Your “You Want More? ‘Cause We Got More” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

I wouldn’t call two-thirds of these offerings the tastiest of games but it’s not as though your eye bulbs are the least bit discerning. We all learned the dreadful truth about ourselves and others on this site quite some time ago. Shall we dig right in? [doesn’t bother to wait for a response before reaching for the shovel] Let’s. TO THE GAMES!

My Little Ponies/Radars:

Andrew has the luck of the English on his side. That’s the only way I figure he’s gone for 20 TD throws this early in the season. That’s a mere 2 behind league-leader Mahomes. On second thought, that’s probably a typo perpetrated by the writers on every site I checked. No Khalil, no pass rush. The Raiders have the least amount of qb pressures in the league at 30. (that’s a truly tepid 5 per game) The next lousiest team has 52-that’s one helluva gap, let me tell you. Gruden blames everyone but himself for this. Sure looks as though Hodor gonna feast on the Raider D like the turkey leg that it is. Perhaps the Oakland O will pick up the slack? Well, if you think that Jared Cook and his 32 catches for 2 TDs constitutes some sort of go-to guy, you’ve to stop smoking those schnauzer turds. Get thee to rehab yesterday.

Neeners/Playing Cards:

There’s but 2 wins in 14 tries between these guys. That’s a double “Oof!” where I come from. I traveled near and far over the innernet to find some salient nuggets for this travesty but only found dreadful stats that made my face melt. If you’ve wronged your fellow man/woman this week you can consider this game as your penance. It’s one helluva punishment but you deserve it.

Taints/Vikodins

Sing along with me (to the tune of “The Old Grey Mare”) “The new Purple People Eaters ain’t what they used to be, ain’t what they used to be, ain’t what they used to be”. That’s great news for Brees and his gaudy 121.6 QBR and 77.3% completion rate. That last stat is a WOW! signal if ever I heard one. In order to upset the 1st place dude in my money league I went all-in with Brees, Thomas and Tre’Quan Smith. Say a prayer for me, won’t you?

If you haven’t already, please reorganize your ABC CD collection by chronological release.