[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

JV Night Time is (Hopefully) the Right Time

King Hippo

/

, , ,

Holy shit, do I regret wasting my naptime yesterday.  I could have used a nap in that dire noon window of JV fixtures.

Today I learned nothing.  Except that UGA is as good as everyone thinks.

Florida (-7.5) at Kenfucky (6:00, ESPN)

This is almost always an excellent game, that Blue Moons almost always fucks up at the death.

Baylor (+4) at Oklahoma State (7:00, ESPN2)

Surprise Undefeated?  Meet Other Surprise Undefeated!  The consent abstinent against the BDSM enthusiasts – should be fascinating as to who imposes their will on the other, eh?

UConn (+14.5) at Vanderbilt (7:30, ESPNU)

YES, tonight’s slate is so bad that I can highlight this clash of titans.  UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD VANDY BE THIS HEAVILY FAVOURED.  I moneyline bet the Fightin’ Horatios (+450), and expect to be kicking myself for betting only $30.

Auburn (+4) at LSU (9:00, ESPN)

Surprise Mediocrity?  Meet Other Surprise Mediocrity.  The loser of this game will have a verrrrrryyyyyy rough week with the alumni/sports talk callers.

Arizona State (+3) at UCLA (10:30, ESPN)

Seriously, even the Tweaker Slate is meh.  This is really the best I can do, hoping that Herm Plays to WIN the GAME away to Westwood Klavern.  YMMV.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
186 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
TheRevanchist

Since all these shortages on various items has started, the large Midori bottles have been more scarce. Hence, my need to drink more Midori has gone up, and I’m savoring this flavor just a little more than normal.

Oh, and Fresno State lost. They always have a hard time in Hawaii. Something about partying before games, from what is traditionally known from all teams that go to Hawaii to play away games.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Per Spam’s Zendejas comment, there was a guy on the team named Aguilar, one of probably only 2 or 3 Latinos on the whole team. Once he started kicking, the coaches just called him Zendejas. I’m 97% sure they did not know his actual name. And yes, they were pretty racist.

0
Brick Meathook

There’s actually a video posted in that blank space

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else drive 800 miles today or am I the only idiot here?

0
Dunstan

I didn’t drive 800 miles today, but I’m still an idiot, damnit!

1
Gumbygirl

UCLA needs to td here, or I’m going to go read.

facebook_1632685003321_6847977240169575492_8585038400734.jpg
1
Gumbygirl

Narrator: UCLA did not td.

0
Anthony In TX

In my head, “td” and “read” rhyme in this case.

0
Anthony In TX

HMMMMMMM
I AM PROGNOSTICATOR, THE MASTER OF PROGNOSTICATIN’

Predictor.PNG
2
SonOfSpam

And I’m proud to be the anti-prog.

Well done.

1
Gumbygirl

I told you my neighbor I know to say hello to came over yesterday to invite me to her church lady group? Did I also tell you she is unvaxxed, and she and her husband have their own “regiment” which includes the horse dewormer? I was backing up so hard I tripped on my stairs. Get the fuck gone, unclean spirit!

4
Anthony In TX

Ugghhhhhh. The “I did my own research” crowd doesn’t seem to know a whole lot about how research, medication trials, peer review, etc. works.

1
Dunstan

Just tell her that your regimen for warding off COVID is nightly prayers to Satan.

1
Gumbygirl

I told her I wasn’t a church kind of girl. I really had no idea she was a total looney tune, but hey, at least she doesn’t have worms?

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

On the bright side, at least you know she’s more likely to shit herself than you are

1
Anthony In TX

In case you’re looking for something fun to listen to:

https://twitter.com/ShutdownFullcas/status/1444516587294363649?s=20

1
Mr. Ayo

WOMPIN!

Those guys are so great.

1
Anthony In TX

I was fortunate enough to see them when they did live shows in… 2019, I think? It was hilarious and hopefully they’ll be able to get back to that eventually.
The original “WOMPIN” jokes from a couple of weeks ago had me laughing so hard.

1
Mr. Ayo

And there goes the Mariner’s postseason chance.

Never have hope, people. Tis a false facade designed to crush your heart.

1
Mr. Ayo

LET’S GO!!!!!!

NOT DEAD YET!!!

BELIEVE!!!

0
Mr. Ayo

A 4 way tie for the AL wild card spots is now in play.

CHAOS! Let’s do it!

1
SonOfSpam

Luckily for you, you were playing the Angels.

0
Horatio Cornblower

CAN’T YOU JUST FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!!!!????

https://twitter.com/ChrisVannini/status/1444500107521675264

1
Anthony In TX

I’m about to explode! Just filled to the brim with anticipation! About to pop!

2
Sharkbait

If there ever was a game for a David Carradine….

2
SonOfSpam

An explosion of bad football!

And cum apparently.

2
Anthony In TX

I appreciate you taking the head-on approach

1
Mr. Ayo

I assume the game will be over within minutes.

3
SonOfSpam

Halftime will be called “the refractory period”

3
Horatio Cornblower

Magnificent bastards, the lot of you.

2
Anthony In TX

Takes one to know one.

2
Gumbygirl

Oh Jaysus.

0
Anthony In TX

URBAN MEYER’S WIFE RESPONDS

https://twitter.com/spinnershells/status/1444126205201031169

1
Horatio Cornblower

Look, my wife is probably the coolest woman on Earth, but I promise you if I were out getting grinded on by co-eds, (who then showed photos of me obviously drunk and accusing me of flirting with them) while she babysat grandkids I would absolutely take a frying pan off the head.

But then, I’m not making millions a year to coach the Jags for a few months before faking a medical issue and taking the USC job.

4
Horatio Cornblower

(also if we had grandkids at our age she would hit the kids with a frying pan, but that’s neither here nor there)

2
Anthony In TX

She’s too busy spreading vaccine misinformation to worry if her millionaire husband is getting some coed strange. Who knows? Maybe she’s taking the pool boy for a spin while Urban’s in Ohio?

1
Horatio Cornblower

Is she one of those? If so, fuck the both of them.

3
Dunstan

I don’t know how the leftovers I was planning to eat when bad so quickly, so I can only assume that the gods wanted me to order pizza.

4
Sharkbait

Safe assumption

0
Gumbygirl

I’m trying to work up the ambition to make dinner. It would take 7 or 8 minutes, but that seems like a bfd right now. I should smoke a doob, if I get hungry enough I will overcome my torpor.

0
Anthony In TX

I had pizza tonight. It was amazing. It had pineapple on it.

NO RAGRETS

2
Gumbygirl

I don’t hate pineapple on pizza, with ham and sliced jalapenos. I’m doing chicken tenders with toum and a tiny bit of zhoug, on pitas with lettuce tomato, onion, and tzaziki.

5
Anthony In TX

Go ahead and ship some of that to my house. It’s in Texas. Should be easy to find.

1
Gumbygirl

I make a left at Albuquerque!

1
Anthony In TX

See? You know the way!

1
Horatio Cornblower

I had spicy Mexican food.

My regrets will begin tomorrow morning.

2
Anthony In TX

You just ate on credit.

Gotta pay for it later.

2
Gumbygirl

Worth it. Good planning doing it on Saturday. Sunday funday coming up!

2
Horatio Cornblower

Just me, a closed door, and the NY Times Sunday crossword.

2
SonOfSpam

Aw shit, sorry you guys.

0
King Hippo

Criminy, now I actually feel bad for those kids.

0
SonOfSpam

Arizona State’s kicker is a Zendejas, of the Arizona Kicking Zendejases.

2
1 2
186
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x