I wouldn’t call two-thirds of these offerings the tastiest of games but it’s not as though your eye bulbs are the least bit discerning. We all learned the dreadful truth about ourselves and others on this site quite some time ago. Shall we dig right in? [doesn’t bother to wait for a response before reaching for the shovel] Let’s. TO THE GAMES!
My Little Ponies/Radars:
Andrew has the luck of the English on his side. That’s the only way I figure he’s gone for 20 TD throws this early in the season. That’s a mere 2 behind league-leader Mahomes. On second thought, that’s probably a typo perpetrated by the writers on every site I checked. No Khalil, no pass rush. The Raiders have the least amount of qb pressures in the league at 30. (that’s a truly tepid 5 per game) The next lousiest team has 52-that’s one helluva gap, let me tell you. Gruden blames everyone but himself for this. Sure looks as though Hodor gonna feast on the Raider D like the turkey leg that it is. Perhaps the Oakland O will pick up the slack? Well, if you think that Jared Cook and his 32 catches for 2 TDs constitutes some sort of go-to guy, you’ve to stop smoking those schnauzer turds. Get thee to rehab yesterday.
Neeners/Playing Cards:
There’s but 2 wins in 14 tries between these guys. That’s a double “Oof!” where I come from. I traveled near and far over the innernet to find some salient nuggets for this travesty but only found dreadful stats that made my face melt. If you’ve wronged your fellow man/woman this week you can consider this game as your penance. It’s one helluva punishment but you deserve it.
Taints/Vikodins
Sing along with me (to the tune of “The Old Grey Mare”) “The new Purple People Eaters ain’t what they used to be, ain’t what they used to be, ain’t what they used to be”. That’s great news for Brees and his gaudy 121.6 QBR and 77.3% completion rate. That last stat is a WOW! signal if ever I heard one. In order to upset the 1st place dude in my money league I went all-in with Brees, Thomas and Tre’Quan Smith. Say a prayer for me, won’t you?
If you haven’t already, please reorganize your ABC CD collection by chronological release.
Greatest QB of all time v. the likeliest ascending candidate for greatest of his generation. I am enjoying it as a quasi-neutral.
I’m about 14 miles southwest of the Coliseum and it’s like a different state. We are fully socked in and grey with a marine layer and the sun’s shining on my TV.
Damn I love living on the water.
Bananacakes? I say yes.
That was your guy no?
My sneaky WR2 play, yes. I didn’t keep him through the bye week.
Switching to red wine.
For health reasons.
Salut!
Right back atcha!
Damn straight!
Meiomi pinot noir. Going all top shelf and shit.
Good wine for living on the coast
Back to my earlier comment about the Independent Republic of California, we could survive on our wine and weed exports alone!
Plus all of the tech and agriculture?
Fuggetaboutit.
My vulgar palate means I don’t stray from the under $10 bottles at Trader Joe’s but I don’t really want another expensive taste to satisfy.
There is that. My grocery store bill doubled when I started appreciating a good wine.
155.47-130, thank you Greg the Leg!
Packers REALLY making this fucking hard, tip of the RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! cap.
And somehow the DFO Crack Suicide Squad is still the #6 ranked group in the ESPN Eliminator Challenge.
That’s incredible considering 80% of us died in the first 2 weeks.
wonder if it’s still counting the ded who picked well in advance? As I did.
How about some cheapo Jalen Richard points for my DFO squadron?
I just did the math and Truth Biscuit is on pace for about 3600 yards and 30 TDs. I do not believe this will happen.
That’s pretty good for a functional illiterate
“T – I – T – T – … A? – Y – S. TITTAYS!” –Truth Biscuit. *ding*
I was comparing those numbers to Cutler and it compares to his better Bears seasons. That’s… probably a good sign?
you have a REALLY good head coach now, he’s getting through to him. And yes, a very good sign. Catler at his best is vastly underrated. Donks peoples have learned to appreciate that.
Catler had to deal with a new OC pretty much every season.
If Cutler doesn’t have that 26 INT season, I think the entire narrative of him is different.
Denver also has a very weird sports media, and they kind of had it out for him.
Scored fast, MOAR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! points FOAR Hippo!
Laurinaitis jawing at the Pack after the play. Wonder where he would have picked up such skills…
I bet that guy rides the red line at 4 am
Back on plane so will miss rest of games, and late game. The weefee is broked on this plane so no chance of updates.
In other news, if I could time travel I would totally go back and watch a bunch of jousts. It’s a fantastic blood sport and I don’t know why it ever went out of style. It’s also the state sport of MD, but they do it in the modern no one gets killed style. Lame
I actually had to learn that in school in MD.
MONARCH BUTTERFLY!!!!!
Black-eyed Susan!
But don’t you touch ’em because that’s illegal.
Also Smith Island Cake!
pre-Vegas needs to just let the Humps score. They need TIME ON THE CLOCK.
In a way to honor their cities, Arizona is playing like a bunch of geriatrics while San Francisco is modeling their play after an AIDS ward.
Or software engineers who have only worked out in a japanese dating sim
Whenever they show the end zone with “RAMS” painted over “USC” it looks like the TV is fucked up.
Like one of those lenticular images, too – like if you look at it from the end zone seats, it would still read USC.
How glorious would it be for Jon Gruden to be fired mid-season?
THIS GUY, Jon Gruden…
I would actually really dig that
Bowl Cut is gonna ride him for at least three seasons past when it’s clear he sucks.
shit, they might even COVER!
Gronk is the NFL player second-most likely to eat a Tide Pod.
current? Because I’m pretty sure Marinovich would do it for a bump.
I was thinking current, yes.
I think it’s obvious who is the most likely though.
Elisha or the Donks’ mongoloid LT
or Bollo de la Verdad??
I had Eli at #1 because he’s currently playing as his brain is full of suds.
In guessing a certain bag of shit that runs the ball in Dallas.
this
I hadn’t considered him, but it seems he’ll shovel anything into his maw, so I’ll have to revise my rankings.
Assuming Andy Reid is disqualified?
Reid won’t seek them out, but if you drop one in the middle of some pulled pork, he’ll wolf it down like a dog’s hidden medication.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! can do showtime.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! can do a grind-it-out character win.
They just RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
Now have the narrowest 133-130 lead (4 points from the 2-point play!), but only have Jewkah after this game, up against Barner and the P*ts D. Likely need at least a 20-point cushion.
Dead man walking, folks.
because I can’t pick a TE
Fuck me, I needed that Buster-to-GurleyDOWN!!
I wonder what Mercury Morris is up to?
The bubbly is on ice.
methinks the Chefs beat ’em
Interesting.
/Bets retirement fund on RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT! futures.
Regular season, that is. I slightly favour RRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! in the Superb Owl re-match.
Let’s go field goal range!
There’s my Crosby points!
blaxito is either teething or understands this SF/ARI game.
The worst.
Relegate the Clots
Brandon LAfell is still in the league. I did not know that.
Really? Dang.
So, uhhhh… Leicester City’s owner and four other people just died in a chopper crash next to the team’s stadium. That’s all kinds of fucked up.
Wow, that sucks
That’s horrifying. Damn.
I think my goal for this winter will be to bring the sweater vest back. Now I gotta go out and buy some sweet sweater vests.
Just d on’t get any tatoos
Three safeties by my count? One for each time slot?
That’s how it you need to consume them lest you get dangerously safety drunk.
Looks like the early games went about how we expected them to, and the late games are pretty normal so far, so I can only assume something crazy will happen tonight
Insufficient RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
/needed double Buster/GurleyPOINTZ
Just a little strange to see AARon enjoying a lovely SoCal day. (Even though he’s from Chico and played for Cal.)
I guess the life of a QB in the National Football League doesn’t allow for much time back home with family.
between that and banging every athletic brunette he can find!
You can almost see his skin gently toasting in real time
We were just saying that’s it’s still a little surreal to have the NFL back in town.
You even have the Chargers now, too!
Yep but I would regift them back to San Diego in a heart beat.
Might as well change their name to the White Elephants
NorCal is a different country than SoCal.
That’s SO Cal! was filmed befor a live studio audience.
Amen to that. (I remember plenty of resentment against you SoCal’ers about the Peripheral Canal back in the ’70s and ’80s.)
It really pissed off the Fresno residents when their town got divided in half.
It’s really not as different as people make it out to be, at least to a non-Californian. It’s all very “GRR YOU AND YOUR SLIGHT DIFFERENCES”
You’re still a tourist.
I live in a constant state of bemusement and walking faster than other people
The struggle is real enough to natives:
https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/06/12/ballot-measure-split-california-three-states/
That ballot measure was introduced by a conservative idiot to add Red states to Congress tho
I’ve never had issue with Northern California. It’s different but a similar mind set. I fucking love San Francisco with all its warts and quirks.
Oakland is pretty damn awesome now too
I don’t have issue with it either. I’ve lived in both and love this whole state but they are two different worlds.
Last night I was beating the drum for the Free Independent Republic of California and I stand by that claim.
My great great grandfather immigrated from Ireland to fight in the Union Army and preserve the Union I shall.
Can we at least get rid of Arizona and Utah? They weren’t admitted to the Union until after the civil war, so it’ll still be what your ggfather fought for
Very much so. (Grew up in SF, never lived in the southern part of the state, but it always seemed like a totally different place when I was a kid.)
Fuck
If the Colts somehow lose to the Raiders, we’re legally required to mock them mercilessly
that’s a GOOD CATCH
and a reminder that Gurley Man is rightful MVP
I love it when my scoreboard has both a 5-3 and 10-2 score on it.
was 24-18 SCORIGAMI??
Nah, but 25-18 would have been.
how about 27? I wondered about a FG
I think you’ll get a lot of use of this bookmark:
https://nflscorigami.com/
I like the feature that allows you to see new scores by year.
I bought some gummies at the weed store today that are 90% CBD and 10% THC.
Dude! I’m chilling like a motherfucker and no knee pain.
Good thing I’m off tomorrow cuz tonight may get weird.
Have fun!
I, for one, am glad such gummies are readily available now because it’ll make witnessing the end of civilization much more tolerable.
Hippo still needs to be able to buy a nice 1,000-count bottle of Vicuprofen at his local Super Target. NAWT FAYUH!!
Of all the aspects of having legal weed, my undisputed favorite has been the discovery of CBD. It’s fucking awesome. Non psychotropic but utterly fucking relaxing and it basically shuts off the pain receptors. My knees would have been intolerable the last few weeks without it.
Don’t get me wrong, I still buy some of the fun stuff but this shit is next level with pain management.
Apparently there are boba tea places that do a CBD add on
That’s fantastic. Medicinally we live in amazing times.
My irritation is that I have yet to find a weed combo that ain’t a migraine trigger for me.
You might want to try this. THC can definitely be a trigger but CBD should have the opposite effect.
I hope you fail Gruden
Looks like a catch, but who the hell knows nowadays
Hey Brick! Check the Saturday Night Open Thread…
I saw your freeway route! I should show you the route maps I made when I was shooting it.
I didn’t know the Rams were in the PAC12
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjPau5QYtYs
This video is superb.
Interesting to know that Men Without Hats are still a thing, they toured Canada this past summer.
Literal version is better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMGodM0zm8k
MOAR SAFETY DANCING!
We can dance if we want to!
I love it when a kickoff returner refuses to call a fair catch and just gets creamed!
If you’ve never had Maritime Donair Sauce as a condiment, I highly recommend it as your new Sunday Gravy. Already looking forward to the cheesy garlic fingers I’ll be enjoying in the next hour or so.
– 2/3 cup canned evaporated milk
– 2/3 cup sugar
– 1/4 cup white vinegar
– 1/2 tsp garlic powder
Stir canned milk, sugar and garlic powder until sugar is dissolved. Add vinegar and continue mixing. The quicker you add the vinegar and the less you mix (I usually give the spoon 3 or 4 turns around the bowl), the thicker the sauce will be. Let sauce sit for at least one hour in refrigerator before using. Eventually (hours to days later), the sauce may start to separate. DO NOT STIR IT. Simply skim the thick sauce off the top. It tastes fine, despite the appearance that all the vinigar has seeped out of it.
I’ve had Donairs in Canada (even though I had to ask what they were) but I’ve noticed that they stop at the U.S. line and are pretty much unheard of down here. Maybe some crazy border town or two has em but I’ve never seen it. That sauce sounds good though, like vinegar on french fries.
Even outside of the Maritimes, you can’t find them. I’m lucky to have a Halifax expat here in Ontario who makes them properly in his shop. It’s the unicorn of drunk food. I am blessed.
I should specify it’s the word “donair” that’s unheard down south. It’s like a gyro, although a little different I think.
…or a doner kebab?
Yeah, that’s the root word. Lebanese immigrants invented it back in the late ’40s, to my knowledge.
I like the cut of your jib!
Leftwich at least TRYING to get the ball to Johnson in space
Byron Leftwich???
That’s Lord Byron (Leftwich) to you, peasant!
Hey, I hate absolutely EVERYTHING about 1985!
What if I told you that “Back to the Future” and “The Goonies” both came out in 1985?
ah would tell yew meh
Did you just meh the Goonies?!?!?!?!?
they aren’t good enough
Fun fact, that was the last time trade pulled as many points off GDP as in the most recent economic report!
Has anyone noticed that this A.A.Ron character is pretty good at the football throwing?
I was just telling my good friend tiMOthee about that
dropped pickerception, even the fuckups get fucked up