Sand in the Gears of “Progress”: Tuesday Open Thread

Whelp, we haven’t nuked Iran (yet). So that’s nice.

I would like to commend President Trump for his ability to bridge gaps that would otherwise seem insurmountable. In the 47 years since the Shah was sent packing, I believe this may be the first instance where the Pope, the Dalai Lama, a large number of leading American evangelicals and the Supreme Leader of Iran are all on the same side.

A couple weeks ago, I made a throw-away joke about some desperate NFL “analyst” using Generative AI* to throw together a mock draft to feed the gaping maw of the Draft Industrial Complex. And after last week’s article in Nature about Bixonimania and the slightly subtler dangers of GenAI*, I decided to burn an acre of the Amazon rainforest and see what that might actually look like.

Please note: I am anti-GenAI, in the same way I am anti-radium. I acknowledge that it has legitimate usages, but they are so far outweighed by the damage widespread use inflicts that we need to take an axe to the servers (and most GenAI advocates) until we get a well-considered and internationally-agreed framework in place that addresses economic, legal and environmental impacts. I apologize in advance if you disagree, but you remain wrong.

THE RESULTS

2026 NFL Mock Draft — Round 1 (Consensus Synthesis)

Las Vegas Raiders — QB Fernando Mendoza, Indiana
REV: Yeah, ok.

New York Jets — EDGE David Bailey, Texas Tech

Arizona Cardinals — EDGE Arvell Reese, Ohio State

REV: Reasonable synthesis based on the consensus.

Tennessee Titans — RB Jeremiyah Love, Notre Dame

REV: Unusual but not unheard of.

New York Giants — WR Carnell Tate, Ohio State

“The Giants need a true WR1”

REV: LOL no. Whoever wrote the piece that this was scraped from is apparently ignorant of the existence of Malik Nabers, who is universally considered a True WR1 and better than Tate. This kind of takes us back to the Bixonimania situation: since GenAI can easily be poisoned by bad input but conceal the unreliability of its sources by authoritative tone, it’s basically an urban myth machine.

Cleveland Browns — OT Kadyn Proctor, Alabama

REV: Right position, wrong guy.

Washington Commanders — LB Sonny Styles, Ohio State

New Orleans Saints — EDGE Rueben Bain Jr., Miami

Kansas City Chiefs — OT Spencer Fano, Utah

Cincinnati Bengals — CB Mansoor Delane, LSU

Miami Dolphins — S Caleb Downs, Ohio State

Dallas Cowboys — CB Jermod McCoy, Tennessee

REV: Credit where due, these are all very believable picks individually, although the concept that the Saints, Bengals and Dolphins are all going to make rational, non-reach picks feels suspect.

Los Angeles Rams — OT Francis Mauigoa, Miami

REV: I don’t recall seeing Mauigoa sliding this far in any draft, but it’s a credible pick if things actually fell this way.

Baltimore Ravens — IOL Vega Ioane, Penn State

Tampa Bay Buccaneers — TE Kenyon Sadiq, Oregon

REV: I mean, sure they COULD do this. It’s a bad idea (and yet not bad in the typical Tampa way) but again- LLMs rely on the quality of their input, and this is crackbrained in a very NFL Draft Person Who Wants To Talk About Baker Mayfield way. So full marks for versimilitude.

New York Jets (via IND) — WR Makai Lemon, USC

Detroit Lions — OT Blake Miller, Clemson

Minnesota Vikings — S Dillon Thieneman, Oregon

REV: Ok, confession- I thought I had caught the first Major Malfunction here, because “Blake Miller” is so obviously a fake name that even the most permissive college-town bouncer would reject a kid with this on his license as an open insult to his Bouncer Intelligence. No, turns out he is an actual college football player, although I’ve not seen hin sniff Round 1 anywhere.

Carolina Panthers — WR Jordyn Tyson, Arizona State

Apparently the Demon Box has mistaken Panthers GM Dan Morgan for Matt Millen. Three years in a row going wideout in the first round is Not in The Cards.

Dallas Cowboys (via GB) — EDGE Keldric Faulk, Auburn

Pittsburgh Steelers — WR KC Concepcion, Texas A&M
REV: Nah. It’s been 20 years since the Steelers picked a wideout in the first (Santonio Holmes), and they haven’t gotten any less splashy since then. That pick predated Mike Tomlin, for God’s sake, and management’s idea of “innovation” at the dawn of the new age was to hire ultra-retread Mike McCarthy and wait on Aaron Rodgers to crawl out of his drug yurt and signal a willingness to play.

Los Angeles Chargers — IOL Chase Bisontis, Texas A&M

Philadelphia Eagles — EDGE Malachi Lawrence, UCF
“A high‑motor pass rusher who fits Philly’s defensive philosophy.”

REV: Buzz wrong answer, as Lawrence did not play for the Georgia Bulldogs.

Cleveland Browns (via JAX) — WR Omar Cooper Jr., Indiana
REV: The homeless guy who hangs out next to Browns HQ doesn’t even know who Cooper is. No chance.

Chicago Bears — S Emmanuel McNeil‑Warren, Toledo
REV: No Emmanuels allowed in Chicago since Rahm got booted.

Buffalo Bills — EDGE Gabe Jacas, Illinois
REV: Two things- this dude isn’t a first rounder, and I can’t help but hear this in my head:

Arizona Cardinals (via LAR/ATL) — OT Francis Mauigoa

REV: Wow, this is amazing value for Mauigoa. I felt certain he wouldn’t fall past the Rams at…wait a minute! Mauioga was picked a while ago. I’m reasonably certain the Cardinals’ NFC West rivals are not going to agree to joint custody of an offensive lineman.

And come to think of it, this isn’t even Arizona’s pick!

In reality, the Niners pick here. Aaaand it doesn’t get any better from here.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers — TE Kenyon Sadiq

REV: A pick so nice, they made it twice!

Green Bay Packers — CB Chris Johnson, San Diego State

REV: A reasonable first-rounder for Green Bay. Unfortunately for Green Bay, they don’t have a first-rounder.

Houston Texans — IOL Chase Bisontis, Texas A&M

REV: another duplicate pick, but at least the Texans have a pick here

Kansas City Chiefs — QB Patrick Mahomes, Texas Tech

REV: I mean, it’s a good choice…

San Fracisco 49ers — CB Colton Hood, Tennessee

REV: Ah, beautiful San Fracisco. The Citi Buy the Bey….

THE LESSON:

Please note, the GenAI did not “get confused.” It can’t get confused, because it does not think. It can be wrong– indeed, it can be wrong  with a degree of confidence and tone of certainty normally reserved for mediocre white men in upper management corporate jobs.

The sin here is not with the machine. The sin lies with the men who insist that AI can be trusted to do…anything…in a reliable manner. “Always double check” is great advice, but largely worthless. Because humanity is hard-wired to conserve mental processing, we take shortcuts where we can. If presented with information that looks plausible and is stated confidently, the overwhelming temptation is to take it at face value.

There is no point to an Answer Machine that routinely gives false answers, and whose primary effect appears to be degrading the critical thinking skills that enable a person to spot those very errors.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk. Don’t forget to pick up your commemorative pin on the way out