Sexy Friday – 20260807

TGIF! That methadone hit yesterday was great! Or so I was told. I don’t mess with preseason football except reading about it from folks who suffered through it. Anyway, we’re close. Some might classify us as edging, but I won’s be so gauch.

Word Count Filler Time

Let’s just precede this section with a [SIC] because I’m seeing double due to my breakfast and brunch and lunch and afternoon vodka servings. It’ll be fine I’m sure. No worries. Today’s subject is myth’s that aren’t true. Like *record scratch*. Oh, too soon I see. Maybe next year.

False News: No straight lines in nature.
Acktually: Have you never seen a crystal? Or examined a snowflake?

False News: Eskimo (sorry, Inuit and Yupik and dozens of other natives) have hundreds of words for snow what with living in it all the time.
Acktually: There’s no Eskimo language so this can’t be true. Admittedly, most of the natives have they’re own language that have more than one word for snow.

False News:  Primates such as monkeys and apes groom each other to and eat the fleas and ticks off each other.
Acktually: They’re just removing dead skin. And, yes, they do eat that skin. We should teach them the delight of grilled skin.

False News: Christmas is the most popular time that people self unalive themselves. (That’s code for suicide)
Acktyally: Suicides, I mean self unalives, are pretty static throughout the year. If anything, spring is the only slight outlier.

False News: You’re entitled to one call when arrested.
Acktually: You’re not entitled to shit except staying silent. You will most likely be granted the courtesy to make one or two calls.

Fake News: Sexy Friday rules.
Acktually: This is just filler to open up a Friday night thread where the rest of you can shine.

So, um, go shining on.

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Sexy Time

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!