MOAR Lesser Footy Insanity

And huzzah FOAR that, what on earth would we do otherwise?

We wake (and presumably bake) with Fronk’s Hammers, toiling against the imploding/Hippo believes to be mathematically ded Trash Birds o’ Norwich (7:30, NBCSN/Gold).  Bet they still get a draw, because that’s just how Moyes’ West Ham rolls.  Still, I got ’em locked in on most precious 17th position when the Footy-kakke ends.  Barcodes take on the Moose Hornets in this very dame window, so there’s misery as far as the eye can see.

Liverpool/Burnley stand alone in the 10:00 window.  Because God hates me.  Unless you are DonT, and 2 hours of slurping on the German Elton John’s pole is your jam.

Speaking of Elton John, Pretend Man City’s Danish left winger (OF COURSE teh left ,, smgdh) came out of the Pretend Closet 1.5 seasons ago (is Pretend 2050 now, try to keep up).  Should I nickname him “Bundle of Sticks??”  He’s nearing the magic 30 mark, when I tend to get rid of every non-star player (he’s good, nae great) but he sells a buttload (PHRASING) of Pretend Shirts (the only domino effect of the announcement, nobody invoked Jeebus to curse and shame Pretend Nicolai) and I don’t want to look like a shit.

Pretend Portugal won the 2050 World Cup.  Get your gambling ducats punched NOW.

Oh, back to reality??  FUCK.  Chelski/Knifey in the Spotlight Dance window (12:30, NBC) should have that beloved combination of quality and meaning.  Like when Naomi Watts went downtown on Laura Harring in “Mulholland Drive.”  It will take all of my restraint to not GAMBLOR on Knifey, but the odds just ain’t right.

Other Trashbirds (who look set to survive) host Man City at 3p (NBCSN).  There Will Be Blood.

Whole bunch of other action in the Championship, as Litre’s beloved Mighty Whitey are in the clubhouse sipping gin (after a Friday night 2-nil win).  I leave it to him to tell us/y’all who we should cheer for and against, so that the cause of White Power might be served.

Santanders and Wops also in action, though each has been fucking me in GAMBLOR, so meh.  I won my only Friday (prayers) bet, a resounding 5-1 triumph for Iran’s Zob Ahan.  I got freaking +160-ish on that, even!  Inshallah, pass the pill bottle.

What else you chucklefucks got going on?  Let’s shout at one another from the fraying ledges of our respective sanity(ies).