If you didn’t watch the footy yesterday morning this headline means nothing to you. Sher Kahn’s mustache was repeatedly shown watching his squadoo and at one point it appeared as though he jolted awake. Way to represent, owner. Ah, he was probably under the strain of trying to think of how he could double his fortune. I’ll let him be.

Some other group of kids I’ll leave be are the godawful Left Coasters we have in our midst. After much soul-searching I’ve come to believe that most of the fellas that don’t sprinkle edible gold flakes on their morning oatmeal aren’t such bad guys after all. Sure they’re different but it’s important to remain as inclusive as possible during these oh-so-divisive times. A wise man once said “KILL THEM ALL!” and although I will take that under advisement if I’m ever diagnosed as having terminal cancer, it’ll remain in my back pocket for now.

TO THE GAME!

Philly/Jax:

Have you ever seen legit Super Bowl contenders flame out as quickly as these two? Both are just treading water at 3-4 and still convinced that, “WE CAN TURN THIS THING AROUND!”. The loser of this tete-a-tete will be saying the exact same thing next week and a local media that loves themselves those precious cliches will gobble it up. Some defensive backs for the Jags had themselves a $64,000 party and were arrested but not charged after a kerfuffle with security. According to Ian Rapoport, Barry Church, Ronnie Harrison, DJ Hayden and Jarrod Wilson had interactions with various bobbies and were subsequently let go. Fantasy-wise I’m sitting Alshon for this one and inserting Tre’Quan because they rhyme. Don’t do what scotchnaut does.

It’s Bloody Mary (Bloody Caesars up here) time! Hint: throw a touch of horseradish in there-it’ll put a bit of skip into your diddly!