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Cheating fuckers. With a little luck, you’ll be out of the tourney before the day is done. May you never win another sportsball event.
The quote and the banner are, of course, from tWBS
/sterilizes floor tile, pours bourbon on it, covers with frying pan upside-down
‘Round these parts, hatred for the U* is total and resolute. I gladly join in. So go… KU!? Tch.
Per USA Today: “The NCAA called Kansas coach Bill Self a cheater 1,000 days ago. His power has only grown”. That’s the headline. And check this out! It’s a “Subscriber only” article. Screw you, USA Today. Before paying you a cent, I would trust my runaway eyebrow hairs to a stylist with Parkinsons.
A common saying is “The enemy of my enemy is a friend”. Pft. Adages that distill millenia of human experience are inadequate for sports fandom. Fans know there are games that are just a pregnant gray cloud of bad vibes and scalding garbage juice. If no game like that comes to mind, imagine a Cowpersons – Pats Owl. Narrated by Collinsworth.
Sorry; my apologies if you were eating.
/lifts frying pan, slurps
NFL NEWS
The name free agents were signed. The QBs who get clicks settled into contracts. The draft is three-plus weeks away. There is still no date for the 2022 calendar reveal.
Still, I did some foragin’. There are some crumbs–baby, let’s get a stew goin’.
-NFL teams that have new head coaches for 2022 today start off-season activities. For those who are lazy [raises hand]: Miami, New Orleans, Bers, and Jints. In short, 25% of all prime time game fodder.
So my bitching about Chi**** and the Maraseses has become a tired bit, eh?
-RB Frank Gore, 38 is looking to sign with the 49ers [cough].
Sorry.
For one day to then retire and, hopefully, “work in the Niners’ front office”.
Let’s bow our head. Per Pro Football Reference, Gore played for five teams, he’s third all-time with 16,000 yards (below Emmitt and Sweetness), and his last snap was in 2020 for the Jets. That’s the Adam Gase Jets, who stand accused in The Hague for War Room crimes.
-Colin Kaepernick held a Pro Day last Saturday. It was during “halftime of Michigan’s spring game for NFL scouts”. (WTF?) Anyway, Kaep would improve every single QB room. Fo sho’ better than all 32 backups.
-The P*ts get WR DeVante Parker from a trade with the Dolphs. NE also give a ‘22 5th round and gets MIA’s ’23 3rd round pick.
-The Dolphs also signed Xavien Howard “to most lucrative contract for cornerback in NFL history”. I love when a headline creates, and ends, all interest in a story. That’s great editorin’ right there.
Stray Observation: per my Twitter feed, Miami’s been gettin’ A LOT of traction as the 2022 Playoff Dark Horse. Whatevs. As long as Tankin’ Steve Ross is the owner, the negotiating table for mainstream acceptance must include Overexposure Reparations from Miami.
And that’s the most concrete stuff that can be described as “events” in the NFL, at least according to the House Organ and espen–aside from the story that league and supplicant (respectively), are choosing to ignore:
-March 31, 2022 – The Hill:
The Washington Commanders have denied allegations of financial improprieties following a Washington Post report that the House Oversight and Reform Committee has begun look into its books.
Sources told the Post that the latest allegations of financial improprieties emerged in the committee’s review of over 80,000 pages of documents and witness interviews during its initial probe into sexual harassment and workplace misconduct.
-April 2, 2022 – Front Office Sports
The House Oversight Committee received information that alleges the Washington Commanders kept ticket revenue that is supposed to be shared with other NFL teams, sources told Front Office Sports.
According to NFL bylaws, all teams are required to pass along 40% of ticket sales from each home game — minus ticket handling charges and taxes — to the league, which then disperses the funds to visiting teams. At least one person gave information in recent weeks to Congressional investigators that alleges the Commanders didn’t pass along the full 40%, two sources with knowledge of the investigation told FOS.
It is not clear how long this alleged scheme ran for or who authorized it.
Today a Commies spokesperson denied that, per The Athletic’s Daniel Kaplan. Personally, I think this story has more legs than an octopus orgy.
In the NFL, being a racist and sexist jerk only gets Jerry Richardson booted. But when it comes to the [Radacteds], Roger Gooddell has behaved like Trump to Dan Snyder’s Putin.
But this is an entirely different situation. Dan Snyder would not be against the NFL for skimming the till; the wrath would come from the 30 capitalists pigs PLUS the Nosferati who own Packer stock worth summin’.
A gentle mass beatin’ is still a beatin’
The chatter is that former [Redacted] GM Bruce Allen is talking. It adds up. Bruce Allen, former NFL royalty (“royalty” in the sense of being a revered albeit worthless prick), is someone who can unscumbag his image by snitchin’. (I guess dirt is better than turd.) The informant stuff is mostly folks I’ve read being all speculative. And yet, I humbly ask: can you stand impassively before a dynamite meme?
Bruce Allen…. somewhere. pic.twitter.com/yezvO6vK1E
— Michael Marcott (@MrMarcott) April 3, 2022
SPROTS TONITE
All times central [dictated not reviewed]
NHL
Bruins @ Blue Jackets – 6:00
Leefs @ Lightning – 6:30
Coyotes @ Blues – 7:00
Flames @ Kings – 9:30
Springtime for MLB
Angelinos @ Doyers – 8:10
Guardianes @ Culebras – 8:40
Cerveceros @ Balboas – 8:40
Opening Day is Thursday. I welcome any and all enthusiasm for Las Grandes Ligas. I’ve read that most fans watch, or hear the games on the radio, in the background while working. Man… Even with fútbol, which I love, I could not do that. In short, I’ve resigned myself as being someone unable to multitask like that.
For me, it’s either watch a game, or work. I mean, I can’t even enjoy a freakin’ podcast while doing work stuff. It’s an either / or situation: work or watch / listen. Even music with lyrics sometimes throws me off and I get all jumbled and shit when I am reading or writing.
Not phone stuff tho. On the phone, I can guide a colleague through a full anxiety attack, or appease a predatory creditor handily, while punching the wall in anger because of a TEN interception in the Red Zone. Speech just grabs and holds my concentration, is all.
Yeah… I’m workshoppin’ summin’ for Aspergers Assemble! Hey, that would pay 6 months of printer paper. In sum,
Top Flight Fútbol
Chile
Curicó Unido hosts Palestino – 7:30 PM
Colombia
Once Caldas hosts Bucaramanga – 8:00
Perú
Universitario hosts ADT – 8:00
Final Destination
U*NC v. Kansas – 8:20 (TBS)
I’m not a fan of NCAA basketball. Or the Marvel Universe. Or fucken wordle. And I confess to euphemisin’ a lot about those particular cultural [grinds teeth] phenomena.
Howevah, I do respect when folks are passionate about very popular stuff that I fail to appreciate–like fast cars, Akira, or chastity. Yeah, I may be an 80 year-old inside, but seeing folks having fun warms my heart.
True sports fans hate watch for fun. Hell, the only way Heaven could be a true paradise, for anyone, is if tWBS gets to see a Jayhawks win. Go Kanses.
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