm

Today in “Aging, wtf?”
I seem to have mildly sprained my big toe by getting into a high SUV

4
Gumbygirl

Getting into a SUV high seems more likely.

0
King Hippo

Hippo did not watch, and my ass STILL hurts

4
Jimbo

Maybe you need moar fiber.

3
SonOfSpam

Or he should take that thing out of his ass. Two days is plenty.

2
Mr. Ayo

Some stupid hurricane got lost not realizing the season is over. That can be fixed. RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!

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4
BC Dick

Taylor is a penalty machine so that makes sense. But who replaces him? The lines are what makes winners. The shit teams year after year neglect the skill players who put their hand in the dirt

2
Doktor Zymm

Fine by me if the Chefs continue down the shit teams road

1
BC Dick

I don’t mind KC so much. I think Andy Reid is a guy who has a good time.
Sure their QB is a turd and their star receiver (TE) is an insufferable douche but that’s true for almost any team in football.
At least they don’t constantly cheat and French kiss their young sons and abuse Floridian sex slaves. Or are Dallas.

3
Doktor Zymm

I’m just nawt a fan of dynasties, they’ve been around long enough that it’s boring and annoying to watch them succeed

1
BC Dick

But that makes it so much sweeter when they eventually faceplant into the metaphorical trailer hitch, no?
We need sports villains who make awful insurance ads and have awful wives and hate their families. Without them, we’re just cheering for our group of mentally feeble god-fearing violent criminals to beat theirs so our pedo billionaire owner can make enough money to pay off his half-dozen sex crime accusers.
I need more than just the win. I need to know that someone I dislike for their geographical location is unhappy because of it.

3
Jimbo

.

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SonOfSpam

I dunno, Kobe’s aircraft were pretty deadly.

7
blaxabbath

I sure hope the dumb TV show government is as good at winning wars in Iran as they are at protecting elderly Americans like Nancy Guthrie who just want to sleep safely in their own beds

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m glad that Kash Patel never gave up the search and even took the FBI jet all the way to Torino to look for clues.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

What’s the update on your tumtum?

0
blaxabbath

My CATS are hosting the #4 ISU Cyclones tonight. Already secured the ‘share’ of the conference title with a win over Kansas this last weekend.

Arizona IS Big12 Basketball.

0
SonOfSpam

They’re taking the PAC12 demotion pretty well.

2
blaxabbath

Larry Scott was basically Trump 47 for the ends of the PAC-12.

2
Doktor Zymm

I’m trying a new thing where my diet consists primarily of premium ice cream. Going well so far, and I’ve already discovered a couple brands that are tastier than my previous favorite.
1) Ice Cream For Bears: only tried the honey swirl flavor so far but goddamn it’s good
2) Alec’s Ice Cream: also quality, they seem to have rotating flavors which is great cuz the old ones go on sale
3) Strauss Creamery: traditional style ice cream, like Haagendaaz but smaller scale and based in Sonoma

Trying a new one today –
Emerald Irish Ice Cream: they have a brown butter flavor and also an irish whisky flavor. Can’t wait!

6
Brick Meathook

What is the unhealthiest ice cream?

AI Overview:

The “unhealthiest” ice cream is typically a combination of high calories, sugar, and saturated fat, often found in rich flavors and bars like Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup (pint level), loaded with fat, sugar, and calories, or dense bars like Snickers/Klondike, while even “diet” options like some Halo Top flavors can be highly processed with high sodium and artificial ingredients, making moderation key. The unhealthiest choices often feature artificial additives, excessive sugar, and large amounts of saturated fat from heavy cream and oils.

What is Travis Kelce’s favorite ice cream?

AI Overview:

Travis Kelce enjoys various ice creams, with recent highlights including Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter Ice Cream and praising Cold Stone Creamery’s Cake Batter flavor (especially with mix-ins like brownies, caramel, and fudge) alongside his brother Jason.While he’s known for a Trader Joe’s run and a love for specific flavors, he famously disliked a Cincinnati chili-flavored ice cream collaboration between Graeter’s and Skyline Chili, despite his brother’s enjoyment.  

What is Oprah’s favorite ice cream?

AI Overview:

Oprah Winfrey’s favorite ice cream is Graeter’s, a Cincinnati-based company known for its French Pot method and chunky flavors, especially Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip, though she’s also mentioned Butter Pecan and featured other brands like Clementine’s Creamery and Ample Hills Creamery on her “O List”. Graeter’s became famous after Oprah called it “the best ice cream I’ve ever tasted,” causing a massive sales boom.  

In what state is it illegal to eat ice cream after 6pm?

AI Overview:

New Jersey: It’s illegal to purchase ice cream after 6 p.m.

2
Doktor Zymm

Purchasing and eating are legally distinct. DO BETTER AI

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does the first company offer a salmon flavor?

2
Doktor Zymm

Not yet!

0
BC Dick

Never been a big ice cream guy but I have fond memories of a bubblegum flavour the dairy farm a town over from where I grew up makes. I got my fingers bit by a donkey there one year.
My sister, litre cola’s boss, likes tiger. That’s a good one too.
Now I think I’d go mint chocolate chip

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Are you sure it wasn’t a møøse?

2
litre_cola

The orange part of tiger is delicious, the licorice stuff is brutal.

1
Redshirt

Food poisoning sucks. Jersey Mikes has made a powerful enemy…assuming I get to the point where my stomach stops being a cul-de-sac.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKqGXeX9LhQ&pp=ygUfdGVhbSBhbWVyaWNhIHdvcmxkIHBvbGljZSB2b21pdA%3D%3D

5
Unsurprised

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WCS

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BeefReeferLives

Ugh. Sorry to hear that. Barfing is no fun.

Hope it stops & you feel better soon…

1
Horatio Cornblower

“Eh, it has its moments”

-K. Carpenter

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

GET OUTTA THE STREET, YA FUCKIN’ BUM!

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