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Subsequent GTD reflections

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

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Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

Got a fun cold late last week.  Coughing up chunks now.  Fun. 
It’s also been snowing here, but nothing that needs shoveling or will stay very long. Just glad most of the snow melted, so it’s not like backing out of a tunnel now when leaving my house.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

My wife announced last night she was making chicken meatballs. My grandfather would have been horrified. So to offset that I smoked a pack of Camel filterless, smashed down a six pack of Bud heavy, drank about three miniatures of Carstairs bourbon, and proceeded to ruin the dinner with crass jokes, random yelling, and pushing my dentures out of my mouth to terrify my children.
jjfozz

Found a funny:

the people who complain most about “thought crimes” always mean something boring like, “I think I should be able to say slurs” instead of a real criminal thought, like “what if there were a potato that moaned when you ate it”
rockingdog

I know that I have the surfing bug again because I’m just getting over an illness and I see this headline…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and I’m all…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Straight of Hormus was a thing I swear I learned about only one time. Like someone showed me that map and the Mighty Mississippi Size (i dont know…) waterway And the takeaway I had was, “oh yeah, that’s just so obviously something you cannot effectively control and secure by force.” I understood how At The Table Iran was and knew it.

And for the next 15 years, I figured everyone had just also seen this map at some point. Like early internet. And that’s why like everyone understood why we didnt attack Iran when we had them sandwiched between Iraq and Afghanistan deployments.

But now — and this is my fault for being surprised in 2026 — I’m realizing a lot of people have not, in fact, seen that map and, as importantly, the joke that the most practical option here is trying to have the tanker jump the point.
blaxabbath

Found a funny:

Pretending like you are going to war instead of a baseball tournament and then losing at baseball is super funny
rockingdog

New thread? Will repost about that Bama kid
It’s a whole new verse for the Afroman song.
“I was going to the tourney, but I got high.
Gonna make that basketball journey, but I got high.
now I’m watching em on tv and I know why…
Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high”
Doktor Zymm

DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: [immediately prior to leaving for vacation] We need to clean before we go. I don’t want to come home to a dirty house.

– [one week later] –

DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: [immediately after arriving home] We need to clean up, everything is all dusty.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

/ DOG and CAT run straight to Dr. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ upon her return
// DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ ignores furred four-legged creatures
/// DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ sprints for closet
//// DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ opens closet door excitedly
///// DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ lovingly tightly wraps her arms around and hugs VACUUM
////// DR. MRS DEADLY, ESQ exclaims, “I’VE MISSED YOU SO VERY MUCH!!”
WCS


Unsurprised

Sharkbait 2.0: “Daddy, draw me a submarine!”

Me: “Say no more”

Sharkbait

Ugh, the required license renewal course doesn’t have 2x speed on the videos. Did you know you aren’t supposed to drive into other cars or do stupid shit while driving?
Doktor Zymm

I’m going to get my Real ID in a couple weeks just like a Real Boy.

Then I’ll be able to vote! buy cigarettes!
SonOfSpam

The first person who dares to ask me if my name is the same as it was on my birth certificate at the polls is going to get a knuckle sandwich. We’re going to Fist City!
Gumbygirl

I saw Fist City at the Roxy in 1998.
Jimbo


Ciao tutti

2Pack

Folks, what a gloUrioUs Request Line we had today. The topic of East Asia went completely sideways almost immediately. Here’s the highlights I noted during the day.

Southeast Asia Diversion care of Hippo. As noted, you can’t spell Southeast Asia without East Asia so it had to be included. This is not how that works folks. You can’t spell Sexy Friday without Rexy but we’re not including him in these posts either.
Parody Asian Rap Diversion care of Dok. Were these songs about East Asia? Readers you know they were not.
Don T complaining no one appreciated his Japanese salsa song, but he got an emotional support pizza, so everything is fine.
March Madness babble. Always fun to intersperse the songs with words.
Super Mario Bros Theme Song Diversion care of Brocky which is technically correct. As there are no lyrics the song is not about East Asia, but it’s from there.
Fake Rikki appearance. Hope the mask makes it to the DFO Hall of Fame.
Blair Witch appearance care of Fake Rikki. Good job, good effort there.
Real Rikki appearance. Hope you’re enjoying Taipei!
911 tales care of WCS. And those were just the first three. Imagine what he’s dealing with at this hour.
Ohio disparagement. As one does.
Exactly zero guesses for the theme song. Rikki game me the answer beforehand and I didn’t have a single opportunity to tell one of you how wrong you were. Disappointing.
In summary, this was a proper chaos thread for Friday afternoon. Hat tip to Rikki for the theme that kicked it all off.

Mr. Ayo

Don T

Today’s Facebook Marketplace Adventure:

-this morning youngest kid sees a sectional couch for sale, brand new, great price

-owner says, “I’m here all day, drop by and grab it”

-the kid, who drives a tractor-trailer for us but is not insured for a 3 ton box truck (a story for another time) ropes me into coming along with him and his girlfriend because I, who never delivers any more, is insured for that vehicle

-halfway there the couch owner texts my son saying he’ll be gone for three hours but he can slide open the kitchen window and let himself in

-90lb girlfriend barely fits into window, has to avoid the dishes in the sink.

-owner didn’t bother telling my kid that he would have to bring a ratchet wrench to get the couch out the house

-meanwhile, I have to explain to a neighbor this entire dumb circumstance because it sure as hell looks like a robbery

/I’d love to see what my blood pressure would have been while we drove away.
scotchnaut

I’m at the Air Canada lounge in SFO and when you sign in to their wifi the password is ‘howdoesthisaffecttheMapleLeafs?2026’
Doktor Zymm

Cam Skateboo definitely has CTE
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/cam-skattebo-says-cte-isnt-real-its-an-excuse
Horatio Cornblower

Can’t remember who said it but the quote was that Skattebo was, “the biggest idiot I’ve ever played with”.
scotchnaut

All-time social media graphic from ESPN

— Rodger Sherman (@rodger.bsky.social) 2025-10-10T13:54:21.421Z

Mr. Ayo

Yeah Right having an excellent pastry chef in his back pocket is pretty much the least surprising thing I’ve ever read here.
Horatio Cornblower

Like having your very own sex dwarf.
litre_cola

His croissants are shit.
Horatio Cornblower

I want to make one thing real crystal like. That beautiful girl with the cool bunny tattoo on her hand? That is my beloved daughter. My mean brother made her cook.
DJ TAJ

Monday came early for me. I accidentally bumped the coffee pot on the counter as I was about to clean it and it broke. So there will be no coffee ready in the morning. I’m already angry about this.
Sharkbait

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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Brick Meathook

Brick may habitually be excluded from SGTDR, but instead he is basking in the moderate climate of sun drenched San Diego.

Here’s the fantail of the aircraft carrier USS Midway CV-41, which of course was named in honor of the famous mob-owned pinball machine manufacturer of Chicago.

IMG_1532
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Gumbygirl

I have a huge zit on the side of my nose. I’m 65!

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scotchnaut

“That zit makes you look 14!”

-Your President

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Gumbygirl

Not mine.

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King Hippo

The last 18 months or so (I turn 53 this summer), my fucking teenage acne came back. They may call it “rosacea” now, but it’s no less mortifying.

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NotShogunButShogun

By divine or demonic intervention (both really), I’ve now made 48 trips around the sun today. To celebrate, I’m doing what we do every night Pinky…TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WOR…*looks around*
Nevermind. I don’t want it. I’ll work instead.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Happy birthday! Don’t quit on taking over the world.

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Gumbygirl

I’d feel better if Shogun was in charge!

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NotShogunButShogun

You’re my favorite…tell the others.
*you did it wrong*

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yeah right

Happy birthday, Yung Un. Keep on doing that thing.

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Gumbygirl

Woohoo!

1000007727
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2Pack

Happy Birthday

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Doktor Zymm

Congrats on being 3*2^4, it’s a mighty fine prime factorization!

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NotShogunButShogun

Thanks! I…tried?

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SonOfSpam

Happy birthday, buy yourself something nice, like a share of the Green Bay Packers.

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NotShogunButShogun

I don’t need moar wallpaper

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BugEyedBoo

Daughter invited me and the missus to sit in on her Master’s dissertation yesterday. A couple of friends were invited as well. I didn’t know that was a thing, but it turned that her professors like it. I wanted to get some of those sticks with a picture of her head on it, or maybe bring a vuvuzela, but the missus put the kibosh on that.

I knew that Masters of Public Health is really all about statistics, but “Directed Acyclic Graph,” did surprise me. Daughter told me afterwards, “Ugh, hate those, but you have to have at least one in a presentation.”

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2Pack

Congratulations to your daughter.

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

You coulda done facepaint
Congrats to your daughter

Last edited 29 days ago by BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup
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Horatio Cornblower

I sat through one of those and absolutely heckled the hell out of one of my friends. The professors later told him it was one of the more entertaining dissertations they’d had, although I couldn’t help but notice that our group was not included in the later, private Q&A he had.

Probably not a coincidence.

Congratulations to your daughter.

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Doktor Zymm

DAGs are great tho…
And congrats on the successful defense!

Last edited 29 days ago by Doktor Zymm
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Gumbygirl

Congratulations Miss Boo! Stats was my college math nemesis. I did better in Pre-calc, I miraculously got an A in that. I had a solid A going into the Stats final, and I blew it so badly I ended up with a C. Still gives me nightmares!

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Redshirt

I’m starting to get the impression that President Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing.

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BugEyedBoo

“Friday’s press gaggle. Barely exaggerated: at 12:03 PM, President Trump told reporters he wanted a ceasefire with Iran. At 12:05 he declared victory. At 12:07 he announced he was sending Marines. At 12:08 he said no boots on the ground. At 12:11 he said he did not want a ceasefire. At 12:16 he declared victory again. At 12:17 he asked for a ceasefire. At 12:23 he told NATO they were cowards. At 12:29 he said Iran was begging for a ceasefire. At 12:31 he said everything was perfect. At 12:36 he said $500 oil was a good thing. At 12:37 he demanded Iran open Hormuz. At 12:39 he said Hormuz was never closed. At 12:41 he said the US was not at war with Iran. At 12:42 he declared victory in Iran.

By 3:43 PM he told CBS he doesn’t want a ceasefire. By 5:13 PM – 13 minutes after futures markets closed for the weekend, in a coincidence that should be studied in every securities fraud textbook – he posted on Truth Social that the US is “getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts”. The S&P reversed more than 1% in seconds. QQQ had already surged 1.1% in the 80 minutes before the announcement, with call options flowing in at a pace that suggests someone, somewhere, had an itinerary.”

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LemonJello

Make Guillotines Great Again!

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LemonJello

comment image

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Doktor Zymm

I just love that giant kitteh on the aircraft carrier. KITTY!

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2Pack

Thanks BoLaMS, these do complete our weeks.

Some day I may find out why guys all decked out in the high performance gear with bikes that cost more than my car… insist on passing… and glancing at me… like we’re in the friggen Tour. My bike (pictured) has fenders, a chain guard and a luggage rack. And my attire is simple shorts, running shoes (nawt clipped in, that’s a wipe out for the kid waiting to happen) and a T shirt. Do you really think I’m racing you? Or at all even TRYING to go fast?

my-bike
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blaxabbath

Look, I hate cyclists.

That said, everytime they turn their head it is going to look like a shitty glance at their relatively high speeds. And dumb attire. And ridiculous glasses. And big dumb water bottles. And wearing a bunch of logos to give free advertising for brands that do not sponsor you.

Point is — they’re not specifically The Worst just to you. It’s about them. And now you can release it….and be like me and vote against all pavement improvement projects.

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Doktor Zymm

There is only one cyclist I like. It’s an older gentleman who rides on the very hilly, very unimproved, road to the farm where I ride. I always seem to drive past him in the opposite direction when he’s about 75% of the way up the biggest hill and he still gives a friendly ‘thank you for not running me over’ wave

3
2Pack

Most traffic over here is coexsistent. We pretty much get along. I hear its not like that in many parts of the states.

I just dont like the snob looks the high end crowd throw towards us unwashed masses.

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blaxabbath

Bathe!

1
2Pack

I have a good, homeboy really needs a bath story, but for another day. It has all the elements: funky me, France, confined space, and some MILF. But like I said some other day.

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2Pack

They build bike lanes all over here, restricting car traffic lanes, and then those guys just ride in the car traffic lanes… asshats.

I: dont wear a helmet (the reckless life thing); stay well off to the side or in the bike lane if there is one; and just like the bike as an offset to running. I’m certainly not racing or even going real fast. Just chillin…

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Doktor Zymm

I’m always amazed at the people who ride the wrong way in bike lanes, although they are much better than the idiots riding on the sidewalk. Was nearly run over by a guy on a bike going more than running speed on the sidewalk with 3 dogs on a leash possibly towing him. I’ve never wanted someone to be impaled on one of those little metal landscaping fences before

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LemonJello

Appropriate response, artistic interpretation:

comment image

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well the good news is that amongst all the other terrible idiotic things they’re doing, the Trump Administration has also decided to rip up one of the most popular and useful protected bike lanes in DC.

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