Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
We’re into the crazy March weather. a few days ago it was -20 plus ( minus?) the windchill. This weekend, the forecast is for 10 and might rain. Soooo good with that forecast.
Looking forward to not backing out of a tunnel made of snow everyday.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

Brocky
Earlier this month, I was coming to grips with my awareness that I am in the “Waiting to Die” stage of life. I have quit trying to attract or connect (even for sexual congress). Don’t really lookforward to anything, and not interesting in making any plans. I don’t even wallow in regret anymore – just no longer give a single, solitary fuck. I’ve played my hand, now just in God’s little waiting room.
I mean, better than beating my head against the wall trying to change anything.
It’s fine, though. So long as we keep getting FITBAW SEASON on the regular, I can manage.
King Hippo
All I can say is that I dearly love interacting with you here and by text. I’ve found that volunteering here and there has helped me overcome similar leanings because it’s still possible to make a positive impact in the world and when feeling low I can focus on that. There are still amazing books to be read and felines to care for and offspring to proffer advice to.
scotchnaut
Advice for Hippo: Something will surprise you. You wanna be ready for it by being alive and kicking. (Note: Surprise may be bad, but it will be interesting.)
Alternatively, I keep a list of places I wanna go but probably never will. In the last 10 years, I’ve been to Vancouver (lovely), NYC (holy shit did I ever fuck up by not going their sooner), and Europe (same only moreso), and I’m gonna see/do other stuff. You should go see stuff you haven’t. Like Angel Stadium! Or Venice (CA or Italy)! Or a “match” at an English “football” “pitch” where you can “snog” a “fag” or two. Yeah, Hippo has stuff to do as soon as Hippo realizes it.
SonOfSpam

Don T
Damnit Rikki. There are better ways to stop the vacuuming
https://www.cnbctv18.com/technology/security-flaw-allows-man-to-accidentally-gain-control-of-nearly-7000-robot-vacuums-ws-l-19856941.htm/amp
Sharkbait
So the whole premise of this movie is Denzel knows a guy who loses his pension, $366,400, to cyber hackers.
Denzel tracks them down, breaks into their cash room, which contains millions of dollars, kills everybody, then gets involved with a Mafiosi drug cartel, kills all of them, the anonymously returns the guy’s exact pension amount, $366,400, to him.
Denzel, if you went to all that trouble maybe, I don’t know, grab an extra backpack in the cash house and triple the guy up. You’re there anyway.
Horatio Cornblower

Jimbo
Favorite niece probably made it home to Maine tonight after a full 2 day delay.
Just having the extra day with her and her husband, both some of my favorite people, was a joy.
She got a free trip to Disneyland out of it.
Probably not a standard United Airlines perk and more one of her aunts having access perk but still.
It’s so quiet and yet after 4 months we have new upstairs neighbors and so far they don’t wear shoes inside!
Got my rental address in Paris and it’s fucking sweet.
Yeah. Here we go!
yeah right
A Giants site that I frequent asked its visitors where they lived. “A Perpetual World of Hurt” was not accepted as a valid answer.
scotchnaut
Hey, Horatio, did you leave this someplace?
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfffffffluuuuuuuuuuuu/comments/1reixpq/my_buddy_a_native_texas_resident_and_avid_cowboy
BrettFavresColonoscopy
True WCS Fact:
When the ex-wifey was in med school or whatever it was at Penn, we lived in the Mt. Airy neighborhood of Philly. There was a Mt. Airy/Germantown/Chestnut Hill neighborhoods festival of some kind in spring 2013. They had a chili cook-off for anyone to enter. Out of 14 or 15 entrants, I took bronze with mine. That is, and will probably remain, the peak of my “cooking” career.
This has been your latest Useless WCS Fact.
WCS
I bet mob Vegas was way more fun than corporate Vegas. If I was paying full price for any of this I would be super pissed
Doktor Zymm
Ciao tutti
2Pack
CLASSIC Tchakuk scumbaggery on display in Ottawa! Would be ASHAMED to be a fan of a ANY team he’s on.
herodotus450
Here’s the facts: Tkahuck hits himself in the face with his own stick, goes down to the ice, bleeding. One of his braindead teammates, who probably has a bet on the Over on penalty minutes in the game, instigates a fight on Tckachuks behalf. Then Thakuck gets 10 minute misconduct penalty for it!
herodotus450
Someone tweeted that “no matter what color medal Brady Tkachuk wins, he’s gonna spend the first 30 minutes trying to unwrap the chocolate underneath”
Horatio Cornblower
real american muscle cars
Gatoraids
My word! That young woman in the photograph is more beautiful than Mary of Teck! I shall send her a telegram at once!
Very nervous times in the conquest for glory at the moment, with the City of Men gaining ground on Those That Are Right. Choosing to support on a band of misfits from Yorkshire to prevail leaves a bad taste in one’s mouth, but I can assure you, most of the food that I was offered by Zulu defectors tasted much worse!
Cecil Rhodes
Heading back home early, had a great cab driver so that’s ending the trip on a good note! He used to work in the casinos as the guy in the video booth watching all the gambling, said it was really stressful and driving a cab is way better for mental health which I believe
Doktor Zymm
Been a busy few days, missing out on the fun here at DFO.
Not only am I back, I’m here all night; 16 hours of call-taking shenanigans… yay…
600 years ago, Miss Saudi Arabia would be part of the royal harem. Very well might be today. Good to know we’ve made so much progress as a society and species.
How are yinz?
WCS
Hey, we have some American casualties in Iran. Neat.
SonOfSpam
We now go live with reaction from the WH.
Jimbo
Karmic Payback Alert:
I made mention of wifey volunteering and making me look bad. Well, well, well-guess who has a debilitating cold? That’ll teach you for interacting with the hoi polloi without my permission!
scotchnaut
Oh no, did she get second-hand CTE.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/senate-candidate-michele-tafoya-wildly-015813672.html
Jimbo
“second-hand CTE” is a genius euphemism. Muchas gracias.
Unsurprised
/speaking of Mennonites, here’s a weird exchange that a buddy of mine-a farmer-had with a guy
Buddy: “So sorry to hear about your oldest son.” (he had passed away in an accident on the farm)
Mennonite Dad: “It’s ok, I’ve got nine more children.”
Unpack that! I’ve got a few notions.
scotchnaut
His poor wife
Doktor Zymm
/late one night (about 7:25PM) in an Mennonite bedroom
Jacob: [long underwear all the way down to his mid-thighs, undershirt still on] “Oh Hannah, the smell of flour in your hair is making me feel unruly in my desires!”
Hannah: “Jacob, you know I’ve been preparing bread dough for our sisters and brothers when we meet on the Sabbath two days hence.”
Jacob: “Much like the yeast in your dough, my staff is rising.”
Hannah: “You’ve been much like my dishwater recently-tepid and uninteresting.”
Jacob: “I’ve recently been at stud and been feeling warmish in the nether regions.”
Hannah: [sighs] “Tis springtime after all.”
scotchnaut
Rocking note:
73% of americans supported the war in iraq in 2003 — two years after 9/11 and two years of the bush administration making the case for it. this will be different, iran’s in much worse shape to begin with, but it’s starting wildly unpopular and will only get worse with consequences
rockingdog
73% of the 836 water heads who were willing to answer a phone survey from a strange number in 2003. They’d probably buy you a few hundred in gift cards if you said you were their grandson, too.
BC Dick
Men. Oh, men.
Mrs. Horatio is going through some shit right now. Exactly what is not my story to tell but the important thing is that none of it is my fault. And really, that’s the important thing here.
Nonetheless, we have been a team since 1992, (legally 1995 but when you know, you know), and a team we shall continue to be.
My solution to this above not-mentioned issues was “hey why don’t you drive me to me favorite brewery and watch me drink, because you don’t, and then I’ll take you out for BBQ and you can get high while we wait for our food?”
Mrs. Horatio seconded the motion, beers were consumed, BBQ consumed, and absolutely nothing got solved, not could it, but the important thing is, again, none if it is my fault. And I was supportive and paid for dinner. And that’s what marriage is about. Or something. I don’t know. All I’m sure of is Don’s writing sure is better than Scotchnaut’s.
I might be buzzing pretty good.
Horatio Cornblower
Butt piñata!
ballsofsteelandfury
BALLS, BALLS NO!!! THAT IS NOT HOW YOU BREAK THE PINATA!! FOR GOD’S SAKE THERE ARE CHILDREN PRESENT!!!
Horatio Cornblower
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)







Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.