Good evening fellow Commentists,

In keeping with annual tradition, I will eschew my normal football news recap and instead focus on the immediate need of preparing you for the first-round gloriousness that is the Stanley Cup playoffs. Besides, there wasn’t much to cover today anyways:

I thought about going by start date, but then I got sleepy & had a sandwich. By the time I got back, it was too late to reverse/start course so here we are.

A reminder: In the “bubble” all Eastern Conference games are played in Toronto & all Western Conference games are played in Edmonton.

Columbus Blue Jackets vs. Tampa Bay Lightning: 

It’s too bad fans aren’t allowed in, because it might be the only time Torts gets cheered in Toronto. The Blue Jackets did the Lord’s work & eliminated the Toronto Maple Leafs, thus earning John Tortorella further emnity from another Canadian city. (Previous enemies – Vancouver

& Calgary.)

But now it’s deja vu all over again, as his Blue Jackets face off against a Tampa team that got thoroughly outcoached last year by Torts, throwing many brackets into the garbage by taking Tampa out in four straight.

This year will be different. For one thing, Columbus is short the two players that made that run possible. Goalie Sergei Bobrovsky signed with Florida in the offseason, and watched helplessly as his new team fell to the Islanders in the play-in round. Leading scorer Artemi Panarin signed with the Rangers in the offseason, and was useless as the Rangers fell to the Hurricanes in the play-in round.

But the big reason is that the Lightning are still stocked to the tits with talent, and a chip on their shoulder from getting knocked out last year. Petulant points leader Nikita Kucherov has already disappeared from the top of the table, and captain Steven Stamkos is still injured, but they still have a potent lineup that includes Tyler Johnson, Ryan McDonagh, Victor Hedman & newcomer Pat Maroon. If goalie Andrei Vasilevskiy can shut the door this year, the Lightning don’t need to worry about rushing Stamkos back & can wait on him for the second round.

Summary: Tampa Bay has too much to play for this year for Torts to sneak another miracle past them. The only chance Columbus has is if the Lightning grip the stick too tight & let the Jackets stay close. And I totally didn’t change anything after the first game concluded.

Prediction: Lightning in  five   four   five.

Carolina Hurricanes vs. Boston Bruins: 

[Full disclosure – I’m a Bruins fan. Have been since a child.]

This should be the most fun series of the four. The Bruins are still smarting from losing the Cup to St. Louis last year, and were totally underwhelming in the play-in round, to the point that it seemed like they were just resting up until the real games started. But they have a solid core still anchored by super-pest Brad Marchand & ageless giant Zdeno Chara.

Goalie Tuukka Rask is still effective between the pipes, and stickhandling wizard David Pastrnak is still the team’s best scoring option, despite being skunked during the opening round. This might be the last year of their Cup window, because of salary cap not age, and the drive to atone for last year will be a prime motivating factor.

Carolina, meanwhile is also looking to atone for what they feel was an early exit last year. Even though they got to the Conference finals, they lost to the Bruins in a very unsatisfying four straight games, and will be trying to enact a little revenge for their ignominious 2019 exit. They still have a solid lineup of unpronounceable European names, with guys like Teuvo Teravainen, Andrei Svechnikov, and Nino Niederreiter supporting Sebastian Aho with a cromulently balanced attack. Even in a shortened season, none of their players got higher that 65 points, showing consistency across their three main forward lines but not giving them many options if they get into a shootout. Petr Mrazek has been solid in net, but if the Bruins can get to him then all Carolina has is former Leafs moving target James Reimer.

Summary: The Bruins are on a mission, whereas Carolina is still trying to figure out how they beat the Rangers in three straight.

Prediction: Bruins in five.

NY Islanders vs. Washington Capitals: 

This is another series that doesn’t look very fair on paper. The Islanders are still coached by Barry Trotz, and still play that awful nu-trap game where they clog up the middle & try to limit the number of shots on goal. None of their players topped 60 points during the regular season, and forward Mathew Barzal is their main “threat” up front, in that he led the team in points prior to the stoppage. In net they have last year’s partial hero Thomas Griess, who helped them get to the playoffs but then watched the whole run from the bench, and underwhelming former Avalanche goalie Semyon Varlamov, whose name sounds more like a third-tier Russian henchman from “John Wick”. That they got Florida in the play-in round was a gift, as the Panthers really should be contracted or sent to Quebec City via relocation they are so bad. The one good thing about the Islanders is that they finally realized the Brooklyn experiment was a waste of time & have gone back to playing in Nassau County, where they achieved their greatest team success.

The Capitals have Braden Holtby

and Alexander Ovechkin.

They’re gonna be fine.

Summary: No Penguins miracle for the Islanders this year.

Prediction: Capitals in four.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Philadelphia Flyers: 

This series comes down to two salient points:

• How many goals can the Flyers score, and
• How many goals can Carey Price prevent

Sometime during the three-month shutdown, the 2020 Flyers had their souls taken over by the 1975 Flyers, because they ran through the other three top teams in the East to take the #1 seed. This was despite having a scoring ratio worse than all the teams that got knocked out during the play-in round. The key was their defense, led by Shayne Gostisbehere,

^{pick your favourite representation}

which held their three higher-scoring opponents to two goals total in the three play-in games. If they can keep that momentum going, the Habs are doomed.

For Montreal, like always, it comes down to how much Carey Price can handle, and whether the Habs can get enough goals to compensate for the few he allows. They were able to keep the Penguins to under two goals per game – a 1.67 GAA, to be precise – which allowed Montreal & its 2.5 goals per game to eek out a four-game series victory. Likewise, Shea Weber is going to have to play out of his mind anchoring a shaky defensive corps that allowed Price to get lit up like a Parris Island rifle range during the regular season. They need to keep each game close if they want to have a chance. These aren’t the 1975 Canadiens, who had guys like Lafleur, Lemaire and Shutt to rely on; hell, I think the 2020 Habs only have three French guys on the whole team, and none of them are over 6’1″.

Summary: The Flyers are going to try & wear down Price with continual & purposeful shots on goal, and use their size to keep the Habs away from the Flyers net. The first few games will be close, but Price will eventually fade.

Prediction: Flyers in six.

Tomorrow, the Western Conference previews.

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL: all are Game 1
  • Carolina Hurricanes vs. Boston Bruins – 8:00PM 9:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Will not start at 8:00 due to overtime + decontamination procedures between games.
  • Vegas Golden Knights vs. Chicago Blackhawks – 10:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
• NBA:
  • Boston Celtics vs. Memphis Grizzlies – 6:30PM | TNT
  • Portland Trail Blazers vs. Dallas Mavericks – 6:30PM | TSN3
  • New Orleans Pelicans vs. Sacramento Kings – 9:00PM | TNT / TSN3
• MLB:
  • Miami Marlins vs. Toronto Blue Jays – 6:30PM | Sportsnet1
    • from Buffalo, NY
  • Chicago White Sox at Detroit Tigers – 7:00PM | FS1
• MLS is Back Tournament:
  • Championship Match
    • Portland Timbers vs. Orlando City SC – 8:30PM | ESPN / TSN
• Southern Hemisphere tackle sports:
  • Australian Rules Football:
    • Gold Coast vs. Essendon – 5:00AM | FS1 / TSN2

Once again, we have been blessed with an adequate evening of sports viewing. Enjoy!