DFO, Money comes in

Week 2 brought a nice rebound performance for WhyEaglesWhy and especially King Hippo while I am basically Shia LeBeouf and our fearless leader is….

Onward and upwards!  Here are this week’s picks:

Balls of Steel

I refuse to live in a world where the New York Jets are actually good.  Indianapolis’ line is worse than a New York subway turnstile.

Philly has played like absolute

They are due for a rebound.  Take the Eagles plus the 2.5 points in a game they should win outright.

Along the same lines, Indianapolis has no business being a 3 point favorite ON THE ROAD against Tennessee.  The Titans played better in the second half against Cleveland and almost pulled a comeback before another turnover from Mariota ended the day.  I say he rebounds at home with a better performance.  The Titans defense should play better and harass Hodor much like the Jets did.  Take the Titans plus the 3 at home.  Stakes: $11 to win $10.

WhyEaglesWhy

It was a nice week for me as I get on the positive side of the ledger. It wasn’t any fun winning my Dallas bet, but as my Dad always taught me, if you’re going to bet your team, bet them to lose. Then no matter what happens you have something to be happy about. Yes, we’re a cheerful lot. On to the picks!

Raiders +3.5 over BROWNS – I don’t think the Raiders are good, exactly. But even if they’re not as good as they played against the Ravens, they’re not nearly as bad as they played against the Bengals. Count me as a Derek Carr believer. $11 to win $10.

Bills +3 over DOLPHINS – Am I really making two bets this week on the Raiders and Bills? I AM. The Bills have just flat-out looked good this year, and I’m not sold on the Dolphins, especially after getting Bortled last week. In fact, at this point the Dolphins are clearly the fourth-best team in the AFC East. $11 to win $10.

DTZM

No picks this week?  No picks this week…

King Hippo

Hooray, evil! You paid off for me, though I wish you hadn’t. My absolute lack of faith in humanity has its imaginary financial rewards. This week, we look at lines that are just so incredibly big that there has to be value. Right?

Jaguars +13.5 over PATRIOTS. Classic comedown performance for New England after an emotional asskicking in Western New York. They will be lackadasical, and win, just not completely annihilate the Jags. Not that anyone has really noticed, but Jacksonville might not be a complete fucking doormat this season. For most franchises, graduating to “run-of-the-mill shitty” wouldn’t be cause for celebration, but the sprawling metropolis of DUVAL!!! just might need to throw a parade. Bet $11 to win $10

Bears +14.5 over SEAHAWKS. Yeah, I get that the Seachickens are pissed off. Yeah, I totes get that Jimmeh “Emu” Claussen is comically bad (I saw many of his reseason performances with the Panthers, it’s amazing he even has a clipboard holding gig). But the Bears have a solid running game, and a coaching staff with time to prepare a gameplan to keep things respectable. Plus, Seattle really  hasn’t been any good this season, and shouldn’t be laying more than 2 TDs against anybody, anywhere, anytime. Bet $11 to win $10

Updated tables:

Name Balls of Steel Initial Bankroll: 200
Pick # Favorite           Underdog          Line     Wager    Winner?    Winnings      Bankroll Balance
1         San Diego       Detroit                  3        11              Y            10.00             210.00
2         Minnesota      San Francisco     2.5      11              N           -11.00            199.00
3         Tennessee      Cleveland             1       11              N           -11.00            188.00
4         Philadelphia     Dallas                  5.5     11             Y            10.00             198.00

5         New York Jets    Philadelphia      2.5       11                          -11.00             188.00

6         Indianapolis      Tennessee          3         11                          -11.00             177.00

Name WhyEaglesWhy Initial Bankroll: 200
Pick #  Favorite          Underdog         Line     Wager     Winner?      Winnings     Bankroll Balance
1          Denver           Baltimore          4.5       11               N             -11.00           189.00
2          Houston         Kansas City        1         11               Y               10.00           199.00
3          Carolina         Houston             3          11               N              -11.00           188.00
4          NY Giants       Atlanta               3         11                Y               10.00            198.00
5          Philadelphia  Dallas               5.5         11                Y               10.00            208.00

6          Cleveland        Oakland            3.5         11                                -11.00           197.00

7          Miami              Buffalo               3           11                                -11.00            186.00

Name King Hippo Initial Bankroll: 200
Pick #   Favorite             Underdog       Line      Wager     Winner?      Winnings      Bankroll Balance
1           Green Bay         Chicago            7         22               N             -22.00             178.00
2           Cincinnati          Oakland          3         11               N             -11.00             167.00
3           New England    Buffalo            1         55               Y                50.00            217.00

4           New England       Jacksonville    13.5     11                               -11.00             206.00

5           Seattle                 Chicago          14.5      11                               -11.00             195.00

Name Darkest Timeline Zack Morris Initial Bankroll: 200
Pick # Favorite           Underdog          Line     Wager    Winner?    Winnings      Bankroll Balance
1         Seattle              St. Louis              4.5        11             N            -11.00             189.00
2         Denver             Baltimore            4.5        11              N           -11.00             178.00
3         Baltimore       Oakland               5.5        11              N            -11.00             167.00
4         New Orleans  Tampa                 5.5        11              N            -11.00             156.00