“Well – Lookee Here?!” – A [DFO] 2026 Seahawks Preview

Hi everyone,

I’m back again to prognosticate on the upcoming season. Today, I will look at the team I have tickets for, the Seahawks. Given that it’s opening day, on a Wednesday, the second day of school, and I live three hours from the stadium, which is across an international boundary, this preview is the closest I’m getting to the game today. Thus, I say with my full chest,

FUCK ROGER GOODELL!!!

Last year, I said a bunch of seemingly smart things, hedging my bets that a team trying to build around Sam Darnold might need some time before moulding themselves into a Divisional Round contender:

Last year’s prediction:

Well, let’s see how that turned out,

So the team I follow is coming off a Superb Owl victory. This is one of the rare moments in [DFO] history where an author is writing a preview from their team’s position of strength.

Or so it seems…

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Offence:

The Quarterback Picture: Last year, I was hesitant to believe in the whole Sam Darnold Experience. He’d just played like shit for the Vikings, and seemed to be a bridge to drafting his eventual replacement. Heading into the 2026 season, head coach Mike Macdonald’s offensive direction firmly centres on Sam Darnold taking charge under center. The road to the playoffs showed he can take punishment and stay focused, so there shouldn’t be much second-year adjustment because he’s not someone teams can adjust to like a rookie. Now he’s back-to-back 14-win Sam! He threw for 4,000 yards, won a ring, and people in Seattle are acting like he’s the second coming of John Elway wrapped in a flannel shirt.

Most of his receivers are back, so he doesn’t have to learn new guys’ styles. The one question will be the platoon at running back, because that’s a whole set of movements to nail down consistently, particularly since he didn’t play a minute of preseason. Macdonald better hope he holds up again this year, because I’ve seen nothing from Drew Lock or Jalen Milroe that makes me (or others) think we’re in the clear if Darnold gets another case of something transmissible like mono.

Who the Fuck Are These Guys?! Running Back seems to be where the salary-capped, tariff-focused economizing comes from. (I’m Canadian; any budget cuts are automatically blamed on Diaper Don.) When he learned they weren’t going to pay him, Kenneth Walker THE THIRD went and got his bag & signed with Kansas City in free agency. That left the position wide open for options, as they experimented with keeping their first-round pick (?!) and drafted Notre Dame running back Jadarian Price to split work with Zach Charbonnet (once his knee-ouchy heals) and free-agent addition Emanuel Wilson, creating a rotating series of options for Darnold to ignore until…

What’s Likely to Actually Happen: Jaxon Smith-Njigba stands as the foundational piece in the receiving corps, signing a well-deserved 4-year, $168.8M contract extension back in March, making him the primary target for the foreseeable future.

He’s supported by free agent retainee Rashid Shaheed, reliable veteran Cooper Kupp, and young depth pieces like Tory Horton and “Hard Knocks” favorite & real estate agent Montorie Foster Jr.

However, fan-favorite receiver Jake Bobo suffered a preseason season-ending knee injury, meaning that John Schneider will have to weave some magic & turn depressed former UW hurdlers into 4^th option wideouts. Otherwise, it’ll be plenty of check-downs for the boo-birds.

Luckily, the tight ends are in great shape. All four from last year – Elijah Arroyo, AJ Barner, Nick Kallerup, Eric Saubert – have returned. This gives Darnold some familiar faces to look for when he discovers JSN is triple-covered. If I had to make a fantasy roster prediction, I’d put money on Barner having a WR-type year.

(Please note that I am so bad at fantasy I was relegated to the [DFO] Fantasy second-division & then denied entry into that league. I haven’t even been invited to participate this year.)

Keeping the Money Safe: Up front, tackle Charles Cross and guard Christian Haynes anchor a unit built to withstand aggressive physical fronts. Key offseason additions include veteran tackle Josh Jones and interior lineman 2026 5^th rounder Beau Stephens. On the whole, stability seems to be the name of the game up front, judging by their middle-of-the-road ranking. The goal is to try and open holes for the running backs to develop some rhythm while also keeping Darnold upright as he runs for his life when playing the Rams. Geno Smith knew what’s what.

Defence:

New Meat!: On defense, second-year defensive tackle Byron Murphy II leads a front line tasked with controlling the interior run game while trying to keep up that line blitz mentality that helped them get to The Big Game ©®™ . Seattle re-signed Brandon Pili and added pass-rush reinforcement via free agent signee Dante Fowler Jr. (another pissed-off ex-Cowboy), offsetting the departure of edge rusher and very scary man Boye Mafe while leaning on awesome Super Bowl highlight Uchenna Nwosu and stalwart guy Derick Hall on the edge. My only concern is that the last two preseason games involved giving up a large number of rushing yards, something I hope will be ameliorated once the starters return to the lineup. Speaking of that,…

The New No-Name Defence: Stopping the run has always been their problem, and that looks likely to continue. The middle of Macdonald’s defense turns to Ernest Jones III alongside second-year linebacker Tyrice Knight.

Depth additions like veteran Chazz Surratt (sounds porno-y) and rookie Abraham Lucas (is Cougar-y) give the linebacking corps necessary flexibility to match up against multi-tight end sets and heavy running schemes. Since I barely knew who any of these guys were last year, I’ll only learn their names if I need to add the suffix “LEARN TO FUCKING TACKLE!” to my exhortations.

Big Bucks on the Back End: Seattle’s secondary saw notable shuffling as cornerbacks Riq Woolen (good riddance) and Coby Bryant (dammit) departed in free agency. All-Pro cornerback & brand-new multi-millionaire (four years, $132 million) Devon Witherspoon remains the focal point. He’s now paired with free-agent cornerback Avery Smith and future salary cap loss safety Nick Emmanwori. Alongside them are returning veterans Julian Love and Josh Jobe, so at least there’s some consistency back there.

Special (Not ‘Differently Abled’) Teams: Consistency is the name of the game here. Actual Super Bowl co-MVPs Kicker Jason Myers and veteran punter Michael Dickson return to handle special teams duties, maintaining one of the NFL’s most reliable leg tandems, although Myers shanking a couple of kicks in the last pre-season game gives me a little cause for concern. Disirregardless, with Rashid Shaheed still taking primary return duties (for now), fourth downs either way are still advantages for the Hawks no matter the pending decision. We all look forward to Collinsworth drooling all over them opening night.

What they’re up against: Not the salary cap!

According to my good friends at Spotrac, the Seahawks still have about $31 million in available cap space, and only $4 million in dead-cap money to worry about. This leaves them in a good place if they need to fill a spot at a deadline or commit to someone long-term.

Navigating the NFC West therefore remains the primary task, facing the 49ers and Rams twice each, and the Cardinals are there too.

The Hawks don’t face the Rams until Week 16, and finish in their place Week 18. By this point last year, they already had a playoff spot locked up.

The real test comes outside the divisional games, because their first-place schedule plus the conference scheduling rotation sure set them up for a tough run. But, it also set me up for maximum return on sales for games I can’t attend. Look at this non-divisional menu of home game re-sale potential: Dallas Cowboys, New York Giants, Kansas City Chiefs, Los Angeles Chargers, Chicago Bears, New England Patriots. The Cowboys & Giants games alone could cover the cost of one seat all season next year.

Ownership:

I don’t know if you’d heard, but the Seahawks were recently sold. As befitting most corporate dictatorships, the old guard was ceremonially feted on the way out,

as the new regime was welcomed in.

Expected racism on some platforms aside, the reaction to this has been pretty normal. At least he likes dogs.

But that’s also mostly because division rivals either bought their own shiny new toys this past week,

complete with complete fucking delusion from the fanbase,

or ended up getting arrested for buying the cheapest pussy one can

despite being a divorced billionaire whom Putin could hook up in a second.

Meanwhile, in Arizona

which, honestly, is probably the best thing for them. Enjoy your 5-12, Bidwells. See you guys at the Draft.

The only hesitation I (and certain others) have about the new owners is the amount of private equity built into the deal. NFL ownership rules require Khosla, the 71-year-old cofounder of Sun Microsystems, to own at least a 30-percent stake as controlling owner. Other ownership rules limit the investment group to 25 members and limits the percentage of ownership private equity can collectively own at 10 percent. There are fourteen (14!) different people listed on the Seahawks ownership documents. This means that while the Khosla’s likely own a majority of the team, they are going to be beholden to their partners for maintaining and growing their investment in this “project”. And as we all know, private equity is a benefit for everyone!

Prediction: 12-5

In conclusion, either this defense suffocates the entire NFL, JSN catches 150 passes, and they cruise back to the Super Bowl – OR, Sam Darnold throws three picks in the rain against Los Angeles, and forty thousand people in neon green rain ponchos have a collective meltdown at Lumen Field. Seattle’s 2026 outlook hinges on maintaining defensive stability in year two under Mike Macdonald combined with steady offensive efficiency. If the re-imagined backfield and decisively retained secondary click early, it should get them at least a wild-card spot (hey – the Rams look tough). They’ll either roll through the division and repeat, or the whole thing will blow up in a cloud of coffee beans and crushed dreams while Hendrix’s “House Burning Down” blares out of some tech bro’s smoldering Tesla .

If fortune does smile on them again, this time it’ll be Beer Brother who goes to watch them NOT FUCKING PASS ON THE ONE-YARD LINE, PETE! and take it home again.