I am annoyed with Lesser Footy, but there are a handful of watchable “Festive Fixtures” 10:00 brings City/Leicester (Peacock), Spurs/Palace (USA), and Saints/Hammers (NBCSN). The rest conflict with RedZone time, so they can fuck right off. Three ties are #TransformerNuAIDS-postponed.
More importantly, we had two meaningful NFL games on Christmas Day. Thanks, Shield! #ThePauls visited Lambeau, and oh boy, how they Pauled it up. I mean, I don’t call him Baker, Baker, the Turnover Maker FOAR naught. But Mayfield was wretched by his own standards today, getting picked THREE times in digging a 21-12 halftime hole – which extended to 24-12 in Q3. Then…Bay of Green quit playing offense. Despite themselves, Believeland managed to chip the advantage down to 24-22, and got the ball back after an awful Davante Adams drop (hard to believe, but I seen it with my own eyes).
2:05 to play, and needing only three – Stefanski remembered he had a stud RB in Nick Chubb. After all, the team had all three timeouts – and Chubb pounded away – right, left, and centre (heh). This belated, warranted usage (he was getting 7.5 yards per touch) only took him to TWENTY overall touches. But it was now 1st and 10 at midfield, 1:01 left and no timeouts used. Surely, Chubb easily gets 15-20 yards to steal the winning kick?
Nope. Stefanski took Chubb off the pitch, and he never saw another touch. Predictably, Mayfield tossed his 4th pickerception to end the game.
Now, it’s very correct to note the jersey tug by the Packers DB right before making said pick. But it’s even MOAR correct to point out the insanity of putting yourself in that position anyway, and the game in the (tiny) hands of your most erratic player. Nobody wants the AFC North, as we will presumably see when Cincy loses at home to the Ratbirds’ 3rd string QB. STAY TUNED!
Another week, another playoff clinching scenario for Arizona’s Qards. This week, home to shit-hot Indy, but a Humps unit down THREE OL. Scratch that, FOUR OL after like 5 minutes of play. That did allow Chandler Jones and pals to slow should-be-but-won’t MVP Jonathan Taylor down, but Dakota Jeebus…actually played kind of ok? Turns out, AZ’s missing placement holder would be far more consequential than Indy’s OL/COVID woes, as Fatass Prater missed an extra point and two FGs, before making his last try in garbage time. No joy on the ensuing onsider, and the Humps celebrate a yuuuuuggggge 22-16 win.
I actually have a buddy who supports the Qards (stayed with them when they moved from SL many moons ago). He said Kyler is lost without Hopkins, and his words proved prophetic on the night. Inaccurate, happy feet, awful decisionmaking. The full monty of shitty quartered backing. All of a sudden, Koach Kliff finds his seat getting uncomfortably warm.
We have many crucial Sunday Funday matchups, and Scotchy will preview them for you shortly. Huzzah for FITBAW!
LOL
Her walk makes me wonder if she’s an automaton.
She’s like Controlled Mania.
Current Raleigh suburban temperature – NOOOIIIIICCCE!!
Minus 31 here!
And Dave Wannstedt is still a piece of shit
Jesus I hadn’t even noticed Mike Vick. Who cast this show, Harvey Weinstein?
For you footy fans, a Sheet Pan English Breakfast:
the sun never set on the British Empire because nobody wanted to eat their brekkie
Not gonna lie, Charles Woodson is pulling off that ascot look.
Stoppage time interrupted by a CHILD ABDUCTION ALERT, like I am going to fucking know or care. PUT IT ON CRAWL AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN.
Kids can crawl out of really small, confined spaces-I’m sure he/she will be just fine.
Shield Strength of Narrative Index (reflecting how hard the thumb will go on the scale Dec/Jan):
1) Team MRSA
2) Bay of Green
3) Chefs
4) P*ts
5) Clippers du Merde (middle finger to St. Louis’ lawsuit)
Who am I leaving out?
Andy Reid: overcoming offspring disappointment.
King’s African Water Pistols are taking it to Norwich, something I can’t bring myself to even remotely care about. It’s like the Yankees playing my son’s high school team.
Breakfast time!
I want pancakes too, just not enough to leave the house. Maybe the morrow?
Adding Javonte Williams and Penny to player pool.
Fully agreed on the former, if my Donks have any sense (WARNING – they don’t), Javante gets the 40 touches today that Chubb should have gotten last night.
Horse Cock Lock is really just a healthy version of Mayfield. Maybe a hair dumber.
Down 4-nil at the Etihad, Lester clawed THREE back before City woke up. That’s some Bananapuddings fo sho.
Man, eight goals between City and Worchestershire-it’s the anti-tWBS game he would have asked for if his mouth wasn’t full of some rando cashier’s nipple.
Swift OUT
Dennis Reynolds IN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ype12RuDJ4k&ab_channel=FrankReynolds%28BestofItsAlwaysSunnyinPhiladelphia%29
He’s a FIVE STAR fantasy play!!
Adding RW3 with Lockett and/or Decoy Metcalf as a possible stack for today.
Another “windows open” December FITBAW day. Sometimes, I am ok with global warming. Humanity needs to die out anyway, you know?
We’re going skiing shortly.
Which is another GREAT way for humanity to die out, at least if you’re a Kennedy!
What did one tree say to the other?
Hey, wasn’t that Sonny Bono?
And I would add we all bills fans but all Buffalo’s done this season is piss off their circumstantial allies by shitting the pot
Every
Single
Fu
Cking
Game!
Ne’theless, go billz
Is strange, but I don’t mind Grumblelord winning the East so long as they don’t get the #1 overall seed
No #1 seed. That’s enough.
There ya go, Fronk!!!
(sorry about that, Fronk)
So, hear me out as I know a lot of y’all hate the Steelers: What if the Steelers actually take advantage of KC’s absences and win and the Bengals and Ravens tie and we end up with a three-way tie for the division with all teams involved having a tie?
That would be pretty neat, I think.
That would match the narrative of unknown 3rd String QBs being the Bengals’ kryptonite.
Apologies for the beaten-to-the-ground-bleeding cliché,
BUT WE’RE ALL STILLER FANS 2DAY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VbI5zcB8Ac
Got some updates:
Travis Kelce is out today. This makes me like Tyreek so much more. Pringle, Hardman, CEH and maybe even Bell get a little boost, but Hill is now my preferred KC receiver.
Huntley is out with Covid so Josh Johnson is starting. I like the potential shootout here less. That being said, Johnson’s primary target today will likely be Andrews.
Ekeler is out, Jackson is the primary beneficiary
Waiting on Swift news, he’s a game time decision.
This seems like a Yinzers moneyline opportunity, too. They’ll successfully mud it up.
From my intro, “Like Old Bill, (Tomlin) makes games weird and ugly and seizes on chances as they arise”.
almost liek we are SPIRIT ANIMALS or sommet, eh?
Weird how Tyreek cleared protocols just in time for today’s game, where his absence would likely have crippled the Chiefs. Weird.
Like Q-aaron masklessly hugging Erin Andrews post-game. I guarantee he will have a stand-in for his January “daily testing.”
That was such a weird moment even without the whole Covids thing. Future couple?
“Nobody wants the AFC North, as we will presumably see when Cincy loses at home to the Ratbirds’ 3rd string QB.”
With everything the Bengals have put me through my entire life, I’m more surprised when they don’t Bungal it up.
If they ever end up winning the Super Bowl, most fans will living a Matrix-esque nightmare for the rest of their lives, wondering in the back of their minds if this is all just a dream simulation.
This is the last week of NBCSN’s existence so this is the last weekend of EPL football on it. It moves to USA next weekend. End of an era.
It’s going to take some getting used to, entering that new channel number.
NBC just renewed their EPL contract through 2028 so get used to it.
I hate change, but this ensures continued Rebecc-ur and the Robbies. So, huzzah!!
Moment of silence for the fall of a great channel. (As always, the guy in the coffin is the guy who allowed it to happen)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld0uIhst3TA&t=141s
Put 20 Ameri-quid on City-zens/Foxes draw. Because bored.
She wants a drink if you win.
Looks like I will have to offer her a rain check smh
I’ve always thought the concept of a sporty coq was hilarious.
racing stripes frosted into one’s bush??
I’m on record: Frank Reich is a wonderful coach. He’s unhateable and the Indy GM Ballard also seems like a righteous guy. Shame that the Clots are sworn blood enemies.
But Arizony… Woof. Deadbeat dads on a Xmas bender had a more coherent gameplan than the Qards last night.
Stripper pussy is a coherent plan!! – Deadbeat Xmas Dads
But a stripper pussy plan, at least, ALWAYS survives first (or multiple for that matter) contact. Ppl forget that.