Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.

Was off last week.  The moving continues.  Took another car load of stuff to kid on Sunday, to then bring a different car load of stuff back.  Feel like I’m going to be bringing back stuff every time for the next few months. Got out to play golf a few times.  I’d need to improve just to be terrbile at it, but was good to get out and see some friends and wander around outside for a few hours.  

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.


Finally watching Toy Story 5 🍿 🎥

Conan OBrien is the voice of the toy that teaches you how to poop

Lmao it’s ROCKINGGGG!!!!
rockingdog


Autodraft woooooo!
Sharkbait


Getting a lot of pressure from down by my ankles to take Kyler Murray with the first pick.
Horatio Cornblower


You know all those ancient artifacts with big tits or big dicks that they always say are fertility icons? I’m guessing they have nothing to do with fertility, the artists were just horny
Doktor Zymm


…and so begins the 2026 Cincinnati Bengals season.

Redshirt


Isn’t it god damned wonderful to just gaze at your fantasy squad right now? I mean they simply can’t lose! Absolutely nothing can stand between me and an undefeated regular season followed by a cruel and dominant clean sweep of the playoff bracket. There is simply nothing left to think about except how I plan to create art from poor sportsmanship.
Fronkenshteen


I went to my doctor today for my annual checkup- they gave me the dementia test, lol! I guess it’s because I’m over 65. You will be happy to know that I aced it, bigly. They had tears in their eyes, they said ” Sir, ( they call me sir, don’t question me piggy) nobody has ever been as dementia free as you, it’s incredible how not senile you are, and so handsome too!”

Today [Sept 1] would have been Gumby’s 66th birthday, pour one out for my man.
Gumbygirl


How does the author feel about boobs?

(with both hands probably)
SonOfSpam


Gumbygirl


Okay, now we’re cooking with gas.

Beerguyrob


Tua, who is one loud stadium noise away from seeing into the fourth dimension

One of several great lines in this preview. I will buy a beer from/for BeerGuyRob before I leave this mortal coil.
SonOfSpam


Hey, it’s not too late for fantasy advice for me! My keeper league draft is Monday and the keepers deadline is /check notes tomorrow! All advice welcomeish.
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ll give you the same advice I give everyone: Never get less than twelve hours sleep; never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city; and never get involved with a woman with a tattoo of a dagger on her body.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Never get involved in a land war in Asia either. It’s the classic blunder.
Gumbygirl

When entering a romantic relationship always make sure that you are the crazy one.
Brick Meathook


Looks like Mrs. Scotchy and I will be spending most of April ’27 exploring Cape Verde with our home base being in the capital city of Praia.

/when was the last time we went away together for more than three days without the kids? We think it was 2005
//it’s a miracle we’re still married
///if we like the place we’ll start looking into buying property there
scotchnaut


The Meth Labs in Brown County are operating on Essential Personnel Only.

Redshirt


A last minute spot opened up in a league at work, just finished drafting 11th/12 and my team kicks butt. Both the CTO and the CFO of my company are in this league and I’m gonna beat them both 😛
Doktor Zymm


“TSA Pre Check, cause why would the government focus on getting the ‘regular’ check in process streamlined? It’s only been 20 years.”

God I fucking hate our government.
jjfozz

Some of that is the fact that a lot of the traveling public is clueless and slow moving.
2Pack


BC Dick is here. We leave 545 am for Regina. LaboUr Day classic here we come.
litre_cola


Don T


Hey, Chris Henry’s son is finally on the field. Nice!

May he be like his father on the field and not like his father off the field.
Redshirt

They should have done a pre-game pickup truck giveaway.
King Hippo


So I heard a story on the Dan LeBatard show that made me laugh out loud-

There was a fantasy league of sports media heavy hitters (Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal and also Jon Hamm!) and the winner every year had the right to throw a guy out of the league as they assembled for the following year’s draft.

So Dave Dameshek (host of Football America) takes the league one year and then gets Fred Lynn (Bill Simmons childhood hero) to record a video telling Simmons he’s been tossed from the league. #diabolical
scotchnaut


Update. Very wasted, I blame Bc Dick
litre_cola


Found a funny:

romanticize your life! be whimsical! sleep in silk pajamas, string fairy lights through your plants, tear down flock cameras, scatter nails in ICE hotel parking lots, drink your morning coffee out of teacup rose china with a splash of good vanilla, LIVE 💕
rockingdog


Weekend reading:

The rise of Cat Seducers 🐈

Lmao
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2026/sep/05/the-unsettling-rise-of-the-cat-seducers
rockingdog

LoL


rockingdog

Oh Lord
ballsofsteelandfury

I kinda want to change my Fantasy Football team name to Cat Seducer after reading this article.
This is outstanding.

Lmao
rockingdog


Evening. Long time no comment.

So when do we find out that 2/3rds of the team, all the coaches, and the Athletic Director of Rutgers fixed the game?
JustStopDude


Another wonderful season in the books, Yeah Right. Here’s a metaphorical slap on the ass!🫱

Here’s my steak au poivre story ( you know I have one) When we lived in Scotland, we lived next door to a tiny restaurant run by a Spanish guy named Santana. He was an absolute wizard with red meat, and S au P was a speciality. His place was pricey, but once a payday we would scrape up our pence and toddle over there. Another speciality was the best sangria in the world. We let our 6 year old eat some of the fruit from it our first time there. Without considering the source. Reader, we accidently got our spawn shitfaced! Gumby had to carry him home. Santana thought it was hilarious, but he always made sure to have some not booze soaked fruit for Ben after that.
Gumbygirl


A collection of Sunday Gravy columns, released today in book form, would (deservedly) be on the New York Times bestseller list by the holidays. My family thanks you for another year of your hard work and dedication. My boys are growing up on your food. 🤓❤️
Fronkenshteen


Well people.

My girl stopped over for lunch and I cooked.

Quiche Lorraine and a spinach salad.

House made vinaigrette, Martha fucking Stewart’s pastry dough recipe, which was made yesterday.

It was delightful.

“He’s deep and he’s open over the middle. He’s going deep!
Touchdown!”

Crowd went wild.
yeah right


DFO: Come for the vulgar display of CTE, stay for the dick jokes, and random Pete & Pete .gifs!

¡Excellente, Don T!
WCS


Another website, huh [Don T]?

ballsofsteelandfury


If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.

Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

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26 Comments
Sharkbait

For the lesser footy inclined:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWE6D8uczn8

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. Deadly, Esq. (ret) when informed that rain is expected and that she might reconsider riding her bike to her blood test this morning (artist’s conception):

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good news, she beat the rain. I don’t think she understands that I actually worry about her.

ArmedandHammered

She lives to muddy the floors so she can vacuum them.

Brocky

Happy tuesday yall

My labor day plans went from

“help dad outside”

to “help dad clean up the garage”

to “help dad pick up the thousands of pieces of tempered glass that came from the storm door that shattered while we were moving it”

Luckily he didn’t blame me for it like every other time he does when something goes wrong

Then we went to see the odyssey in imax. My second tom holland/josh berthanol/zendaya picture of the last month

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bowers, I’d think. You’ll want him on your roster forever.

scotchnaut

I’d lean Barkley, I think he has one more awesome year in him and you need an RB. Bowers plays for a cursed franchise-he’ll get hurt or arrested or both and his QB situation is not the best.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS KIRKO CHAINZ SLANDER!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

MENDOZA 4 LYFE

LemonJello

Easy, there, Gov. Abbott.

ballsofsteelandfury

I would like to credit AFL for Lady BFC being pregnant. Those guys fuck!

Sharkbait

Woooo BFC!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aussie rules also gets the blame for recurring soft tissue injuries, but I’ll take it!

Horatio Cornblower

But apparently no hard tissue injuries, amirite!?

scotchnaut

May your child’s first skull fracture be a treasured memory.

-ancient Northern Ontario proverb

blaxabbath

Toy Story 5 is a crime against the franchise. Tablet is exactly what a Tablet does. Kid drops old toys, ignores parents who depend on the tool to make their kid friends, and finally the kid suffers under digital bullying from other too-young users who are not being monitored. In short, it’s the next generation of first plugging your kid in to the network THEN enjoying your kid dealing with an online-first world.

When the child is suffering, it is only then that the Tablet– who was always well-intentioned and wants “the best” for the kid — realizes, “she is special. Tablet networking maybe just isn’t rihht for this particular five year old!”

What the fuck happened to evil, Disney?

3928
Sharkbait

Sharkbait 2.0 may have to go study abroad and find a job til he’s 26. You’d think re-instating the draft would be political suicide, but you never know anymore

ballsofsteelandfury

This is nothing new. I had to register when I turned 18.

Sharkbait

Oh so did I. Luckily I snapped my leg in half and am now part titanium so I never had to worry if congress stupidly decided to re-do a draft

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Still can’t believe your insurance wouldn’t cover adamantium.

2Pack

Yeah draft registration has been in place since the Carter administration. Just a new administrative procedure to track it. Nothing new here folks.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, so instead of deporting people they’ll press them into service and use them as bullet sponges.

ballsofsteelandfury

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Last edited 17 hours ago by ballsofsteelandfury
2Pack

Well done Sir.
Some sage advice here…

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