Your Monday Evening Open Thread

As I’m typing this the Ioway girls ran cold in the 2nd OT. Many kudos to the Virginny defense that locked down tight in the extra frames. And then came the panic from the losers. Now the viewing switched over to a Notre Dame/Ohio State tilt and there are no winners here. Yuck.

This particular offering on my part is going to be rushed because I’ve been in meetings all the day long and there is some swooning of the better half to be done quite soon.

Whatsamatter me?: No my friend, whatsamatter you. Thomas Ragu DeVito the Third is now the #2(snort!) QB in Patstown now that Joshua Dobbs has been cut. The latter probably counted several dozen racist comments against the cap.

Walker Walks, JSN Gets Paid: These days the RB’s are expendable and if you need more evidence than this you’re loopy. He gets monies around 42 mil for four years on average. I’m feeling old man-ish because I’m struggling to see how these salaries are justified. But is this the last squeal of the TV bucks? Or is it the enlarged cap that causes this much to be offered?

Hero Returns Home: It always works out in the movies, right? Gerry MacNamara, the fella that kept the Siena loss to Duke respectable, is headed back to what was once The Carrier Dome. Based entirely on 50 minutes of TV viewing I’d venture to say that he’s a much better in-game coach than Autry. The SillyCuse fans are whining that there wasn’t a nationwide search, that they don’t have enough NIL money and that their moms can’t get those brown stains out of their underwear.

Sports sked:

Senators@Rangers: Somehow, in a playoff race, this is the only game on the tube tonight. Geraldine Bettman is a travesty.

NCAA Women’s BB: There’s an avalanche of games on tap, check your local listings.

Away I Go! (Steakhouse or Vietnamese?)

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Unsurprised

2 am and I can finally login.

Worth it.

Doktor Zymm

Rewatching Doc Martin. Been at least a decade since I watched so it’s basically new again

BugEyedBoo

Got dragged into an India meeting, 10 AM IST, 12:30 AM EDT. I’m not usually shy about telling people to get bent, but they’re working on a ticket that I submitted. I’m a night owl anyway.

Brick Meathook

Now arriving in Chatsworth, the porno capital of the world!

blaxabbath

ASU Sun Devil Nation proudly welcomes Head Coach Randy Bobandy.

871
BugEyedBoo

How’s it go? “That’s where skinny people keep their beer.”

WCS

Fuckin’ cheeseburger walrus, gnomsayin?

blaxabbath

“Fuck off Bobandy.” -T Lloyd, at Big12 Media Day

Brick Meathook

I’m rolling southbound out of Ventura on the Pacific Surfliner, sitting in the fancy dining car, you can bet I’m drinking coffee and smoking big cigars. There’s an old hobo in the corner singing old hobo railroad songs for us and we look up from our high-stakes poker game and toss him shiny nickels.

Today at the deluxe Montecito luncheon held in my honor I not only received the prestigious Man of the Year award from the California Young Republicans of California but I also was unexpectedly awarded the highly sought after Donald Sterling Humanitarian of the Year award. Pretty sweet.

Last edited 29 days ago by Brick Meathook
Horatio Cornblower

Say hi to Jim Tomsula for us. We’re big fans.

Brick Meathook

Only longtime SoCal residents will get the Donald Sterling joke.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s actually a shame he’s dead. Such comedy!

Brick Meathook

Those incredibly amateurishly laid-out full page ads on the back of the L.A. Times Sports Section. He extorted those ads for free by threatening to cut off LAT access to Clippers games. They should have said “Oh yeah? Fuck the Clippers.”

ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously! Those were epic!

Horatio Cornblower

Reading up on the UConn-Syracuse women’s massacre game and, holy shit, “According to ESPN sideline reporter Holly Rowe, some Syracuse players were in tears taking the court for the second half after falling behind by 53.”

Apparently UConn sat their starters for the 4th quarter, so it wasn’t as close as (checks notes) 98-45!?!?!? would have you believe.

Doktor Zymm

This is what mercy rules are for

blaxabbath

Sounds like they need to reduce the size of that tournament and replace the rosters with men so product is better.

Horatio Cornblower

So who else spent their evening coming home from the gym, discovering an injured but alive opossum in the road, locating opossum rescue person, then driving injured opossum a half hour through a surprisingly intense snow squall, only to be told that its jaw was likely too badly broken but at least it would go out warm, and high as fuck on painkillers, and also got home just as your clutch went from making a weird raspy noise to screaming when pressed, and it’s probably inevitable that you need a new car?

Just me?

Weird.

ballsofsteelandfury

Did you mention that you had a Subaru?

Horatio Cornblower

It is an Outback. 15+ years old, 260K+ miles on it, but I fear our time together is coming to an end.

I was hoping it was something called a ‘throw out bearing’ but between talking to the transmission guy this morning, (naturally I can’t get the car in until Friday), and the screeching sound I just heard, (because I did use my car without even bothering to ask Mrs. Horatio “say, do you mind if I borrow your car to transport a bloody but still alive opossum?”), I think we’re past a reasonable return on repair costs.

SonOfSpam

The Indigo Girls cassette overheated in the deck and caused a wiring issue; you gotta rotate it with Tegan & Sara and the occasional Etheridge.

2Pack

Sounds like about time for a clutch.

Brick Meathook

OR . . .

You could get your clutch fixed. The pressure pads are replaceable.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d rather get the car fixed than a new one. If the cost isn’t too much that’ll be the way to go.

Outbacks don’t come standard anymore, (I think you can special order them, and pay more!), and I just want the dumbest car imaginable. Gimme a 6-speed that’s let me play music through the stereo from my phone and I do not need or want anything else.

Horatio Cornblower

According to AI, cost to replace clutch and pressure plates is a rather broad range of $1,000-$2,500.

Low end I would do, high end is very much trending towards “just break down and use it as a down payment on a new car because you know good and goddamn well something else is going to break next month anyway”

Brick Meathook

2024 Toyota Camry. Fantastic car and get a certified pre-owned from a dealer with a warranty. Camrys are economical, reliable, and rock solid. Never buy a brand new car.

Basic LE model runs about $17000. Start adding bells and whistles (and everything is available) and the price goes up. SE model has a lot of stock luxuries and you can find almost any combination coming off 2 year leases. There’s AWD and hybrid options too.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve always bought new, (all three cars I’ve ever bought), but this time I’m probably going in that direction. Outbacks are mid-40’s right now new, and getting one even two years old will take 20-25K off that.

blaxabbath

My brother got a self-driving Tesla on a 600/mo lease at end of last year.

I’m just doing that from here out

Last edited 29 days ago by blaxabbath
Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I’m never gonna get a car the factory can turn off and that someone can hack the brakes on from a distance. If someone wants to sabatoge my brakes they damn well need to get under my car anddo it the old fashioned way

Doktor Zymm

I also want air conditioning but that’s about it. I’m just waiting for the day that my car has become theft-proof because it starts with a physical key

Horatio Cornblower

That’s one of the reasons I want a standard: about 16 people still know how to drive one, so no one tries to steal your car.

2Pack

+ better control, better mileage

SonOfSpam

Good effort, go grab a beer.

(I too have tried in vain to save opossums, who are nature’s victims…I mean their defense is to just fake death, so)

Horatio Cornblower

When I got back to him the little bastard was trying to crawl off the road and I was “welp, there goes the rest of my night”

I have since received confirmation that he had to be euthanized due to the extent of his injuries, but he went out warm, dry, and whacked out of his mind on opiates. Most people should be so lucky, never mind North America’s only marsupial.

Last edited 29 days ago by Horatio Cornblower
Brick Meathook

I’m riding a train and I’m warm, dry, and whacked out of my mind on opiates.

SonOfSpam

And you keep your young in a pouch.

Dunstan

Sounds like a classic country song

Horatio Cornblower

As long as your jaw isn’t broken you’re way ahead of the opossum.

Dunstan

When I got back to him the little bastard was trying to crawl off the road and I was “welp, there goes the rest of my night”

For a moment there I thought we were getting Lowratio’s origin story

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit Dunstan, there’s no way that isn’t going to become DFO canon.

blaxabbath

No. We are in triple digits. Again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
ballsofsteelandfury

YES!!

SonOfSpam

could replace “baja” with “ass” and it still packs (heh) the same excitement

Senor Weaselo

Sharky, we know what we’ve got for next week!

blaxabbath

ASU signed St Mary’s guy. From the area and will work with no real resources from the university? How could the Targeting Kyle Rittenhouses not pulled the trigger on this hire?

Dunstan

As I dropped off my girlfriend for her vacation, I said “well, I guess I’m back to my bachelor roots this week!”

Her: grimaces, imagines me hanging out in bars flirting with women
Me: imagines sitting on the couch watching sports, eating bad food, and posting on DFO

Doktor Zymm

How much time will you spend thinking about the Roman Empire?

Dunstan

Very little, not my thing.

Mostly going to binge watch Slow Horses

Horatio Cornblower

Such a good show, although I thought the most recent season showed some signs of wear and tear.

Dunstan

I’m on S3 right now.

Are the books any good?

Horatio Cornblower

Only watched the show.

Sharkbait

This guy JT Miller, I call him Bernard Montgomery because he’s leading a successful Tank campaign.

Jimbo
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

I hear it’s bad for ankles and achilles

Mr. Ayo

Of embarrassment?

Last edited 29 days ago by Mr. Ayo
Doktor Zymm

The game is a lot more exciting when you replace the rubber ball with a live grenade

Horatio Cornblower

They play that constantly at the local community center. I cannot fathom how someone could suffer a fatal injury doing that.

A heart attack, now that’s a different story. Given the demographics at play here I’m frankly stunned 3 victims of cardiac events aren’t carted off every week.

Horatio Cornblower

So apparently he fell on his head, which is kind of ironic given that he made his billions by monopolizing competitive cheerleading, which is far more prone to that sort of injury than frigging pickleball.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you all considered not watching basketball? It generally works for me.

Doktor Zymm

I was eating pierogies while reading a book instead of watching basketball and it was glorioUs. Although I suspect most activities are improved by eating pierogies at the same time. This hypothesis demands testing!

King Hippo

When the NFL salary cap bubble bursts, that will be society’s absolute, last gasp. We’ll be days away from going full Mad Max at that point.

Gumbygirl

For optimum swooning, go for the restaurant with the most romantic ambiance

WCS

Arby’s it is!

fleshwound_NPG

bonus: go for the most convenient location

if our mcdonalds here in greencastle indiana makes you sick, go to the cvs across the street

if worse, go to the funeral home next door

fleshwound_NPG

syracuse is finally catching up to azzi fudd but still not gaining much ground on uconn

WCS

comment image

Brick Meathook

Real men drink Fudd; transvestites drink Duff.

Senor Weaselo

They did it!

I have no idea when Fudd last checked out and whether that was in the 3rd quarter.

Horatio Cornblower

I asked Mrs. Horatio when Fudd was taken out.

Turns out she wasn’t paying attention.

WCS

Geraldine Bettman is a travesty.

Intergalactic and interdimensional disgrace

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