Hola, hola. I’m so glad to be here, among many film buffs and fans in one of these… Let’s say, one of these Distraction OasEs during peak offseason dread and blehs. There will be no fitbaw negativity here tonight. In fact, let me be the first one to extend, to youse, a Happy Oscar Outrage Night.

Put another way, 🚧🚨 SPOILER ALERT🚧🚨

Will the 2025 Best Picture Oscar go to a film ending with a badass and graphic massacre of Ku Klux Klansmen? I have an answer.

⚠️ End of spoiler ⚠️

Personal bias disclosure: during the 90s, the dissolution of the Oslo Accords, plus personal experiences with variable and compound interest, turned me into a hardened cynic. Around that time, “Forrest Gump” beat out “Pulp Fiction” for every single Oscar and I was turned off awards forever.

The Oscars are obvious industry backslapping smfh. This judgment is neither original or harsh; the Oscars simply reward their own. But there are some years when the Academy of Farts and Stiences groupthinks itself into hipsterism or, worse, giving a child the supporting Oscar because tot shots play in the sticks.

Yeah OK. I’m still bitter about the PR quarterfinal loss yesterday in the WBC. I thought getting drunk twice since then would cure it. Nope! Oh well, live and learn. Hey Italia,

Let’s go through some of the most interesting (for me) Oscar nominations. It’s via oscars dot org, no link. Let’s keep this between us 😉

BEST ADAPTATED SCREENPLAY

“Bugonia” – Will Tracy

“Frankenstein” – Guillermo del Toro

“Hamnet” – Chloé Zhao & Maggie O’Farrell

“One Battle after Another” – Paul Thomas Anderson

“Train Dreams” – Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar

Winner: Hamnet

Proof: The Academy loves egghead source material

COSTUME DESIGN

“Avatar: Fire and Ash” – Deborah L. Scott

“Frankenstein” – Kate Hawley

“Hamnet” – Malgosia Turzanska

“Marty Supreme” – Miyako Bellizzi

“Sinners” – Ruth E. Carter

Winner: “Frankestein”.

Proof: In “Frankenstein”, every time Smurfette Lady Elizabeth walked onto a scene, and before she said a word, it was sensational. Her colorful or bright outfits stood out over gloomy backgrounds every time. As to the rest of the nominees, I read that “Marty” had lotsa scenes of Chalamet in boxer shorts. Virtuoso costume creativity clap, clap.

Clap.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Jacob Elordi – “Frankenstein”

Delroy Lindo – “Sinners”

Sean Penn – “One Battle after Another”

Stellan Skarsgård – “Sentimental Value”

Saw all of them, except Skarsgård. So Stellan cannot win #Obvio. Solid field though, from which I’d pick Lindo because he just chewed up the screen every time.

However, also nominated is

Benicio del Toro – “One Battle after Another”

Whommm should I pick?

Never in doubt 🤗✊🏼🇵🇷

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Elle Fanning – “Sentimental Value”

Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas – “Sentimental Value”

Amy Madigan – “Weapons”

Wunmi Mosaku – “Sinners”

Teyana Taylor – “One Battle after Another”

Winner: Teyana Taylor

Proof: See, banner pic.

BEST CASTING

This is the first time this Oscar is awarded and is one I can get behind 100%. On star power alone, I would give honorary casting Oscars to “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”, “The Front Page” (the Matthau / Lemon / Burnett one), and “Hot Fuzz”.

These are the inaugural nominees:

“Hamnet” – Nina Gold

“Marty Supreme” – Jennifer Venditti

“One Battle after Another” – Cassandra Kulukundis

“The Secret Agent” – Gabriel Domingues

“Sinners” – Francine Maisler

Winner: “Sinners”

Proof: Din’t see “Hamnet” or “Marty”. “Battle” and “Agent” had dynamite acting. But “Sinners” was… Wow, wow wow wow. The movie fully changed about half the way through. What a film. This award creates no controversy and slots “Sinners” into Oscar history by being the first Casting award.

BEST INTERNATIONAL FILM

Brazil – “The Secret Agent”

France  – “It Was Just an Accident”

Norway – “Sentimental Value”

Spain – “Sirāt”

Tunisia – “The Voice of Hind Rajab”

Winner: “Secret Agent”

Proof: only one I saw, it’s great! Will see “Sirāt”.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE

Winner: Carlo Ponti—just kidding, jk.

“Sinners” is nominated, so it will win.

BEST MAKEUP AND HAIRSTYLING

“Frankenstein” is nominated and is the winner.

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT FILM

“Butcher’s Stain” – Meyer Levinson-Blount and Oron Caspi

“A Friend of Dorothy” – Lee Knight and James Dean

“Jane Austen’s Period Drama” – Julia Aks and Steve Pinder

“The Singers” – Sam A. Davis and Jack Piatt

“Two People Exchanging Saliva” – Alexandre Singh and Natalie Musteata

Winner: “The Singers”

Proof: yeah right loved it. ‘Nuff said.

BEST ACTRESS

Jessie Buckley – “Hamnet”

Rose Byrne – “If I Had Legs I’d Kick You”

Kate Hudson – “Song Sung Blue”

Renate Reinsve – “Sentimental Value”

Emma Stone – “Bugonia”

Winner: Jessie Buckley.

Proof: It makes the Academy look classy, going away from middlebrow stuff or another weird movie by the same Greek.

BEST ACTOR

Timothée Chalamet – “Marty Supreme”

Leonardo DiCaprio – “One Battle after Another”

Ethan Hawke – “Blue Moon”

Michael B. Jordan – “Sinners”

Wagner Moura – “The Secret Agent”

Winner: Michael B. Jordan

Analysis: After 25 long years, the Academy is on its way back to recover from the catastrophic Best Actor snub of Eddie Murphy in “The Klumps”

BEST FILM EDITING

“F1” – Stephen Mirrione

“Marty Supreme” – Ronald Bronstein and Josh Safdie

“One Battle after Another” – Andy Jurgensen

“Sentimental Value” – Olivier Bugge Coutté

“Sinners” – Michael P. Shawver

Winner: “One Battle after Another”

Proof: This Paul Thomas Anderson movie cycle was unique. The initial stages were the usual: new movie in pre-production, leak of source material, name-dropping of stars attached,… And before the première, there was about a month of 24/7 media saturation of trailers, orgasmic blurbs, and clips. The advertising and marketing expenses turned out to be larger than the domestic box office take. Oscars can magically restore industry credibility to an overhyped movie.

BEST DIRECTOR

“Hamnet” – Chloé Zhao

“Marty Supreme” – Josh Safdie

“One Battle after Another” – Paul Thomas Anderson

“Sentimental Value” – Joachim Trier

“Sinners” – Ryan Coogler

Winner: [see Best Picture, below]

Proof: Best Picture begets Best Director. It is known.

BEST PICTURE

Instead of the usual five nominees, Best Pic is extended to 10 films. A nomination surely brings attention to an otherwise unnoticed sobfest. Plus nominations to popular movies give the Academy the coveted “We too are vulgar” cred. The ten nominees:

“F1”

“Hamnet”

“Bugonia”

“Frankenstein”

“Train Dreams”

“Marty Supreme”

“Sentimental Value”

“The Secret Agent”

All well and good, but I see only two contenders:

“Sinners”

“One Battle after Another”

Winner: One Battle after Another

Taek: In a movie about rebellion, Leonardo DeCaprio is a liberal troubled rando and has a big heart that smothers the radical leanings of everyone in his circle. “Battle” is a revolutionary movie in name only, rattling and infuriating the lil’ Frantz Fanon who lives inside me. Which is exactly why the Academy will give “Battle” all the film accolades. It’s a great movie, but it ain’t no “Sinners”. Ay Sinners… I haven’t seen a film like that one, an entertaining, compelling, scary and often stressful watch. Not the end. That was badass.

In 2005, for the Hater Time Travelers video, Dave Chappelle said that African Americans shooting slave owners was funny as hell, but said he wasn’t allowed to show that. Chappelle said that for effect, because the video did show such shootings. Now it’s 2026, and I think U.S. media powerbrokers are more vigilant about, or scared of, folks taking it to The White Man. And that is why “Sinners” is too controversial to win. “Battle” is merely controversially chic, Oscar material thru & thru.