An Old Friend Comes Home

INTERIOR – SOFI STADIUM LOCKER ROOM, LOS ANGELES, CA  – SUNDAY AFTERNOON

[LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN]

DR. DAVID CHAO: [Visibly stumbling] HI [hic] EVERYSSBODYSSS!

[The locker room is empty and offers no response]

DR. DAVID CHAO: Oh, a little [hic] alonesh time for the [hic] Doctor and hsssh patient! [Pulls out flask and eyes it closely] It lookshh to me like you [hic] have too mushhh [hic] fluid in your body! [Removes cap and takes a long drink] WHOW! Thashh what I call [hic] surgery!

[DR. CHAO scans the room, squints, recoils slightly and then sighs and smells the flask]

DR. CHAO: Musssta mixed up my [hic] meda-shin again, becaush that [hic] man lookshhh like hesh from my [hic] night-marshhh…

BOLTMAN: GREETINGS INEBRIATED AND DISGRACED HUMAN PHYSICIAN CHAO!

DR. CHAO: Halllll[hic]oooooo nightmare man!

BOLTMAN:BOLTMAN HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE FOR A PURPOSE! DOES YOUR FEEBLE MIND RECALL IT?!

DR. CHAO: [Struggling to think] Toooooo…. Uhhh[hic]hhhh… Do [hic] harm?

BOLTMAN: [Does the splits] OOOOOHHHHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH [Does a back flip to land on his feet] AND FOR THAT, BOLTMAN HAS BROUGHT YOU TOOLS!

BOLTMAN: NOW, SO YOU MAY GET CLOSE, BOLTMAN MUST DISGUISE YOU AS THE ABYSMAL HERETIC HEALER!

DR. CHAO: [Swaying more] Whhaatttt happ’n to [hic[ him?

[The looker behind where BOLTMAN is standing has been leaking blood for some time]

BOLTMAN: BOLTMAN IS RUNNING OUT OF TIME! THIS WILL CAUSE YOU TREMENDOUS PHYSICAL AND MENTAL PAIN!

DR. CHAO: [Holds up finger] One sheeeck-end…[Takes another long draw from his flask] Okaysh, LIGHT ME [hic] UP BABYYY!

[BOLTMAN picks up DR. CHAO and throws him in the adjacent locker behind him. Placing each hand on a locker door, a surge of electricity emanates into the metal and both begin to shake violently. After a few moments,..]

[LOCKER DOOR FLIES OPEN]

DISGUISED DR. CHAO: HI [hic] EVERYBODY!

[The looker room is empty once more and offers no reply]

DR. CHAO: That hurt worshh than [hic] the time I gave myshelf a [hic] hysterectomy…

[LOCKER ROOM DOOR FLIES OPEN]

ANTHONY LYNN: There you are! Doc, my starting quarterback is having some chest pain. Come on!

DR. CHAO: Doctor Feelgood [hic] coming rightsh up!