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Monday Morning Mock Draft: Didn’t See That Coming!

Horatio Cornblower

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Guten Tag, drones.

Tonight, the most glorious Fightin’ Horatios, Men’s NetBall Division, go for their third NCAA championship in the last four years, which is insane.  Yes, UCLA won 10 straight back in the days when the tournament was something like 16 teams and played over the weekend in a couple of high school gyms.

I may have made some of that up.

That said, three championships in four years would be unprecedented in men’s NCAA basketball since the tournament went to 64 teams.

And it had damn well better not go beyond the current* 64 teams.

Yet despite that UConn is something like a 7.5 point underdog against Michigan, and having watching Michigan dismantle an Arizona team that beat UConn earlier this season, (albeit a UConn team missing two of its better players), by 18 points, (and it was not nearly that close), I cannot say that, were I a betting man, I wouldn’t be inclined to take that line and run with it.

Michigan is terrifying.

Which brings us to today’s draft topic:  Greatest Upsets.

The rules are simple:  if the outcome wasn’t expected, but it happened, it qualifies.  It can be a good upset, (UConn over Duke in like three tournaments), in sports, or it could be a bad upset, (Trump over Clinton, something that springs to mind for no particular reason, and by the way, anyone got a fallout shelter I would use?), in politics.

Your choice.

As tempted as I am to take UConn over Duke for the title in 1999,

or UConn over Duke to get to the finals in 2004,

or UConn over Duke to get to the Final Four just a week or so ago,

I think I have to take Kelly’s Heroes, before Sharkbait can…

Wait, sorry, wrong bit.

I will take the US Hockey victory over the mighty Soviets in Lake Placid during the 1980 Winter Olympiad.  Look for RTD to take one or all of the UConn-Duke games.

Also I am making a commissioner’s decision and awarding Hippo the NC State win over Houston in the 1983 NCCA championship.  He could use a break these days, and UConn could use the karma.

 

It’s possible the featured image gave this one away.

The rest of you are on the clock.

*In this house we do not recognize the play-in games

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t know why I’m so shy about invoicing. I guess the problem is that I like money, but I don’t like asking for it.

1
scotchnaut

We’ll just get this out of the way. SillyCuse was the very first #2 seed to ever lose a tourney game-it happened vs Temple. (there’s a caveat-they had 4(!) future NBA’ers on a 17-13 team that was coached by John Chaney)

The salve for this wound was brand-new coach Gerry MacNamara putting the team on his back as a player and winning the 2006 Big East title. There was a tremendous amount of criticism of G-Mac and (this is why I sometimes admire Boeheim) his coach during a press conference said, “Without MacNamara, we wouldn’t have won 10 fucking games”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ArlqIs2NT8

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WCS

2012 Orange Bowl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsecYJ3338s

Everyone outside of West Virginia thought Dabo, Dabo!, DABO!!’s PRAISE JEBUS Squad was going to murderdeathkill the Cousinfuckers. Didn’t quite go that way.
How young and naive we were, thinking Dana Holgorsen knew what he was doing, and this wasn’t just a flash-in-pan season… Still a lot of fun, though!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

4. “Lorenzo” over matador Victor Barrio:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheBullWins/comments/eapwy4/bullfighter_victor_barrio_gored/

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Note that a bull hadn’t scored a victory over a bullfighter in thirty years. They had picked off a couple of banderilleros, but that’s like winning the NIT.

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Horatio Cornblower

Is the matador dead? I hope he’s dead.

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scotchnaut

-Not Ernest Hemingway

edit-bullfighting is unwatchable for me

Last edited 16 days ago by scotchnaut
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Very.

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Horatio Cornblower

Good. All bullfighters go to hell.

1
Horatio Cornblower

UConn, a #2 seed, rallies to beat #1 seed Duke in the 2004 semi-finals.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I sometimes watch that video to cheer myself up when I’m feeling blue. It’s nice having something that will do the job much quicker now!

Though seeing Coach Ratface screaming “FOUL! THAT’S A FOUL!” to no avail in the closing moments is pretty hard to upstage. I’ll keep this one in my back pocket.

0
Redshirt

Truman over Dewey. Back when the term Fake News was hilarious and fun.

IMG_3401
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scotchnaut

There’s another country that didn’t like the idea of a female leader and that was Canada in 1993. Kim Campbell took over for the ruling Conservative party that was previously led by Brian Mulroney. She was in office for 132 days and then the results of the federal election came in. Her party started the evening with 154 seats and ended up with just 2. The Liberals were expected to close the gap on the ruling Conservatives but blew them out instead.

1
WCS

WVU knocking off Kentucky to get to the Final Four in 2010.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bn6YybO8Oo

That UK team had three first-round NBA Draft picks. Huggs’ bloodstream was more gin than oxygen, and DeSean Butler cemented himself as a Mountaineer legend.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I was watching that game during a cash poker game.

The poker game came to a dead stop for the last few minutes of the basketball game.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

3. Marisa Tomei over Field, 1993 Academy Awards

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4
Brocky

sees gloves

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Doktor Zymm

In the grand tradition of ignoring the draft rules, I’m not gonn wait to post this one.
Emus over the Australian army
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Doktor Zymm

The English over the French in the battle of Agincourt
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BugEyedBoo

Crecy 2: Longbow Boogaloo.

If you want to read about more battles featuring armored knights getting it in the shorts: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_battles_involving_the_Old_Swiss_Confederacy .

0
SonOfSpam

It’s an upset that I’ve never heard the John Mulaney/Ray Lewis story before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BZRLXN-olk

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Sharkbait

h
ttps://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1yzeo

Breaking that up not because it’s NSFW, but the fact that you cant stop the autoplay

Last edited 16 days ago by Sharkbait
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Redshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snISurWcFo8&pp=ygUQdW1iYyB2cyB2aXJnaW5pYQ%3D%3D

#16 UMBC over #1 Virginia. Is it still considered an upset if it’s a blowout?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was so delightfully fun to watch.

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Horatio Cornblower

UConn over Duke in 2026.

comment image?quality=100

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let’s watch it again! This time from what appears to be a vantage point in a Duke section!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdHupbUM1YY

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Moonlight over La La Land

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SonOfSpam

Never seen Moonlight. There was a movie called “La La Land” and somehow Moonlight was the gay one? Anyway, yes, hell of an upset.

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SonOfSpam

Upset over Man o’ War in the 1919 Sanford Memorial Stakes was the only loss in Man o’ War’s career.

What’s interesting is that the term “upset” for an unexpected result did NAWT originate from this racehorse. He just happened to be named that, then happened to pull it off.

Here’s a pic of Upset. Nice horsey!

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6
Redshirt

Ohio State over Miami, 2003 Fiesta Bowl.

BLEERGH assist and McGahee knee explody aside, no one thought the Buckeyes had a chance against the Hurricanes.

1
Downfield Matriculator

As an OSU fan, that was great; as a UM hater there’s also the Appalachian State game in 2007 to keep you happy.

3
Redshirt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Agqj_GXXHQ&pp=ygUUYXBwIHN0YXRlIHJhZGlvIGNhbGw%3D

I just love it when the radio commentators forget doing their jobs and act like fans.

2
Brocky

Oh, the band is out on the field! He’s gonna go into the end zone! He got into the end zone!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

2. Buster Douglas knocks out Mike Tyson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZynr1TNV_g

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SonOfSpam

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Undercover cop v Eugene Robinson

1
Horatio Cornblower

Is an NFL player getting busted for doing something stupid really an upset?

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Brocky

I mean, if you’re so used to them getting away with stuff that you fully expect the nfl player to not suffer any significant long term negative consequences, then yeah its an upset

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Memories…

ben_trisomy
1
scotchnaut

1996, the Nigerians win Olympic soccer gold, running over Mexico, Brazil and Argentina on their way to victory.

soccer
4
Gumbygirl

Super bowl XXX when the Steelers lost to the motherfucking Cowboys. I was VERY upset!

2
ballsofsteelandfury

It was Neil O’Donnell. Did you really expect him to win?

3
Brocky

I’m pretty sure even Neil’s mother had money on the cowboys

4
Gumbygirl

I didn’t say it was an upset, I said I was upset!

1
BugEyedBoo

Gonna mention that to my wife. She’s still mad about that game.

1
Downfield Matriculator

Neil made two passes to Larry Brown that sad day, failing to note that Brown played for the other team. The Paul Harvey rest of the story is that, after being named Super Bowl MVP for those picks, the Raiders picked him up and he proceeded to suck ass. In short, Larry Brown owes Neil O’Donnell at least a steak dinner and probably a few million bucks.

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Raiders front office (artist’s conception):

1000001947
3
Horatio Cornblower

Neil really deserved the MVP for that game. Brown didn’t have to move for those picks.

2
Brocky

Super bowl 32 broncos over packers

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I didn’t watch much football back then, but already I was tired of Brett Favre being a media darling

I know elway gets more credit than he deserves for the two sb wins, and there’s a lot of criticism to be had of his post playing career, but it was still cool to see

Last edited 16 days ago by Brocky
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Horatio Cornblower

UConn beats Duke in 1999 for the NCAA championship, world is shocked.

3
Sharkbait

Jethro Tull winning the Grammy over Metallica. They didn’t bother showing up because they knew Metallica was going to (should have) won

6
Brick Meathook

You’ve really got to go with the National Book Award for fiction in 1962, when the obscure novel The Moviegoer, a nothing book about nothing written by a nobody named Walker Percy, won top prize over such good books like Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates, and Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. Everyone said that hey man this is fuckin’ bullshit man.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As tempted as I am to take UConn over Duke…

Good Lord I love this part of the post so much.

I was fifteen years old and a newly minted UConn fan when Laettner hit that shot against the Huskies, and my hatred for Duke is as deep-seated as any other sports hatred I carry, if not more. It will NEVER abate.

1. That said, with my first pick I will take the Jets over the Colts in Super Bowl III. That game forever changed the landscape of professional football in this country.

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4
Brocky

I don’t care if it really counts as an upset, I’m still making this pick:

The 2025 Indiana Hoosiers Football team going undefeated and winning the national championship.

Despite winning 11 games the previous year, the sports talking heads still refused to give IU any credit, calling them a fluke and calling cignetti “arrogant”

Before the season Indiana was given like 100-1 odds to win the title

In summary, Indiana did the following:

Had their first every victory in happy valley, beating Penn state with an amazing toe tap catch for the winning touchdown

Beat a top 5 opponent on the road in Oregon, a notoriously difficult place to play

Beat OSU for the first time in my lifetime, to win their first big ten title in 50 years

Won their first bowl game in 30 years, beating the piss out of Alabama who absolutely did not deserve to be there, and sticking it to that blowhard nick saban

Pretty much everything in this graphic:

comment image

And to top it off, the personal satisfaction of knowing that I followed and supported the losing in program in all of college football, a football guy who decided to attend a college known for basketball. I had season tickets in 2008, I saw them lose to fucking Ball State

My own dad now brags about this, he’s like, “I swear, brocky was the only IU football fan I ever met before last season”

I’ve had this banner hanging on my office wall since January,

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And if everything else goes to plan, I’ll have another update next week…

Last edited 16 days ago by Brocky
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw, if you had seen the punishment that Nick Saban designed for Henry Kissinger you wouldn’t think he was such a bad guy.

0
Brocky

There’s a joke here that’s going over my head.

Is this a play on the old saban/satan joke, or a commentary on saban budding up to the orange faced pedophile?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Saban/Satan

0
Horatio Cornblower

This is not an upset.

But why bother with rules now?

1
Brocky

Again, they were ranked outside the top twenty, and given 100-1 odds to win.

If I narrowed it down to the win over OSU, would that work?

0
scotchnaut

The Finns beat off The Soviets during The Winter War (1939-40). And yes, it wasn’t pretty.

8
Sharkbait

Everyone gansta ’til the snow starts speaking Finnish.

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Last edited 16 days ago by Sharkbait
9
Brocky

I spent s few minutes looking for an impossibly beautiful blonde woman in track and field attire before I realized it said Finnish sniper instead of sprinter

3
ballsofsteelandfury

In that vein, Christy Canyon beating off Ron Jeremy in I Dream Of Christy instead of Amber Lynn.

Shocker

2
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Dien Bien Phu?

3
Horatio Cornblower

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Turns out “seizing the low ground” isn’t as sound a military strategy as you might think.

3
Sharkbait

Then the follow up from 1965-1973! If you didn’t watch Ken Burns’ Vietnam, here it is in a nutshell: “Huh. We’re in a bad spot. We could back out now, or make it worse. Let’s make it worse!” Rinse and repeat

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Seizing the low ground” is something you can do when you’re a celebrity, you can do anything you want. All you have to do is pass it off as “locker room talk” and not “unmitigated sexual assault”.

1
Don T

Puerto Rico defeats U.S. Navy in Vieques (2003)
Vieques Wins Base Battle, But Takes a Hit – ABC News

5
Sharkbait

Leicester City winning the PL. 5,000-1 odds to start the season

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7
Brocky

The 2007 eli manning giants over the undefeated Patriots

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13
Sharkbait

Fuck David Tyree forever for that.

Also, glad he turned out to be a giant piece of shit too.

(Also uncalled holding by the O-line on that play too. Shut up. YOU’RE salty)

1
Brocky

(Also uncalled holding by the O-line on that play too. Shut up. YOU’RE salty)

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1
Brocky

Everything about this playoff run:

1. Eli, the biggest dork in NFL history, inexplicably getting a chip on his shoulder

2. Beating the cowboys in Dallas at the height of their mid 2000s arrogance

3. Beating Brett Favre in his last game in a packers uniform

4. Holding the “high scoring offense in nfl history’ to 14 points after brady notoriously laughed and said “we’re only going to score 17 points? Hahahah”

5. And mind you this happened after the patriots signed a shit ton of free agents, which is normally “frowned upon”, except its the patriots so they never got crap for it

6. And another thing most people forget: brady got the record for touchdowns by exactly one score, because earlier in the year, brady got pulled against the dolphins when they where up 42 to 14 in the fourth quarter, Matt Cassel comes in and throws a pick six so the patriots are up 42 to 21, and what do the patriots do? They put brady BACK in, he wfo3w another touchdown so they can go up 4 scores in the fourth quarter instead of 3, and then brady later got the record. Blatant stat padding.

God the giants win felt so good

8
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Trump over Clinton

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Vance over Newsom

0
Jimbo

Estas loco.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, I’m half awake and on the toilet…

1
LemonJello

Just like the President!

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