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I’m late. And when you’re this late, you don’t get to talk.
So here. Enjoy you Week 3 Quotables submissions below.
2019 Quotables – Week 3 (Submissions)
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[…] 2019 Quotables – Week 3 (Submissions) – September 25, 2019 […]
The royal asshole is clean, Your Highness.
This is a pretty good imitation of a Philadelphia Eagles fan following a police horse.
I haven’t seen someone ejected so unceremoniously by a 49er since that time in 1849 when a gold prospector wanted access to land that was inhabited by Native Americans.
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There’s something oddly familiar about a last name ending in czyk and a steelers player getting wrecked going a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
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In actuality Fox accidentally played B-roll from a story about 4 year old pee wee football parents.
[Coach in background wakes up from mandatory sideline nap time] Hey guys, what’d I miss? Oh, GOD.
**record scratch** “Yeah, that’s me getting faked out of my jock. You’re probably wondering how I got into this situation. Well, it started about five seconds ago when the ball was snapped…”
“HEY YOU! YEAH ALL OF YOU ON THE FIELD! I’M SENDING POSITIVE THOUGHTS YOUR WAY AND I HOPE YOU JUST GO OUT THERE AND PLAY THE GAME TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITIES. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, HAVE FUN AND ENJOY YOURSELVES. OH, AND ONE OTHER THING; THANK YOU FOR LETTING US ENJOY YOUR ATHLETIC PROWESS AS SPECTATORS!”
i read this in a Will Ferrell voice.
/humming Purple Haze
‘SCUZE ME WHILE I FLIP THIS GUY!
That’s fucking good.
They’re both delicious AND get your uniform clean. TIDE PODS!
Haven’t seen a Sanders head yanked that violently since Sarah Huckabee mistook her husband’s dick for a Zagnut bar.
Brilliant.
I get wanting to be like Zeke*, but me thinks he’s had too many paint chips
*not really
Yep, that’s my dad. He’d take me to Eagles’ games every fall, singing Linkin Park songs while the players warmed up. People around us complained sometimes, but it taught me a lot CRAWLING IN MY SKIN, REFUSING WHAT IS REAL about how to handle adversity.
Voice over: This week in “Animal vs Animal” we look at the Bengal Tiger vs the Buffalo.
Voice over: dammmmmmmmmmm
They should call him the Cape Buffalo Bill.
It rubs the lotion on it’s skin or it gets the hose
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TFW you realize you report to Dan Snyder.
“BEASTMODE…ACTIVATE!”
“Time to polish that turd of a résumé.”
?
In keeping with Bills tradition, Knox threw his gloves away afterwards and got a ride home with Al Cowlings.
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“I haven’t seen a hit like that since Trent Green was an NFL QB. I wonder whatever happened to him.”
-T. Green
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This is like watching a 9 year old, beat up his little brother, with angry Dad standing in the corner cracking his knuckles.
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Typical Pole, trying to disemvowel vryn.
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Flintstones, meet the Flintstones…
No, take the head with it
–Jordan Howard fantasy owners
I didn’t realize Jovan Belcher was still on the Chiefs starting defense
Folding table fire, dumpster fire, what’s the difference?
True dedication to throw back night includes cosplaying the days when players still had to go off to war to fight for our country
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Jim Tomsula approves of this demonstration of the skills needed to steal a railroad bulls food.
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Ah, the calm rational Eagles fan has been spotted.
I TOLD YOU TO TRUST THE PROCESS!!!
He also looks like an “OBAMA; WORST PRESIDENT EVER!!” type.
Apparently, he works at Penn’s admissions office.
https://www.phillyvoice.com/eagles-lions-fan-penn-dean-admissions-eric-furda-nfl-fox-video-twitter/
/something something Quaker something.
I saw that somewhere; this is all fitting in now.
Worse. He’s the DEAN of Admissions.
I haven’t seen a white guy that slippery since the 2016 Election.
[or that bottom in the gay porn parody film; Lorenzo Oiled]
??
“Let’s see, a white male defender and an offensive black male. No flag” – Blue lives matter.
RUSHER HARRASSMENT!
Relax; Sanders was arrested after the game.
HA, should have shot him; that looks like a gun he’s carrying.
Weird time to play red light, green light.
That’s a terrible joke, which means this one is excellent and should be a winner [seriously].
Thank you, not sure why that is the first thing I thought of, but it works.
That moment when you realize that no matter how badly your brother fails, you are still a bigger loser than he is.
Hurns should thank you notes to the Cowboys since he will no longer be able to remember the rest of the Dolphins’ season.
Kyle Juszczyk’s new nickname is China, because he just caused a Steeler to lose his job.
Referee: “Probably has that illegal visor tint like OBJ. Serves him right. I didn’t see nothing.”
“And if you slow this clip down, you can see the exact moment that his soul leaves his body.”
It’s usually (Col) Sanders wringing all the necks
Simon says touch your ears
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